TarheelGirlx3 Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 Any thoughts from those that have done it? Obviously only 1 spouse would be working (realistically speaking). Me and my boyfriend are in a committed relationship and I keep pushing off marriage until after I (hopefully) finish PA school, but it seems that so many people these days do it and it works. So, advise against it? especially if there is no need to go ahead and be married? Or is it totally doable? Thanks guys! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SopranoKris Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 I see no difference between being in a committed relationship or being married. Either way, you're going to be so busy with PA school that you're not going to have much time to spend alone together. I wouldn't try to plan a wedding while you're actually in PA school. So, if you're going to take the plunge, do it before you start. I just got married a little over 6 months ago. Nothing's changed, I'm still as busy with school as I was before we got married (finishing pre-reqs). My husband knows that if/when I get in to PA school, I'm not going to be home that much. And when I am, my nose is going to be in my books. Do what you feel is best for your situation. Can your boyfriend handle not having your undivided attention? It's important to honestly know the answer to this. If he isn't going to be happy, your marriage isn't going to be happy. If he's OK with it, then you'll be fine :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TarheelGirlx3 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Share Posted April 3, 2013 Thanks! :) Exactly what I was thinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UGoLong Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 I echo SopranoKris. Three people in my class were married at the start -- one just before school started. Two more got married after their didactic year. At least one of the women who got married after graduation failed the PANCE the first time out because of trying to plan the wedding. If you can, get married first. It will be more enjoyable. I felt that, while there was a lot of work during the didactic year, there was still time for married life on the weekends most of the time. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
briepm Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 My now husband and I got married about 8 months before PA school started - I am so happy that all of the planning and everything was done well in advance of school starting. I would definitely recommend NOT planning a wedding during PA school! (but before, go for it!) :;-D: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SopranoKris Posted April 3, 2013 Share Posted April 3, 2013 [quote name=UGoLong;385020I felt that' date=' while there was a lot of work during the didactic year, there was still time for married life on the weekends most of the time. Good luck![/quote] That makes me feel better about going to PA school :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torshi Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 The best thing to always do is marry after your education, that doesn't mean one can't accomplish their plans and everything beforehand during school, but the general consensus is just wait till after school and get everything over with, I guarantee the wedding will be more exciting and worthwhile knowing you have succeeded and on top of marrying someone you love. It's a double-win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whoRyou Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 FWIW, just have a good support system regardless if it is your future hubby or otherwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavender19 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Do what you feel is right. I am sort of in the same dilemma. I just got engaged and will be moving in with my fiancé. However, I cannot afford any health or dental insurance. But, if I get married now I can receive full benefits because of the job my fiancé has. Like you, I would prefer to get married after I finish PA school but it may be best for me to get married. The way I look at it is you're going to get married anyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marktheshark89 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 The best thing to always do is marry after your education, that doesn't mean one can't accomplish their plans and everything beforehand during school, but the general consensus is just wait till after school and get everything over with, I guarantee the wedding will be more exciting and worthwhile knowing you have succeeded and on top of marrying someone you love. It's a double-win. coming from a 19 year old ^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nj10 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 The best thing to always do is marry after your education, that doesn't mean one can't accomplish their plans and everything beforehand during school, but the general consensus is just wait till after school and get everything over with, I guarantee the wedding will be more exciting and worthwhile knowing you have succeeded and on top of marrying someone you love. It's a double-win. I would not say the general consensus is that its better to wait. While this may be true for you, I'm certain many people would disagree. Everyone's circumstances are different, and what's best for one person may be different from someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenmood Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Yah.. watch it with the generalizations and comparisons, especially from people who don't have the experience to know what they're talking about. I got married during my didactic year. What I tell people now (when they ask) is that you should know yourself and what you want out of your wedding. If you are the kind of person who wants to be SUPER involved in every element of planning and execution, getting married when you know you will have a ton of distractions and stressors (PA school, or other life events) is probably not going to make you happy. If you're like me and happy with a more relaxed approach, it will probably be fine. I did all the planning, but was also very comfortable delegating smaller tasks to my immediate family. And I trusted them enough to not be constantly micromanaging. This allowed me to look forward to my wedding and have plenty of time to enjoy the build-up without sacrificing study time. We had several students in my year marry on the break between first and second year, one who got married during clinical year, and even more are getting married after school. To each his/her own. There is no one who can decide what is best for you, but you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TarheelGirlx3 Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 Thanks @greenmood, that was helpful. I just worry about financial issues, since working in PA school is basically impossible. I wonder how I would live on my own off of loans, etc because I won't have any parent support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenmood Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 Also, lavender19, look into the options for domestic partner benefits at your fiance's workplace. I signed my now-husband up as my domestic partner three years before we got engaged and he was able to share my excellent insurance for that entire time. A lot of companies that have the means have a very loose definition of domestic partnership, so it might not be as hard as you think to get it. As far as I know, you do have to be living together though and have some proof of a shared financial burden - IE, you rely on each other to pay rent, you have a joint checking account, or your names are both on a car lease. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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