1st paragraph, already doubting my general theme.

[lilackitten]

NEVER MIND Thank you

[rev ronin]

Never write your statement chronologically, nor start at the beginning.

 

Organize it in an outline, write backwards, and make your introduction the last thing you write.

[lilackitten]

Never write your statement chronologically, nor start at the beginning.

 

Organize it in an outline, write backwards, and make your introduction the last thing you write.

Thank you! I appreciate the advice.

[NYfuturePA123]

"THIS NO GOOD" My dentist said loud and slow with an over exaggerated gesture to my very English fluent mother. At 10 years old, this was the first time I had been seen by a dentist in over three years; and my unhealthy obsession with Nutella and gas station Slurpees had afforded me 14 new cavities.

 

***

So I was hoping to tie this opener in with living in Puerto Rico, preventative health is just not a thing. Then maybe in a different paragraph some how explain that the dentist was insensitive and condescending towards undeserserved populations, and how I personally know how and strive to adjust treatment and narrative towards my patients based on their culture/socioeconomic background. Also one statement I definitely plan on including in my PS, probably towards the conclusion, is "When in comes to preventative health I have a soft spot for first, second, even thirteenth chances and the good intentioned people who need them." In hopes of conveying my patience towards noncompliant patients. However, I fear it could be interpreted as letting my patients slack and not emphasizing the severity of their health issues. I've also considered scrapping the whole theme all together because I hate to play the victim of poverty card. Thoughts? Criticism welcome

 

 

Hey I recently got accepted into PA school just want to chime in,

 

Honestly, until you explained the purpose of this opening, I did not understand what you were specifically trying to convey. I took that as a personal health battle instead of an insensitivity of undeserved populations. 

Also, this admissions letter is for Physician Assistants, Medical Doctors, Graduate and Doctoral professors. "My obsession with nutella and gas station slurpees.." is almost too playful and should be presented in a different way. 

 

I too started with an unconventional opener and I am happy to say it worked well. Best of luck with this and your whole admissions process!

[GreyhoundGirl]

 

 

"THIS NO GOOD" My dentist said loud and slow with an over exaggerated gesture to my very English fluent mother. 

 

Don't use 10 words when 2 will do :)

[lilackitten]

Hey I recently got accepted into PA school just want to chime in,

 

Honestly, until you explained the purpose of this opening, I did not understand what you were specifically trying to convey. I took that as a personal health battle instead of an insensitivity of undeserved populations.

Also, this admissions letter is for Physician Assistants, Medical Doctors, Graduate and Doctoral professors. "My obsession with nutella and gas station slurpees.." is almost too playful and should be presented in a different way.

 

I too started with an unconventional opener and I am happy to say it worked well. Best of luck with this and your whole admissions process!

Thank you! That's really helpful to know. I'm going to scrap this and start new.

[all.things.pac@gmail.com]

I like your inventive idea of trying to find a way to grab attention; however, I think what you originally wrote may be jsut a bit too unconventional.  PA programs want to hear about diverse experiences.  Tell them about your background--briefly--because I agree you do not want to seem like you're playing a card--but on the same note everyone has a background that matters!  Show them your background is what led you to healthcare and then go into specifically why you want to be a PA.  I think you have the right idea it just needs fine tuned!  I also think that displaying passion and interest in lower SES groups and patient demographics who are desperately in need is a great idea!  Keep formulating!  :) 

 

I recently updated my website section on personal statements.  check it out it may help you.  I include portions of my own personal statement.  Not that I'm an authority by any means but it might help you organize and direct your thoughts! :)  website link in signature and under pre-pa section :) Good luck!! :)