pregnant and applying to my dream job... need advice!

[BruceBanner]

No one forces you to use your PTO, you are correct. But the assumption others are making is that you are having free time off that others are covering. That's not fully the case. Most people do use their PTO as they want to be paid. So they are forgoing their other time off (vacations) for their maternity leave. So, whether I use my time off for maternity leave, an actual vacation or what ever I want, it shouldn't matter. That time still needs covering while we are gone.

I'm not condoning being sneaky or hiding the fact. I just don't think the interview is the place for it. We don't bring up upcoming vacations or weddings. Pregnancy really shouldn't be different

 

Vacations and weddings dont last 3 months, and dont involve limited duty afterwards. Maybe you are an outlier who came back to work full-time, but if you had the option not to, would you?

 

The whole premise of the thread was whether or not the OP should disclose her pregnancy should she get an interview at this potential dream job.

 

A bunch of us said yes, not doing so (while her right) would be a form of dishonesty by omission and really screw over her colleagues, not to mention discolor her reputation with the employer. I dont see how that isnt common sense.

 

Pregnancy happens, and there are two sides to it from a work perspective. There's the woman on leave, and the rest of the team picking up the slack. You're right, it's like vacation coverage, only 12 times as long. After about a month or two of covering someone else's inbox, seeing their patients, you're over it. It sucks enough when it's your existing colleague, but when a new chick comes on and then 6 months later peaces out for 1/4 of the year, people can do the math. 

 

Oh and the tired "wage gap" farce? I'll just leave these here.

 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2015/04/02/the-equal-pay-day-factoid-that-women-make-78-cents-for-every-dollar-earned-by-men/

 

http://harvardmagazine.com/2016/05/reassessing-the-gender-wage-gap

[ajnelson]

I've been a PA for 10 years. In those 10 years I've had ONE female coworker (doc and PA) either leave or decrease their hours. In fact, I work with several female docs currently, who's husband's are the stay at home dads.

I know some females do choose to decrease their work load once they have kids, but making such broad generalizations isn't accurate either.

[cbrsmurf]

You aren't legally required to disclose a pregnancy, and employer are not allowed to ask.

 

My advice, however, is to disclose it as I would think you would want to form a good relationship with your employer.  It's a big deal for you and you will need to make some modifications for your job, probably.  It may or may not be a big deal for your employer.

[Katera]

Vacations and weddings dont last 3 months, and dont involve limited duty afterwards. Maybe you are an outlier who came back to work full-time, but if you had the option not to, would you?

 

The whole premise of the thread was whether or not the OP should disclose her pregnancy should she get an interview at this potential dream job.

 

A bunch of us said yes, not doing so (while her right) would be a form of dishonesty by omission and really screw over her colleagues, not to mention discolor her reputation with the employer. I dont see how that isnt common sense.

 

Pregnancy happens, and there are two sides to it from a work perspective. There's the woman on leave, and the rest of the team picking up the slack. You're right, it's like vacation coverage, only 12 times as long. After about a month or two of covering someone else's inbox, seeing their patients, you're over it. It sucks enough when it's your existing colleague, but when a new chick comes on and then 6 months later peaces out for 1/4 of the year, people can do the math. 

 

 

 

 

^^^

 

THIS.

[ventana]

Folks

 

It is not the new monthers FAULT that the hospital or medical practice refuses to hire someone to replace her hours..... locums are available and easily hired.

 

It is throwing the baby out with the dirty bath water.......

 

There would be no point if instead of trying to squeeze more and more productivity out of providers so they can make more $$$, and instead hired a correct number of staff to cover long term leaves......

 

 

 

 

Don't make the logic fault of blaming the mother or father for taking leave....

[jwells78]

Agree with: concealing the truth = selfish.

 

Just because there's a law protecting it doesnt mean it's not selfish as hell. What if it was YOUR practice?

 

Glad some of the rest of you feel this way because its the truth, plain and simple.

Tired of this PC crap; I'm not ashamed or afraid to call a spade a damn spade.

[south]

Nobody said it was anyone's FAULT or at least if they did, I missed it.  

 

The situation you speak of is a practice that has two choices when they hear "I'm pregnant".

 

1.  The practice springs into action, taking the time to find, interview, credential and train a locum or another provider to fill in for that time, or perhaps permanently, for the cost of a significant number of man-hours and probably ~$50k (figure 12 weeks of work) .  Collections takes a minor hit as everything slows down one provider (the locum does their best). 

 

2.  They do nothing and it's the rest of the team's problem to deal with for the duration.  Cost:  $0.  Man hours:  0.

 

You're the practice owner or manager and this comes right out of your bottom line, which affects paychecks, bonuses and what have you, (including yours).  You tell me what may be the most popular choice. 

 

You're the employee provider and you were just told that a) the bonus pool will be reduced by $50k or b) you and your teammates will have to pick up the slack for about 12 weeks.

 

You're telling me you are totally pumped about all of these choices.  Well, we differ on that, and that's fine.  

[Katera]

But, there are men that take off for hunting or fishing or some sports event every year. So, yeah. We cover for you guys as well...

 

 

 

For 3 months +?    I'd like to know what they are hunting.  Apples and Oranges....

[Katera]

Strawman. We're talking about the specific situation where the pregnancy is withheld during an interview. I don't think anyone has an issue with a coworker who is already established as a fellow employee having a kid and taking time off. I've had plenty of coworkers do that. It's the withholding it and dumping it on your coworkers before you even meet them, and on top of that, having the attitude that anyone who has an issue with it is part of the mystical patriarchy trying to keep women down. 

 

 

^^^ Exactly.  Don't confuse this discussion with going on maternity leave after establishing yourself as part of the team...vs someone who gets hired and says, Hi nice to meet you...I will be going on maternity leave for 3 months here real soon.  That's a jerk move, and will poison the well.

[rev ronin]

That's a jerk move, and will poison the well.

Again I disagree with this.  The well is well and truly poisoned (sorry, not sorry) for the entire demographic (female of childbearing age) by the legal actions others have previously taken.  We live in a nation of rights, not of responsibilities, and as much as I would love to say "yes, [young pregnant female new PA], tell your employer during the interview: discrimination is illegal so it won't happen if you tell them" but that would be bad advice: there's no proof of discrimination and no easy recourse even if it's strongly suspected.

 

I don't tell my patients to take unnecessary risks, even if it would be nice to e.g. live in a world where people pick up hitchhikers.  I'd be engaging in cognitive dissonance if I encouraged my peers to do what I would never tell my patients to do.

[Katera]

Again I disagree with this.  The well is well and truly poisoned (sorry, not sorry) for the entire demographic (female of childbearing age) by the legal actions others have previously taken.  We live in a nation of rights, not of responsibilities, and as much as I would love to say "yes, [young pregnant female new PA], tell your employer during the interview: discrimination is illegal so it won't happen if you tell them" but that would be bad advice: there's no proof of discrimination and no easy recourse even if it's strongly suspected.

 

I don't tell my patients to take unnecessary risks, even if it would be nice to e.g. live in a world where people pick up hitchhikers.  I'd be engaging in cognitive dissonance if I encouraged my peers to do what I would never tell my patients to do.

 

 

 

I could not disagree more.  It's the attitude of "just because I have a right to do a thing, means it's the right thing to do"... attitude is what is killing this country.  Everyone feels entitled.  Having said that, I am stealing the term "cognitive dissonance".  I like it...it's mine now   :-D

[BruceBanner]

Seems like people either take the side of the pregnant incumbent or the employer and the rest of the team. It's really a matter of social opinion; half of us say "you shouldn't do that, it's uncool and will negate any trust you have with this employer", and the other half say "no way dont tell them they will discriminate and you wont get the job".

 

I think it's the difference between a personal responsibility POV and an entitlement POV.

 

Incidentally I asked my dad his opinion about this as he manages a city department of 100+ employees. He said it would majorly affect her reputation with both management and peers in a very negative way. No one would trust her, and it's kind of an underhanded, selfish way to join a team.

[chicadea]

Just my two cents-

We just hired a new Ortho PA-C into our busy practice and she withheld she was pregnant at the interview. She was less than 20 weeks.

After we offered the job and she accepted, she informed us she was pregnant.

The women (mothers) in the practice were excited, the men a little disgruntled they would have to cover the 3 months call of her maternity leave.

She needs to hold her cards tight, and only disclose if needed be at the interview.

If coworkers are disgruntled, that says a lot about her coworkers.

Women get pregnant and in many countries can take extended leave to raise families.

I can't wait to hear what happened.....

[amwillaert]

I am coming into this discussion late when so much has already been covered. If I can offer a slightly different perspective (based on personal experience). While I agree that it's in everyone's best interest to disclose pregnancy in a timely way (both because of the "team player" piece and also to allow the employer adequate time to find additional staffing should they so choose) I think whether or not to disclose before the end of first trimester is a very personal decision. The fact is 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage or loss (perhaps higher depending on your age and other medical comorbidities). Say I am a woman who has been trying for years to have a child. Multiple miscarriages. I find out (of course) as I am applying for new jobs. Would YOU want to disclose such personal information to an employer knowing there is a good chance you may have to go back and untell these strangers in several weeks/months? This is not as simple an issue as some posters would like to believe.