A few days before submission! PLEASE give feedback

[patachok]

1. People say that our life experiences shape who we are and I could not agree more. When I started college at the age of 17 in Minsk, Belarus pursuing a career of a lawyer, I could have never imagined that several years later I would be in Chicago thinking about getting in to the medical field. Four years ago when I started my job as an EEG Technician I was not completely sure what to expect walking through the hospital doors. I had completed two clinical rotations before I got my first job at Evanston Hospital, but I feel that no matter how many clinicals you do or how much time you spend shadowing, it hardly ever prepares you for caring for patients on your own. After following each and every technician in the lab eventually I started developing my own way of communicating and interacting with my patients. I learned that every patient is an individual with their unique concerns; and that they need to be treated with respect, understanding, and care.When my patients want to talk I listen. When I feel that my patient is not the garrulous kind I stay quiet. The most important thing I learned is that people who visit the hospital are often in discomfort, feel scared or unsure, and it is my job as healthcare provider to make them feel like they have me on their side.

 

2. While working in the hospital I had a chance to work in collaboration with many wonderful people. On any given day I work closely with physicians, nurses, and physician assistants(PAs) from the neurology department.On surgical days I do intraoperative monitoring for neuro, orthopedic and vascular surgeons who are often assisted by PAs. Shortly after I got into the field I realized I wanted to further my education and while I started working on my BA in Biology and knew I wanted to stay in the medical field, I was not sure about the direction I should take. I knew I did not have the resources and time to commit to becoming a doctor, and was not completely convinced I wanted to go into nursing.The desire to become a PA, however, did not come overnight. Over the years I had many instances that just kept reassuring me that choosing a career as a PA is the right thing for me, and that is the perfect compromise between a physician and a nurse.

3. I vividly remember one patient, who had a huge impact on my decision making process. He was a 20 year old young man,who had a crash while riding his motorcycle with no helmet. The accident was very bad, and even though he survived the crash, he was intubated and unresponsive in the intensive care unit (ICU). I was called to do an EEG on him. I see many sick people, but there are some patients who just change your life, and stay with you in your memory for a long time. I could never forget his parents calling out his name and asking him to open his eyes and get up. I was looking at the EEG and knew that it did not predict a good outcome, but I wasnot allowed to say anything. Over the course of many weeks I did multiple EEG's on this young guy, but things did not change. I became friendly with his parents and brothers, who spent countless hours by his bedside, came to know their history. Despite the collaborative effect of doctors, PAs and nurses, the boy stayed in persistent vegetative state. I wished I could change something, but it was not in my power. When the family decided to transfer their son and brother to a long term care facility, I knew that even though I could not give them their boy back, I provided them with genuine care and mental support. Since then I realized that there was something more I wanted to do and a career of a PA seemed perfect.

 

4. I believe I know many aspects of a career of a PA. I work with PAs: I have seen PA's working with patients on the floor, I have seen them assist in surgeries which I find as one of the most exciting aspectsof this career. I like the idea that while there is a certain degree of independence when diagnosing and treating patients, there is also always a collaborative teamwork with doctors and nurses. In many instances PA is a connecting bridge between a doctor and a nurse, and a doctor and a patient, due to busy character of a physicians work. I truly believe that in many cases a PA spends more time with a patient, whether initially interviewing for reasons of being admitted, providing care and answering questions during an inpatient stay, or providing discharge instruction and following up when patients go home. I am sure that with the qualities I have such as excellent work ethic, compassion, orientation to detail, and strong orientation to teamwork I would become an excellent PA. I know I cannot help everybody, but I can certainly try my best. And even if I make somebody smile at their hardest and darkest times while being a patient and coping with illness I am doing good. And that makes me happy.

 

THANK YOU FOR ANY FEEDBACK!

[Juliakbran]

take out the sentence "I cannot help everybody but I will try my best". That's a given and unneeded. saying "doing well" instead of "doing good". And don't start your sentence with And....like I just did :)

[jdb1908]

I'm not sure if you need to state your opinion on who spends more time with who.. It varies .. I agree with the above.. Good assay. You may be subliminally ranking as well. Just look at it like this.... All are members of the healthcare team with essential roles and ultimately the goal is to ensure the comfort of the patient and provide quality care. There are some typos.. not sure if you were typing fast.. and some awkward phrased sentences.. Overall awesome couldn't:wink: have said it better! Good Luck Best wishes

[patachok]

English is not my first language... :) So, hence some weird worded sentences.

Thank you for ideas!