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The Laws of the house of God. (samuel shem)


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Stumbled across this in some old files

 

made me laugh

 

 

 

 

The Laws of the house of God. (samuel shem)

I.          GOMERS DON’T DIE
II.        GOMERS GO TO GROUND
III.       AT A CARDIAC ARREST, THE FIRST PROCEDURE IS TO CHECK YOUR OWN PULSE
IV.       THE PATIENT IS THE ONE WITH THE DISEASE
V.        PLACEMENT COMES FIRST
VI.       THERE IS NO BODY CAVITY THAT CANNOT BE REACHED WITH A #14 NEEDLE AND A GOOD STRONG ARM
VII.     AGE + BUN = LASIX DOSE
VIII.    THEY CAN ALWAYS HURT YOU MORE
IX.       THE ONLY GOOD ADMISSION IS A DEAD ADMISSION
X.        IF YOU DON’T TAKE A TEMPERATURE, YOU CAN’T FIND A FEVER
XI.       SHOW ME A BpaS** WHO ONLY TRIPLES MY WORK AND I  WILL KISS HIS FEET
XII.     IF THE RADIOLOGY RESIDENT AND THE BpaS BOTH SEE A LESION ON XRAY, THERE CAN BE NO LESION THERE.
XIII.    THE DELIVERY OF MNEDICAL CARE IS TO DO AS MUCH NOTHINGAS POSSIBLE.

***BpaS = BEST pa STUDENT

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