Why are there so many poorly written Personal Statements?

[Iain1028]

No, really. I have never seen so many poorly written essays as of late in my life.

 

What gives?

[rev ronin]

My thought is the raw number of applicants posting statements is increasing, with the attendant variances in quality.

 

Second thought is that there's pseudonymity here, so people can post things that suck and there's no downside: they may get ignored, ridiculed, or may get not-specifically-helpful feedback ("scrap this and start over!"), but there's nothing any of the volunteer reviewers do which will hurt their admissions chances. It's kind of like email spam, really: applicants don't have to do anything special to post a draft PS, so there's no disincentive.

 

I'm getting about 2 more full statements PM'ed to me each day, which I in no way have the time to look at and respond to in depth. I have no good feel for whether or not they're better in general than what's posted in public.

[Iain1028]

Good point, from now on I am requiring a $25 Starbucks gift card before I help people. Hey Lewis and Associates charges like $600!!

 

Rev, I think you are right, I wish I could have added that in my poll. I didn't even think of that.....

 

Some of these PS are at a 6th grade level (or lower). Yikes!

[rev ronin]

Eh, actually, you have several very good reasons listed... I was torn between #3 and #5 when forced to pick just one... Although #2 and #3 are mostly just the same thing worded differently. :-)

[Iain1028]

I find it intersting when some people get mad and defensive when you give your advise, that is a red flag for not taking cricism well, and that will not serve them well as an applicant in PA school and esp. in clinicals.

 

Hey can we get CMEs for helping with PS?

[EMSArtist]

I find I actually can't vote.

I can't decide which of the options I blame the most.

I can say that if their undergraduate standards are anything like my current school, these essays would probably be in the C+ to B+ range. Not A work, but passing grades, and these are the grades for 200-300 level English classes!

[Iain1028]

Passing grades? Your kidding? As an English Major who has taken 400 level English classes, I am disturbed by the caliber of some of these so called personal statements.

 

For schizzle my nizzle...

[rudypa]

Iain, you do have an especially hilarious knack for initial critiques! I love it.

 

1. Dullsville, population 1

2. Have you taken Eng 101/102

3. I totally hate it

 

And my all time favorite: you writing your own pilot response just a short while ago, ending:

 

"Later that night, the applicant looked at his submitted personal statement on his computer, at first he began to chuckle softly, which became a rip roaring laugh in no time, but for some reason, tears began to flow. They would not stop flowing. At was at this moment, he realized, his PS was really bad and he should have listened to the nice people on the PA forum."

[akele7]

Iain, I would just warn students if they want your advice, you will not sugar coat it. I mean if people are bad at taking criticism, then you also have to ask how are they going to do in interview when their ADCOM and very intimidating and trying to see how they will handle pressure?? You look at PS more than I do, but I will start having to give my two cents.

 

PS I knew you posted this just looking at the title!

[rev ronin]

I think sometimes we (collectively) as reviewers mistake being nice with being kind. It's not kind to say "oh, that's lovely" because it is essentially hurting the applicants' opportunities to improve their essays and improve their admissions chances... but it is nice. Honest feedback is the best thing to give, although rarely the nicest.

 

One other principle I use in giving reviews is that people will only take about 3 suggestions or corrections--more than that is unhelpful. (Of course, if you're a computer programmer, you only look at the first error message, because all the others are likely cascading errors, but essays aren't programs.) If they need more than three improvements or so, I usually give a few and then say "and then bring it back" or "and go run it by some other people you know who have good editing skills", much like discharge instructions. I do actually do word-by-word reviews if someone has a great essay that doesn't need any structural rewrites, but those are rare.

[EMSArtist]

Iain- I'm not kidding. It hurts me not to sugar coat it for you, but I'm serious. These essays would pass.

 

Last fall I took English 220- Basically an essay writing class, and this was the quality of writing I saw on the last day of class. It was pitiful, and I know that only 2 people got below a C. It made the A mean a lot less.

[thinkertdm]

Two words: facebook. That, plus as more people apply, then general quality will drop.

[just_me]

I read a couple when I first started posting (not as many then as there are now) never would critique them though--with a few it would have been easier just to re-write them.

 

I cant speak for everyone but the issue that I had when writing my PS is that I am more of a technical writer--I can write research papers and the like with no problem at all but ask me to do some sort of creative writing project and we have a problem; when reading a research paper it can come off as mechanical but a personal statement should not and it took a few drafts to overcome this.

 

Back to the board though--Im amazed so many people post here for strangers to read their PS; if I ever chose to post mine it would be what I felt was the final copy. The PS that I wrote when through several drafts, then my family and friends, then my English professor, and finally the campus Provost as well as the honors program director. So why are they so bad? I dont think people realize the level at which they need to be--this isnt freshman comp and for many comp I and II were all that they had that required free thinking and not technical writing like research writing, people are posting that first copy that they really didnt put any thought into counting on someone to shape it for them (less work); they really have no idea how to even write/compose a PS, trying to fit in too much with too little space and/or they are simply average writers and you as the 4000 level English major are just expecting too much from average writers (its similar to how a Professor with a PhD in Chem might be frustrated with intro to chem students "not getting it")

 

Like I said...I havent read or critiqued any PS (well one--and I refuse to do it again) so Im not sure just how bad they are, but if they make your eyes bleed just stop reading them and spare yourself the pain :-)

[Iain1028]

Good point, especially about the hard sciences for some students.

 

I know everyone can't be a great writer, but at the very least, after graduating from a 4 year university, they should be able to formulate a logical, well thought out, 4-5 paragraph essay, no?

 

Akele, yes please.....

[MCHAD]

I gave up on telling people not to post their statements in public...they just don't listen

[just_me]

That is one of the reasons I would not post my PS......I read that comment on here many moons ago

[bradtPA]

I make it a policy to not review PS on the forum. It should be personalized and written in their own style, not in mine. My only advice is if it reads like a bad soap opera you probably should redo it;).

[just_me]

True.......

 

The issues that I have seen from the few that I had read were people trying to fit too much within the limits of CASPA space, proper organization and both of those mess with the overall flow of the paper

--when you try to touch on everything but you have limits on length it can really jumble up everything

 

I think if people could write without limits their PS would turn out a bit better....maybe

 

Good point, especially about the hard sciences for some students.

 

I know everyone can't be a great writer, but at the very least, after graduating from a 4 year university, they should be able to formulate a logical, well thought out, 4-5 page essay, no?

 

Akele, yes please.....

[just_me]

I make it a policy to not review PS on the forum. It should be personalized and written in their own style, not in mine. My only advice is if it reads like a bad soap opera you probably should redo it;).

 

why? everyone likes a little romance, drama, suspense and rising from the dead :)

[rev ronin]

I think if people could write without limits their PS would turn out a bit better....maybe

You would think so, but I disagree. In the struggle to fit 38 years of my life into 3700ish characters last year, I had to cut out a lot of great material, and in the process decide what was in or out was a character-building experience. Now, I see people with 5,000 characters and nothing to say, and several thousand extra characters to do it in. I think anything more than 1000 characters +100 characters per year of life is probably too much for most people. :-)

 

As far as not posting PS'es... I dunno. I did not post mine for much of the same reason as has been cited, but at the same time, the truly excellent statements like this one stand out so much that no one who didn't "own" that statement could actually use it. Cribbing from personal statements seems... like using a "found" tooth brush, you know? Even if I need one and there's an unclaimed one in the lost-and-found, no way would I ever want to appropriate something that's not originally mine for that purpose.

[just_me]

Im not a sappy writer plus there's no sappy story for why I want to be a PA :-)

 

What I found disturbing is that almost every PS that I read (mind you I admit to reading only a few) writers state that there was something wrong with them, they went to their MD and they met a PA who was really nice and comforting and that's why they want to be a PA.........seriously? They were nice to you (like any provider should be) so thats why you want to be a PA?!?! I can see a medical condition and learning about it making a person want to become involved in medicine but there has to be more to a person choosing a profession than a person being nice and comforting. If thats all it takes then I should be a cashier at Chik fil a----they are always nice to me and very understanding. if i chose my profession based on how people treated me I would stay far away from medicine because I have met MDs, RNs and a PA or two that were royal @!$#%#$^%$^ (fill in the blank)

 

I think some of the PS are crappy because people are writing what they think the ADCOM wants to hear. There are people that dont want to state their true reasons for wanting to be a PA or their true inspirations and they come up with something that they feel sounds good because they think or someone else thinks it sounds right. There are those that feel that their inspiration has to be dramatic.

a

[mdebord]

I never posted my PS on here either for the same reason: You can never be too careful with intellectual property. It would be amusing if someone did try to rip it off though. The first question I got in one interview was "So, tell me more about Panama!" They'd be busted. Also, I used other resources at my disposal for review - mentors, English majors, the school career center. If more applicants did that, they would at least have the grammar fixed (I hope).

 

Sadly, to graduate from college, a person only needs one or two English classes. Mine were a joke. As a science major, I was required to write many research papers for upper level classes, but some schools have looser standards.

[istat2]

Iain, I would just warn students if they want your advice, you will not sugar coat it. I mean if people are bad at taking criticism, then you also have to ask how are they going to do in interview when their ADCOM and very intimidating and trying to see how they will handle pressure?? You look at PS more than I do, but I will start having to give my two cents.

 

PS I knew you posted this just looking at the title!

 

LOL. Anyone who has read Iain on this board understand that he doesn't sugarcoat anything.

[just_me]

You would think so, but I disagree. In the struggle to fit 38 years of my life into 3700ish characters last year, I had to cut out a lot of great material, and in the process decide what was in or out was a character-building experience. Now, I see people with 5,000 characters and nothing to say, and several thousand extra characters to do it in. I think anything more than 1000 characters +100 characters per year of life is probably too much for most people. :-) True.....and you know what they say about giving one too much rope.......

 

As far as not posting PS'es... I dunno. I did not post mine for much of the same reason as has been cited, but at the same time, the truly excellent statements like this one stand out so much that no one who didn't "own" that statement could actually use it. Cribbing from personal statements seems... like using a "found" tooth brush, you know? Even if I need one and there's an unclaimed one in the lost-and-found, no way would I ever want to appropriate something that's not originally mine for that purpose.

 

Prior to finding this board I had applied to a few 5-6 year programs...later I found this forum. At that time there were only a few statements being posted but I never thought about posting mine. Shortly after joining this forum I was accepted to many of the 5-6 year programs that I applied to and thats hard as a transfer student because seats are limited. After some things that I read here and also a few personal reasons I decided to finish my BS and then apply directly to the professional phases.....even then I still didnt think about posting my PS....just didnt seem like a good idea....plus it was good enough to get me in quite a few programs so........

[EMEDPA]

you missed an important option:

" it's hard to write about why you should get into pa school if your only "experience" is shadowing an ortho pa for 8 hrs and volunteering at the juice and cookies booth at a blood drive once".