AvaMax Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 I am hoping that some of you with children will be able to give me some feedback on your experiences so far. I am 30, married with no children and currently taking the pre-reqs to get to apply for PA school. My husband and I contemplated getting started on having a baby, well trying to have a baby this year (via IVF) but then I felt it would be easier after PA school. I seem to go back and forth about whether or not we should wait or have a baby now and then go back to school. I think it would be easier to wait given all the dynamics that come into play with a new baby. We don't have much family where we are so childcare is an issue and will be around $1200-$1600 per month. I want to have the least amount of expenses while in PA school and it just seems that a baby would not push me towards that goal. I am looking for thoughts from those that went through PA school with a new baby/toddler etc Is it doable? Also, from those that waited, do you have regrets? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator rev ronin Posted January 15, 2011 Administrator Share Posted January 15, 2011 IVF? At age 30? Not that I'm in any position to make predictions about reproductive health, but if things aren't working "right" at 30, resuming efforts at 34-35 does not bode well for success, statistically speaking. I also count two other assumptions in your post: * You get into PA school where you are currently. This is a big, big assumption--many people do not get into their "first choice" PA program, and many people who geographically restrict their applications never get into PA school at all. * Your husband doesn't leave you during PA school. While this is certainly not the norm, PA school is stressful on any marriage. Per my anecdotal observations, I would say that it tends to be harder on wives than on husbands and harder on mothers than fathers. PA school and parenthood are two of the most stressful things you can do with your life "on purpose". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvaMax Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 Do you have children? Are you married? Age has nothing to do with the reasons we will need to go through IVF and I will leave it at that. If my husband leaves me during PA school or for any other reason, financially I will be fine as I have a great career I would be able to fall back into should that ever become necessary plus I have 3 years worth of an emergency fund money saved up. But my husband leaving me is something I am hardly concerned about as we fully understand the pressures and demands ahead of us. Location-Either way, location wise I am fine based on where I am applying as I have a broad range of locations based on where we have family members residing. I am not stuck on getting into any one school or being in a specific location. Sure it would be great to get in where we are now but if I get into school in another state then I am perfectly fine with that as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bcstout Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Hi! I graduated from PA school last May and I was married with 3 children. (we also had our 4th child 1 week after graduation.) I would guess (since I am not female) that being pregnant will give you additional difficulties that you would have to deal with (morning sickness, GERD, etc) but something you could do if thats what you guys really want. One of the PAs in our faculty had a child while she was in PA school and she did get through obviously. I would say the real difficulty would be when your child is born. It is such a special moment and that newborn NEEDs its mommy the first few months in life. That would be the hard part. One suggestion would be to get pregnant the 2nd year and have your child near the end of PA school. Good Luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvaMax Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 Hi! I graduated from PA school last May and I was married with 3 children. (we also had our 4th child 1 week after graduation.) I would guess (since I am not female) that being pregnant will give you additional difficulties that you would have to deal with (morning sickness, GERD, etc) but something you could do if thats what you guys really want. One of the PAs in our faculty had a child while she was in PA school and she did get through obviously. I would say the real difficulty would be when your child is born. It is such a special moment and that newborn NEEDs its mommy the first few months in life. That would be the hard part. One suggestion would be to get pregnant the 2nd year and have your child near the end of PA school. Good Luck! Right now, that is the plan, to get pregnant during the last half of the 2nd year of PA school. I would never get pregnant during PA school as I don't know that I could manage PA school and a new born. Thanks for the reply! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marilynpac Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 I would wait but that's my opinion. I had two small children while in school and it was only added stress. You hope everything will be quiet while your in school and that may not be the case. Something may come up that requires your 100% attention. Just b/c your baby isn't a newborn doesn't mean toddlers and young children don't require a lot of time and attention. If you have an excellent support system with a lot of helpers then that will help a lot. I didn't and it was very tough indeed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator rev ronin Posted January 15, 2011 Administrator Share Posted January 15, 2011 Do you have children? Are you married? Yep, three of 'em, but all well between diapers and driving. I would NOT want to be in school with kids in diapers, but 4 peers in my class (2 men, 2 women) have preschool age kids at home, and they're all doing fine. Age has nothing to do with the reasons we will need to go through IVF and I will leave it at that. Fair enough. I strongly recommend against being pregnant while job-hunting. While you can intellectually say, "I wouldn't want to work anywhere that would discriminate against me on the basis of my family status", the fact is that even places that wouldn't refuse to hire you outright will know they can lowball you on offers because you will have much lower marketability. Do not let the fact that it's illegal lull you into thinking that discrimination against pregnant women doesn't happen on a daily basis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvaMax Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 At the end of the day I would not work some where that discriminated against me for being pregnant, simple as that. Ideally I would take the time off to have the baby, take the PANCE and then jump back in to the job market. Or *gasp* get a job while I am pregnant and the employer actually be fine with it. Happens everyday :=) While I am well aware of the discrimination issues out there ie race, gender, age, class etc I don't buy into it being competent in my work as I am and thus far in my career I've been fine. I will not walk into every interview thinking..hmmmm they may not like me because I am a woman of child bearing age.... or...well I am a woman AND I Asian...double stacks against me. Or whatever other discrimination folks conjure up. If an employer functions in this manner then it is best for me not to work with them at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discogenic Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 How long will it take you to complete your pre-reqs? If you are a couple of years away, then I'd lean toward getting pregnant pre-PA school. If PA school is right around the corner, I'd wait until after PA school. Med school would be a lot different, as you'd be looking at 7+ years. But with PA being 2 years, I'd wait. I haven't been through PA school, but from what everyone says about the demands of PA school, along with my own experiences of having been through two graduate-level programs, having a newborn or young infant upon entering into PA school will be a real challenge. Not impossible, I'm sure, but challenging. I have two small kids myself, so I know how much time and attention they require and how much time you'll want to give them. I had the luxury of being single and without kids when I did my prior schooling. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvaMax Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 How long will it take you to complete your pre-reqs? If you are a couple of years away, then I'd lean toward getting pregnant pre-PA school. If PA school is right around the corner, I'd wait until after PA school. Med school would be a lot different, as you'd be looking at 7+ years. But with PA being 2 years, I'd wait. I haven't been through PA school, but from what everyone says about the demands of PA school, along with my own experiences of having been through two graduate-level programs, having a newborn or young infant upon entering into PA school will be a real challenge. Not impossible, I'm sure, but challenging. I have two small kids myself, so I know how much time and attention they require and how much time you'll want to give them. I had the luxury of being single and without kids when I did my prior schooling. Good luck. You're right. This is why I did not have kids during my other graduate studies. I am applying this year to the schools that will take my application with my pre-reqs as is. Some require more so it will take until 2012=Spring to finish up. I will be done with enough to apply to at least my top choices this year and if I don't get it then I will be ready the following application cycle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SocialMedicine Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Clinical clerkships while pregnant sound especially challenging. Also, check school policy regarding absence. Some have strict rules where if you miss more than a few days on any rotation/clerkship it is a repeat. This means when you have a delivery you might have to repeat whatever rotatiosn that my influence. This adds to tuition cost and time in school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdenning Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Definitely wouldn't advise being pregnant while in PA school especially when you think about doing rotations and weird hours and being exposed to sick people and who knows what else. But having kids before and after PA school shouldn't be that big a deal as long as you plan well and have a supportive spouse and family. My son was a year old when I started PA school, and then I had my second about a year after graduating. I got my current job while I was pregnant but was very clear about working part time. You should think about child care first though before applying for a demanding full time position with call - that might be pretty difficult. One of the hardest things for us was figuring out how to pay for everything - school tuition, mortgage, and full time child care - on one income. My marriage certainly survived, and I don't think it hurts my kids a bit to see their Mom working. You and your husband should come up with a game plan though, and stick to it. I assume you're already sure you want to be a PA.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessings!! Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Don't get pregnant during PA school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvaMax Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 Definitely wouldn't advise being pregnant while in PA school especially when you think about doing rotations and weird hours and being exposed to sick people and who knows what else. But having kids before and after PA school shouldn't be that big a deal as long as you plan well and have a supportive spouse and family. My son was a year old when I started PA school, and then I had my second about a year after graduating. I got my current job while I was pregnant but was very clear about working part time. You should think about child care first though before applying for a demanding full time position with call - that might be pretty difficult. One of the hardest things for us was figuring out how to pay for everything - school tuition, mortgage, and full time child care - on one income. My marriage certainly survived, and I don't think it hurts my kids a bit to see their Mom working. You and your husband should come up with a game plan though, and stick to it. I assume you're already sure you want to be a PA.... Great points! Thank you! This is excellent advice and insight. We aren't too concerned with paying for everything on one income. We can as we've done it before but with the expenses that a child brings into the equation, depending on where we end up for PA school it might change things a bit but not by much. If we move up North we would have family there but if we stay where we are then childcare will run around $1600 a month which is another mortgage payment. Then of course there are other child related expenses as well. I can't get pregnant during PA school even if we tried naturally so Im not concerned about that LOL Right now we are leaning towards getting pregnant when I am done with rotations and like you said working PT and then ramping back up FT after the baby is born. I actually forgot that you can do that, work PT as a PA... or maybe even 3 -12 hour shifts and have 4 days off for the rest of the week? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debtooker Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 I am in the minority here, but I had a small child when I was in PA school. It was stressful, because the hours my husband worked left me as a single parent most evenings. Cost was also a factor, but I think I am a BETTER PA for having a child. I was not intimidated by pediatrics and I feel I can relate to my adult patients better. I worked harder and was more focused than most of my non-child bearing classmates. I got in a small study group of moms, and we were very, very efficient because we had to go home and take care of our little ones. I did very little socializing. I missed almost all of our class social activities. My thought is, if you are still just working on pre-reqs, do it now. That way, your child will be older when you finally start PA school. But, if socializing is very important to you, maybe it is better to wait. There's just not enough time for school, family, and friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator EMEDPA Posted January 16, 2011 Moderator Share Posted January 16, 2011 waited until 6 yrs after pa school for the first really good "stable job" that we knew I would stick with. before that we were bouncing all over the country living in crappy apts., paying off debt, driving long commutes(63 miles one way) every day to work, and generally just working to get through to the next stage... my wife did grad school right after I did pa school so that put a break on things for a while as well. as soon as she was done with school we moved to another state, bought a house and started talking seriously about it....several pets later we decided it was time...fish to cats to dogs to kids... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GREATMDPA Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 How much is IVF? I heard it's somewhere around $30K? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guthriesm Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 IVF has a huge cost and an even higher failure rate. It isn't something that one can depend on, it is something used as a final resort. Each round costs between $5-10,000 and most patients undergo multiple treatments before having a successful pregnancy (if at all). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milileno Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Which year did you get pregnant in PA school? Was it your first or second year? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Savage Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I have 5 kids (4,5,6,9,12) and my life is crazy... but it is doable. You can kiss your social life and hobbies goodbye. I get about 4 hours of sleep a day. Maybe 6 on the weekends. I only get about 1 hour of freetime per day. I do 4 hours a night of homework after the kids go to bed so I can keep my weekends as free as possible. Then if there is a project or midterms/finals, i either have to tranquilize all my kids (and wife) or leave and go to the library. I am sure I will go bald by the end of all this =) One thing my clinical interviewer said was for my wife not to get pregnant. That I will be gone for most my clinical rotations and pregnancy is very hard on the wives and students. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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