whoRyou Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 TRENTON (The Borowitz Report) — Saying that he was “sick and tired of having my medical credentials questioned,” Governor Chris Christie (R-N.J.) had himself sworn in as a medical doctor on Sunday night. Dr. Christie acknowledged that becoming a doctor generally requires pre-med classes, four years of medical school, plus additional years of residency, but he said that the Ebola epidemic compelled him to take “extraordinary measures, as we say in the medical profession.” Dr. Christie said that, beginning on Monday, he would begin a series of random “house calls” to check New Jersey residents for Ebola and assign them for quarantine. “I can usually diagnose someone with Ebola in under a minute,” Dr. Christie said. “Even faster if I don’t actually see them.” The doctor said that before moving forward with his plan to quarantine scores of New Jersey citizens he suspects of having Ebola, he consulted with other prominent epidemiologists, including Dr. Rick Perry, of Texas. “He concurs,” he said. Dr. Christie defended his quarantine plan against critics, noting that unorthodox procedures in medicine often face opposition at first. “We’re used to hearing that the nurses and doctors who treat Ebola patients are heroes,” he said. “But the real heroes are the people who lock up those heroes.” Sorry folks this is only a satire. I couldn't resist after reading this New "EBOLA CZAR" is not medical ...Does it mater? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boatswain2PA Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Of course Christie is probably one of the few people to understand New Jersey's role in the early course of the Spanish Influenza epidemic. The federal government has been utterly incompetent in its response to this epidemic (and illegal immigration). I can't blame the Governor's for taking a more proactive approach to both events. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boatswain2PA Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Double post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
db_pavnp Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Obscure reference to unrelated pandemic, check. Blanket description of government as utterly incompetent, check. Linking topic to immigration, check. Yup, it's a Boat Post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boatswain2PA Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Try again, but this time put on your thinking cap. One of the first cases of the Spanish Influenza in the US was in New Jersey. Started with one soldier who just returned from Europe, and it spread through Fort Dix, then devastated nearby Philadelphia (although another theory is that it came to Philly via a ship from New Orleans). Of course there is a big difference between influenza and Ebola, but epidemiological standards of limiting movement of possible vectors still apply, no matter what the political consequences. "Blanket description of government as utterly incompetent" - - learn to read, or stop being so intentionally dramatic. I gave two specific, and related, examples. The federal governments response to Ebola HAS been incompetent with mixed messages from the President on down to the CDC, with the latest snafu being the CDC issuing Ebola "sneeze precautions" guidelines, only to pull them from their website a little while later (while the WHO still has it). With immigration, the federal government has not only decided not to enforce federal law, the DOJ actively works against the states' fight against illegal immigration. Apparently you dont like these truths, but that doesn't change the truthfulness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Paula Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 whoRyou could write for the Onion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UGoLong Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 Good Bill Maher quote from Friday to think about, now several weeks after the first US Ebola case: "So far, Ebola has killed fewer Americans than OJ." [corrected] Planning is good, based on good science. Panic, not so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RichardLPeeA Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 Your thread is bad and you should feel bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator EMEDPA Posted November 3, 2014 Moderator Share Posted November 3, 2014 Good Bill Maher quote from Friday to think about, now several weeks after the first US Ebola case: "So far, Ebola has killed fewer AMERICANS than OJ." Planning is good, based on good science. Panic, not so much. fixed that for you... I've also heard Taylor swift has dumped more guys and made revenge songs about them than the # of Americans who have died of Ebola. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joelseff Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 Or... Or... Or... Kaepernick fumbled the ball more times than ebola's killed Americans... That game sucked last night. #playoffs?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andersenpa Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 I still like this one. We americans know how to prioritize: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whoRyou Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 Indeed we do ^^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UpRegulated Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 TRENTON (The Borowitz Report) — Saying that he was “sick and tired of having my medical credentials questioned,” Governor Chris Christie (R-N.J.) had himself sworn in as a medical doctor on Sunday night. Dr. Christie acknowledged that becoming a doctor generally requires pre-med classes, four years of medical school, plus additional years of residency, but he said that the Ebola epidemic compelled him to take “extraordinary measures, as we say in the medical profession.” Dr. Christie said that, beginning on Monday, he would begin a series of random “house calls” to check New Jersey residents for Ebola and assign them for quarantine. “I can usually diagnose someone with Ebola in under a minute,” Dr. Christie said. “Even faster if I don’t actually see them.” The doctor said that before moving forward with his plan to quarantine scores of New Jersey citizens he suspects of having Ebola, he consulted with other prominent epidemiologists, including Dr. Rick Perry, of Texas. “He concurs,” he said. Dr. Christie defended his quarantine plan against critics, noting that unorthodox procedures in medicine often face opposition at first. “We’re used to hearing that the nurses and doctors who treat Ebola patients are heroes,” he said. “But the real heroes are the people who lock up those heroes.” Sorry folks this is only a satire. I couldn't resist after reading this New "EBOLA CZAR" is not medical ...Does it mater? Umm. Apparently people don't seem to realize that Andrew Cuomo also began quarantines in New York at the exact same time as Christie did and at the exact same press conference. Then again, Christie and Perry are Republicans and Cuomo is a Democrat -- perhaps that's why he gets a pass. Not to mention Jerry Brown and Pat Quinn, also both in states with quarantine policies and also both Democrats. I guess it's only stupid and worthy of satire when Republicans do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andersenpa Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 No I think it's just because regardless of political stripe, Chirstie is a guy who invites satire All politicians are crooked liars but they get extra bonus points when they are funny and bombastic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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