StephanieLynn Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 I've never been an anxious person. My motto used to be "The universe tends to unfold as it should." Really, I lived by that for 20 years. I enjoyed every bit of college: the hard work, late nights studying, the sweet taste of a well-deserved A, and even the bitter sting of a bad grade, followed by the resolve to work even harder. I never stressed much before, but this? This application process? This stresses me out and gives me anxiety like nothing I've ever experienced. I'm used to feeling like I'm in control of my success or my failure. If there's something I want, I go out and I work hard and I get it. Of course during the off-season, it's all in my hands, getting HCE, volunteering, knocking my pre-reqs out of the water, etc., but once application season has rolled around and I send in that app, it's not in my hands anymore. I've never felt so powerless, and it scares me to death. It's not even the "Will I get in, or won't I get in?" That's bugging me right now. I know I'll get in. Eventually. I'll keep working and trying and doing anything I need to do. What I can't stand is the person that this is turning me into. It scares me how badly I want this, and how much I feel like my happiness depends on it. I don't want to go to work. I don't want to go to class. I don't want to play with my daughter or spend time with my husband. All I want to do is lay in bed and sleep and wake up every now and then to check my email. I know it'll happen one day, and I'll get to breath that huge sigh of relief that I MADE IT, but I don't know if I'll ever get back that feeling of being in control of my own happiness. I just feel broken and I don't know how to piece myself back together again. This is just a rant, I don't really want advice, unless it's about dealing with these types of feelings regarding the application process. Feel free to share your own experiences, encouragements, etc! I don't mean to sound so down, I've just been feeling really blue lately, which is so UNLIKE me. I really need to snap out of it. Writing this helped a bit :;)): Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemon Bars Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Uncertainty and waiting are definitely stressful. I'm stressed about grades and money all the time to the point where I feel I don't get much joy out of life. Even weekends are no fun because I'm broke and I have lab reports to write and exams to study for. The only advice I have is to be active whenever you have time. Exercise, get some sun, go to a park with your kids and take a long walk. It helps. Sending you some good energy :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Stress of PA school > stress of applications. Just keep focusing on your motto. Whatever is supposed to happen will happen. I know it's hard but coming from the other side of the fence, trust me, stress and worries whether you will be a PA do not end after acceptance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Steve Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 firearms and alcohol...at the same time or not...tends to pass the time in a rather preoccupying fashion :-) I'm kidding...or not. :-) So seriously...Type A much? Yes, I know how you feel. I kept taking classes and working full time so between that and my three kids, I stayed busy. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cleverisallxx Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Wow... i feel like you've read my mind! I only just submitted my application several days ago but the waiting has been just torturous. I don't feel like studying for my classes or doing anything at all because it feels like my life is strung in midair - very dramatic I know. All I can say is try to do things you enjoy to help get the stress off your mind. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tigerlily Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Well, I am dying here. The wait is painful. Do you know approximately when interview invites get sent for the school/s you applied to? I know a ballpark timeframe for mine. I've been trying to keep my calendar full. All those annoying little things I've been putting off, I'm doing them now to fill my time. I've taken my car in to get some repairs, I've done some clothes/toy roundup to our local donation center, I fixed our fence, I went to see my pcm, etc. I might go for a run tomorrow. I also have a brand new SA XD9mm that I need to break in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToppDog Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 ...I also have a brand new SA XD9mm that I need to break in... Haha, Love it :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator rev ronin Posted November 3, 2012 Administrator Share Posted November 3, 2012 The solution to the wait is... Don't. Don't wait. Keep working on prerequisites, HCE, shadowing, reading, preparation... When all your applications are in for one year, keep working as if you won't get in, because if you wait through the admission season, you won't have accomplished anything by the time all the possible programs have definitely rejected you. Of course, one of them might take you... but never, ever bet on it. The reason I got in round two is because I did not stop buffing my portfolio. And, if you're doing that, then there's little time to sit around and wonder where in cyberspace your CASPA application has gotten off to. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sartort Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 The three things that helped me: Yoga, applying to way too many programs, and looking for 1-2 year-long backup options in case I needed to reapply. I was too tired/ anxious for a real work out many days and yoga is a way to force yourself to relax. Do it in a class where you can't be lazy about it. Applying to so many programs was expensive and ridiculous, and I ended up getting into one of my top choices after my first interview, so I recognize how much money I wasted on applications. It kept me busy, always having one more supplemental or transcript update to follow up on, etc. and I got in to a program before I ever finished all my applications. The more programs I applied to, the more confidence I gained, and the better I felt. (Remember though, this was a huge waste of money and I knew it as I did it, but it made me feel a little better.) Spending time searching for how you will improve your application if this time isn't the one will also keep you busy and remind you that there are more things out there. They may not be your dream career, but they can help you get there and any new job experience can be fun if you want it to be. Don't ignore your family. Play with them. Enjoy them. You will be very busy soon in PA school or interviewing and you need to enjoy the time you have now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will352ns Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 I have been dealing with it by sitting in a dark room for hours on end...sharpening my knives as I rock back and forth.....is that wrong? It sucks, but I just stay busy, which is easy due to my work, family, and school. I almost had a couple of days where I didn't think about it, then bang....got two interview invites yesterday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sotaskimmer Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 As others have said, there's not a whole lot you can do except fill your time with relaxing/productive things and prepare for not getting in. Besides that, just try to get used to the idea that sometimes even when you do all you can, the result is outside your control. Learn to let go a little bit. This also helps cut down the nervousness in interviews. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winterallsummer Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 Yep waiting is the hardest part of applying, no doubt about it. There is nothing to do but distract yourself with a project and think good thoughts in the mean time. Oh, and maybe TRY TO STAY HUMBLE. Good luck, we are rooting for ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gebaldwi Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 It scares me how badly I want this, and how much I feel like my happiness depends on it. I don't want to go to work. I don't want to go to class. I don't want to play with my daughter or spend time with my husband. All I want to do is lay in bed and sleep and wake up every now and then to check my email. I know it'll happen one day, and I'll get to breath that huge sigh of relief that I MADE IT, but I don't know if I'll ever get back that feeling of being in control of my own happiness. I just feel broken and I don't know how to piece myself back together again. if it makes u feel any better, i never worried about school except for the occassional panic attacks in grad school during finals week, until i decided i wanted to be a PA. i was working full time and normally overtime while finishing chem pre-reqs and volunteering at the hospital while checking my phone and email every minute. and i was a wreck. i stopped working out because i was tired all the time and was literally always busy (go figure). I was in a unstable relationship with someone i normally wouldn't date. on my lunch break at work, i'd go outside and sit by the water and cry. i took up smoking for a few weeks (never been a smoker, never will be). i was definitely depressed. this fluctuated from august until i got called in off the waitlist in may. i did try the usual workout when i could, limit my work hours to 50/week, not panic TOO much over class/exams, and attempted to eat healthy food. and drink water. and limit caffiene/alcohol. Believe it or not, this awful time actually prepares you well for when u start PA school...sleep deprevation, constant worrying... :;-D: U can do it. :;)): and when u get your call, you can relax and celebrate!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alina98 Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 no you are not alone, I felt this way too when I was in a process of residency appl, awful feeling... when it is over, you pick up the pieces of your broken soul and... feel normal again, start over and do whatever it takes to succeed. There is a new hope, new road, new challenge... It is hard, but you can quit or keep going.... I am not a quitter, and I am sure neither are you. Keep going! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemegroup Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 Stress of PA school > stress of applications. Excellently stated! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemegroup Posted December 8, 2012 Share Posted December 8, 2012 The solution to the wait is... Don't. Don't wait. Keep working on prerequisites, HCE, shadowing, reading, preparation... When all your applications are in for one year, keep working as if you won't get in, because if you wait through the admission season, you won't have accomplished anything by the time all the possible programs have definitely rejected you. Of course, one of them might take you... but never, ever bet on it. The reason I got in round two is because I did not stop buffing my portfolio. And, if you're doing that, then there's little time to sit around and wonder where in cyberspace your CASPA application has gotten off to. :-) Nicely said, might as well keep it going if it's going to be your life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mkrumm Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 Consider this time practice for the waiting you'll do after the PANCE. And then job interviews. Talk about checking email... :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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