Why are there so many poorly written Personal Statements?

[primadonna22274]

I've stopped reading them. I don't have time for every PA wannabe anymore (sadly) and I read enough lame PS's in my day job during the admissions cycle. In general I agree they have gone way down...if someone can't write a passable PS for their app I throw out the app. I just know they're going to be trouble when it comes to the medical writing part of our curriculum. I spent WAY too much time coaching and re-writing one student's horribly written MPA paper this past winter and have been traumatized. I'll never get those hours back...seriously, shouldn't he have learned how to write in HIGH SCHOOL???

[Firemedic13]

Swoosh!! Fingers missing, blood everywhere! I knew at that moment being a carnival ride operator was not for me. Because of the damage they were only able to sew back on my middle finger and my thumb. Living with my disability, and constantly accidentally giving people the bird was very difficult for me until I met a kindly PA while chewing tobacco outside the hospital during my baby sister's fifteenth delivery. He had him a pretty nice haircut and his shoes looked mighty expensive, but he was alright when I asked him where to get me a motel room. I decided then and there that I was gonna be like him someday.

 

After checking into the Shady-Hills Motel, with my new friend Byron, an ex-con with a bad temper, we decided to find that Physician's assistant with the nice shoes, we were determined to find out exactly what it was that he did, and where he got that great haircut, when suddenly...Byron began to really freak out from the meth and shroom cocktail he had eaten a few hours before. Having just met such an inspiring figure (the PA with the haircut) I immediately knew what to do. I began by shoving frozen food products down Byron's pants, and placed him in the shower. I had heard that you needs to drink 8 glasses of water a day, so I opened his mouth to let the shower water in. Thus begins my extensive health care experience.

 

Well whaddya know, but that PA that I met earlier was there at the hospital when the ambulance drivers took Byron in. Byron was in pretty bad shape and that PA said he had asspirated. I was pretty confused 'cause I thought Byron was really into the ladies. Anyhoos he told me that I needed a college degree if I wanna be a physician's assistant. While listening to the pA, I could hear Byron shouting at the nurses, he had ripped all his IVs, and was lunging at the doctors assistants, before anyone could stop him, Byron had grabbed the hemostats and began to use them like a prison shank, it was then, I really decided if I was a PA I could like totally help Byron with his nasty ex-con temper, maybe I could prescribe him some electroshock therapy or something or some kind of happy pills.

 

Paragraph IV....

 

After they had sedated Byron and taken him to jail I immediately began checking the internets for my future school. I found myself one called "Unaccredited Institution of Really Good School", based in China. For $500 they would provide me with a batchlors degree with a transcript. For an extra $50 they not only gave me a 3.75, all my prequisits, and even told me I was going to cum loudly with my graduation, which sounded pretty exciting!

[Evan]

Iain - if this "PA thing" doesn't work out you should look into comedy... I laughed till I cried...

 

 

Don't be so hard on Byron... after he was tazed that one time outside that one bar in... you remember that one town... He just wasn't right in the head...

[EMSArtist]

Swoosh!! Fingers missing, blood everywhere! I knew at that moment being a carnival ride operator was not for me. Because of the damage they were only able to sew back on my middle finger and my thumb. Living with my disability, and constantly accidentally giving people the bird was very difficult for me until I met a kindly PA while chewing tobacco outside the hospital during my baby sister's fifteenth delivery. He had him a pretty nice haircut and his shoes looked mighty expensive, but he was alright when I asked him where to get me a motel room. I decided then and there that I was gonna be like him someday.

 

After checking into the Shady-Hills Motel, with my new friend Byron, an ex-con with a bad temper, we decided to find that Physician's assistant with the nice shoes, we were determined to find out exactly what it was that he did, and where he got that great haircut, when suddenly...Byron began to really freak out from the meth and shroom cocktail he had eaten a few hours before. Having just met such an inspiring figure (the PA with the haircut) I immediately knew what to do. I began by shoving frozen food products down Byron's pants, and placed him in the shower. I had heard that you needs to drink 8 glasses of water a day, so I opened his mouth to let the shower water in. Thus begins my extensive health care experience.

 

Well whaddya know, but that PA that I met earlier was there at the hospital when the ambulance drivers took Byron in. Byron was in pretty bad shape and that PA said he had asspirated. I was pretty confused 'cause I thought Byron was really into the ladies. Anyhoos he told me that I needed a college degree if I wanna be a physician's assistant. While listening to the pA, I could hear Byron shouting at the nurses, he had ripped all his IVs, and was lunging at the doctors assistants, before anyone could stop him, Byron had grabbed the hemostats and began to use them like a prison shank, it was then, I really decided if I was a PA I could like totally help Byron with his nasty ex-con temper, maybe I could prescribe him some electroshock therapy or something or some kind of happy pills.

 

After they had sedated Byron and taken him to jail I immediately began checking the internets for my future school. I found myself one called "Unaccredited Institution of Really Good School", based in China. For $500 they would provide me with a batchlors degree with a transcript. For an extra $50 they not only gave me a 3.75, all my prequisits, and even told me I was going to cum loudly with my graduation, which sounded pretty exciting! I wondered where I was gonna come up with that kind of money, but it turns out that Byron had packed a little suitcase with meth and had written down a recipe too. So I sold the meth and used the money to buy supplies to make more. After a couple of nice afternoons out in the woods with my backpack full of cooking meth I had me some pretty nice product. I also got me some pretty nifty farmecology experience which will help me in pa school.

[EMEDPA]

emsartist:

I think you win this one. nice essay. and better than some I have read for actual pa school applicants....

[EMEDPA]

primadonna, do you folks read every packet's personal statement, or just the ones that have stats that meet the cutoff?

when I was on the adcom of a pa program we didn't review any packets that didn't meet the min requirements. if it says" you must take microbio before applying" and you haven't then you can't follow directions and don't deserve a shot at pa school that year.

if you can't take the right classes and achieve the min required gpa before you apply than your app is just a waste of your money and the adcom's time. it goes right on the scrap heap.

we read essays of folks who have taken the required courses and made the min gpa when we are deciding who to interview.

if we say " min gpa is 3.0" and you have a 2.75 then your app goes in the trash and you get a rejection letter.

[EMSArtist]

emsartist:

I think you win this one. nice essay. and better than some I have read for actual pa school applicants....

 

I can't take full credit on this one though. FireMedic13 & Iain have contributed equally. It's been a wonderful group effort... hmm... kinda like a lot of other PS's here....

[Iain1028]

Swoosh!! Fingers missing, blood everywhere! I knew at that moment being a carnival ride operator was not for me. Because of the damage they were only able to sew back on my middle finger and my thumb. Living with my disability, and constantly accidentally giving people the bird was very difficult for me until I met a kindly PA while chewing tobacco outside the hospital during my baby sister's fifteenth delivery. He had him a pretty nice haircut and his shoes looked mighty expensive, but he was alright when I asked him where to get me a motel room. I decided then and there that I was gonna be like him someday.

 

After checking into the Shady-Hills Motel, with my new friend Byron, an ex-con with a bad temper, we decided to find that Physician's assistant with the nice shoes, we were determined to find out exactly what it was that he did, and where he got that great haircut, when suddenly...Byron began to really freak out from the meth and shroom cocktail he had eaten a few hours before. Having just met such an inspiring figure (the PA with the haircut) I immediately knew what to do. I began by shoving frozen food products down Byron's pants, and placed him in the shower. I had heard that you needs to drink 8 glasses of water a day, so I opened his mouth to let the shower water in. Thus begins my extensive health care experience.

 

Well whaddya know, but that PA that I met earlier was there at the hospital when the ambulance drivers took Byron in. Byron was in pretty bad shape and that PA said he had asspirated. I was pretty confused 'cause I thought Byron was really into the ladies. Anyhoos he told me that I needed a college degree if I wanna be a physician's assistant. While listening to the pA, I could hear Byron shouting at the nurses, he had ripped all his IVs, and was lunging at the doctors assistants, before anyone could stop him, Byron had grabbed the hemostats and began to use them like a prison shank, it was then, I really decided if I was a PA I could like totally help Byron with his nasty ex-con temper, maybe I could prescribe him some electroshock therapy or something or some kind of happy pills.

 

After they had sedated Byron and taken him to jail I immediately began checking the internets for my future school. I found myself one called "Unaccredited Institution of Really Good School", based in China. For $500 they would provide me with a batchlors degree with a transcript. For an extra $50 they not only gave me a 3.75, all my prequisits, and even told me I was going to cum loudly with my graduation, which sounded pretty exciting! I wondered where I was gonna come up with that kind of money, but it turns out that Byron had packed a little suitcase with meth and had written down a recipe too. So I sold the meth and used the money to buy supplies to make more. After a couple of nice afternoons out in the woods with my backpack full of cooking meth I had me some pretty nice product. I also got me some pretty nifty farmecology experience which will help me in pa school.

 

Well, Byron ended up in Sheriff Joe's Tent City for fighting pit bulls, and I got a job doing some stuff in a nursing home while I worked on my application. The on-line school in China took my $500 and they kept asking for more money. So, I am applying to this here school for PA. I would read the Mission Statement but am only familiar with the mission position, so I kinda blew that off. I know, through my criminal adventures and for caring for Byron, I can put a band-aid on better than no one's business. As a PA, I promise to be cool, and I also promise not to blow the money I make as a PA on drugs or Indian Casino Gambling. I may have enough to get Byron and me a nice trailer down by the river when he gets out of Tent City. Oh yeah, almost forgot want to get a really sweet tatoo that says physician's Assistant on my neck after I graduate. If you let me in, I promise to tell Byron, I know he can do some "stuff" on the side to help me get money to live on while in school.

[Firemedic13]

Swoosh!! Fingers missing, blood everywhere! I knew at that moment being a carnival ride operator was not for me. Because of the damage they were only able to sew back on my middle finger and my thumb. Living with my disability, and constantly accidentally giving people the bird was very difficult for me until I met a kindly PA while chewing tobacco outside the hospital during my baby sister's fifteenth delivery. He had him a pretty nice haircut and his shoes looked mighty expensive, but he was alright when I asked him where to get me a motel room. I decided then and there that I was gonna be like him someday.

 

After checking into the Shady-Hills Motel, with my new friend Byron, an ex-con with a bad temper, we decided to find that Physician's assistant with the nice shoes, we were determined to find out exactly what it was that he did, and where he got that great haircut, when suddenly...Byron began to really freak out from the meth and shroom cocktail he had eaten a few hours before. Having just met such an inspiring figure (the PA with the haircut) I immediately knew what to do. I began by shoving frozen food products down Byron's pants, and placed him in the shower. I had heard that you needs to drink 8 glasses of water a day, so I opened his mouth to let the shower water in. Thus begins my extensive health care experience.

 

Well whaddya know, but that PA that I met earlier was there at the hospital when the ambulance drivers took Byron in. Byron was in pretty bad shape and that PA said he had asspirated. I was pretty confused 'cause I thought Byron was really into the ladies. Anyhoos he told me that I needed a college degree if I wanna be a physician's assistant. While listening to the pA, I could hear Byron shouting at the nurses, he had ripped all his IVs, and was lunging at the doctors assistants, before anyone could stop him, Byron had grabbed the hemostats and began to use them like a prison shank, it was then, I really decided if I was a PA I could like totally help Byron with his nasty ex-con temper, maybe I could prescribe him some electroshock therapy or something or some kind of happy pills.

 

After they had sedated Byron and taken him to jail I immediately began checking the internets for my future school. I found myself one called "Unaccredited Institution of Really Good School", based in China. For $500 they would provide me with a batchlors degree with a transcript. For an extra $50 they not only gave me a 3.75, all my prequisits, and even told me I was going to cum loudly with my graduation, which sounded pretty exciting! I wondered where I was gonna come up with that kind of money, but it turns out that Byron had packed a little suitcase with meth and had written down a recipe too. So I sold the meth and used the money to buy supplies to make more. After a couple of nice afternoons out in the woods with my backpack full of cooking meth I had me some pretty nice product. I also got me some pretty nifty farmecology experience which will help me in pa school.

 

Well, Byron ended up in Sheriff Joe's Tent City for fighting pit bulls, and I got a job doing some stuff in a nursing home while I worked on my application. The on-line school in China took my $500 and they kept asking for more money. So, I am applying to this here school for PA. I would read the Mission Statement but am only familiar with the mission position, so I kinda blew that off. I know, through my criminal adventures and for caring for Byron, I can put a band-aid on better than no one's business. As a PA, I promise to be cool, and I also promise not to blow the money I make as a PA on drugs or Indian Casino Gambling. I may have enough to get Byron and me a nice trailer down by the river when he gets out of Tent City. Oh yeah, almost forgot want to get a really sweet tatoo that says physician's Assistant on my neck after I graduate. If you let me in, I promise to tell Byron, I know he can do some "stuff" on the side to help me get money to live on while in school.

 

If I didn't have a reputation to think about I would be SOOOOO tempted to send this in as my essay. I seriously thought about it for 10 minutes.

[primadonna22274]

Every chart is pre-screened by the admissions committee secretaries. We only review apps that are 1) complete and 2) meet minimum standards. Still, there is a wide range of talent in those that meet the minimum standards. We don't participate in CASPA but still a lot of stuff to wade through.

[EMEDPA]

sometimes though the prescreeners count things as experience that actaully don't count so those go on the slag heap as well.

"medical secretary" x 5 yrs...sorry, that's still zero hrs.....

[EMEDPA]

these days it seems the trend is to send less and less of the zero experience packets to the slag heap. Of course, I'm a med tech so maybe you think I should be on the heap as well. Medex told me that they are cool with us. Do you think our aps get a good look?

 

do you mean med tech as in lab or as in emt or ?

in general I prefer folks with more direct hands on experience than lab techs but I know some places count this as experience.

medical assts, er techs, medics, resp. therapists, military corpsman, rn's and lvn's, etc seem to be the best candidates overall.

[Guest guthriesm]

PAMAC - excellent point about it really depends on the lab. I work in one and because I am the exact opposite of the lady you mentioned (I love people) it has gotten me promoted into administration. Try getting direct patient experience when writing policies! I spent a total of 2.5 years working bench- thankfully most of that in a small hospital that gave me TONS of phleb experience so at least I have > 2k hands on. The rest have all been behind a desk.

[Guest tylermac]

i think another good question to ask along side this one is how can we better help in the revision process for those who post their PS on this forum?

[Firemedic13]

i think another good question to ask along side this one is how can we better help in the revision process for those who post their PS on this forum?

 

Easy, in 6 steps:

 

1. Take english 101 if you haven't already.

2. Write a PS. Edit.

3. Don't post your PS here.

4. Make friends with an english major. Have them read your PS for grammar, style, and flow. Edit.

5. Make friends with one (or preferably more) PAs. Have them read your PS for content. Edit.

6. Read the PSs people put up here. Look for someone here who gives advice you like. PM them. Edit.

 

Done.

[Guest tylermac]

Fire, those are some definitely valid points, especially step 5 and 6. I think another thing that could help some people out would be to see if the college they are attending (or at least one in the area if they are already post-grad) has some kind of writer's workshop or writing center. At Umass we have a writing center where you can bring your assignment and the people there will help you throughout the entire writing process. And although the people working there may not be fully aware of what to put for a PA personal statement, if you explained what PA's do I think they could definitely give you some good ideas and help you at least formulate an outline. Not to say that people on this forum don't have the ability to edit personal statements and don't have good ideas, but I think that everyone on here has realized that people on this forum can be somewhat crass when reviewing other's personal statements and I feel like that could discourage some other potential posters from actually putting out their work.

[MCHAD]

Our english department had so many people asking for help with personal statements for professional programs that they actually called a lot of programs (medical, dental, PA) and asked them what they look for in a personal statement. They were able to give some great advice!

[Guest tylermac]

i also just read an article about writing personal statements that seemed like it would be really helpful for those people who may be stuck on what to focus on when writing. The article expressed the idea that like the essay we all wrote as part of our undergrad applications, it must ultimately grab the attention of the committee member/s who are reading it, as well as portray yourself as a qualified candidate for attendance (so although you may benefit by writing something original that grabs the reader's attention, it can't be entirely ridiculous and off topic).

 

This quote from the article I thought was actually really helpful in providing some good qualities about yourself you may want to attempt to portray about yourself and at least partially focus on within your essay. "Admissions officers are looking for specific soft skills such as sincerity, maturity, empathy, compassion and motivation in your essay. Because these qualities are not easily quantified, and therefore not easily demonstrated through grades and numbers, your essay is among your first and only opportunities to showcase them."

 

Here is the link to the full article.

Before You Write Your Personal Statement, Read This | Student Doctor Network

I know it is about those applying to med school, but if you substitute the words med school with PA school and doctor with PA, I think this article could be really helpful for those stuck on these seemingly tricky personal statements.

[Guest guthriesm]

I agree with Fire except I got about 15 people to edit mine. One other tip- have one editor at a time so you can keep drafts straight.

 

PAMAC- I loved bench work at the small hospital (I was a full generalist) but found that I am darn good at the details required for running stuff rather than being the complete bottom of the totem pole. One day in said small hospital- Surgeon cut the aorta (you read this correctly) - >60 blood products later patient stabilized (emergency brought in units); meanwhile Triple A (abdominal aortic aneurysm) comes in via ER (>15 products). Then the N. meningitidis patient comes next (here comes the Cipro!) all on 2nd shift AND our only phleb called out. Welcome to HE-double hockey sticks. Did I mention this was NOT a trauma hospital? Did I also mention on 2 people work 2nd shift (two day shifters did stick out and help for a while though).

[thebestnacho]

I asked a few very good English professors I had and they were very willing to help and offered some insight

[CJKitty]

I've been reading these statements ever since I registered, and I am so thankful that finally someone is asking "why post them in public at all?" It always baffled me how people could put their thoughts out there and never worry about complete strangers cherry-picking from them.

 

As for the lack of emphasis on writing, here's a depressing anecdote: I only had to take two writing courses in my undergrad career (2005-2009), one of which I actually tested out of through AP exams in high school, and the other was specifically for scientific writing and not true English composition. Looking back, I really wish I had taken an extra class or two because I know it would have benefited me greatly in the long run. I've never received much criticism for my writing, but part of me always worries that people are simply blowing smoke up my a**. I could have used a few more Iains in my life. ;)

 

However, I am completely in favor of every one of these awful statements being submitted to as many programs as possible. :) I am in competition with them, after all...

[Guest boka52]

Ask any high school English teacher and he/she will tell you that high school students by and large do not read; consequently, they are poor writers. If you really want to get depressed read some high school essays...lower literacy amounts to lower writing skills.

[2livecrews]

How can someone trying to get into PA school not get several people to proofread their essay. That is common sense.

[just_me]

Wow this thread is still going...way to go Iain :-)

[andersenpa]

I didn't, as I'm sure many PAs didn't either, esp in the pre-internet era.

When you sit down for the interview, you either know how to talk about the profession and yourself or not.

When you sit for the PANRE, you either know the material or not.

When you write your PS, you either know how to write or not. Word programs have spell and grammar checks. You don't need more than that.