jmj11 Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 Finally got our new web page up. Be kind but if you have any constructive suggestions you can let me know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator EMEDPA Posted December 15, 2011 Moderator Share Posted December 15, 2011 excellent! I especially like the "why a pa makes a good h/a specialist" part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeneValgene Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 nice looking site!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueridge Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Looks quite nice. Since you asked, I do have some corrective suggestions. Would you prefer that I offer them here, or by email? Some simple editing.... like the misspelling of “knowledgable” on the main page of the web site. However, I have some general suggestions as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmj11 Posted December 20, 2011 Author Share Posted December 20, 2011 Looks quite nice. Since you asked, I do have some corrective suggestions. Would you prefer that I offer them here, or by email? Some simple editing.... like the misspelling of “knowledgable” on the main page of the web site. However, I have some general suggestions as well. Sorry but don't see it. The word is used once and is spelled knowledgeable. Did you see it on another page maybe? It doesn't matter how you let me know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cinntsp Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Great site and congrats! I don't know if it was in the spirit of keeping the testimonials 100% accurate but there are some spelling/grammatical errors, i.e. regrading vs. regarding. The last testimonial also spells out Pacific Rim Headache Center, then abbreviates it later, and then spells it out again even later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueridge Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Oh, yes it see that you have it right - chalk it up to my 13” screen and tired eyes... Here are some suggestions for the first page, and I have noted in [ ] suggestions / options for the first page: [The] Pacific Rim Headache Center was founded by J. Michael Jones, MPAS-C in June of 2011 [and] has quickly become the second busiest headache, migraine [,] and face pain practice in the state of Washington. [Their?] or [The center’s] great success is attributed to delivering state of the art diagnosis and treatment of headache, migraine, and face pain disorders in the atmosphere of [sincere] compassion and respect for the [patient]. J. Michael Jones has devoted most of the last thirty years practicing in [the] headache, migraine, and face pain specialty [ or - .... practicing within the headache, migraine, and face pain specialty area]. Prior to coming to western Washington, Mike was a headache and face pain consultant for several years at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. Mike has been a long time member of the American Headache Society and [serves / served?] as the inaugural chair of the NP/PA section of that society. Dr. James Moren, MD [are you sure you want to use Dr. and MD, or perhaps James Moren, MD?] joined Pacific Rim Headache Center as the medical director. He has been in medical practice for over thirty years and is [highly regarded] for his knowledgeable and compassionate service to patients in Whatcom County[; ] he was also the director of the headache program associated with the Family Care Network. Together they have created a welcoming state of the art clinic [eliminate the “and are”] surrounded by competent [and] compassionate staff. To learn more about our provider and our staff, check out our bios. We look forward to meeting you and helping you find [a better quality of life through effective treatment.] ((OR, if you prefer going with your original sentence with added commas)) We look forward to meeting you and helping you find[,] through effective treatment[,] a better quality of life.] -----There are a number of comma / semicolon errors on several of the pages as well as some sentences that could flow a little better. Again, I like your site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawnmclane Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 What are your thoughts on adding some links to patient materials, online resources or support groups? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueridge Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 On the bio page of Dr. Moren: suggestions: - He has 30 years of experience in private practice and hospital care, which includes delivering babies for 8 years. - In 1998, he became.... - Dr. Moren’s mother was the church organist for over 25 years [use no comma here] and a community orchestra organizer.... - From small town to big city, from west coast to east coast [,]... - in last sentence: Pacific Rim Headache On your bio page: - in first sentence, eliminate “had” to just say “has 30... - eliminate semicolon after Saper, MD - There [,] he saw patients from around the world suffering from complex headache and facial pain disorders. - For the past 8 years [,] he was the headache specialist... - As well as working nationally, Mike has also worked all over the world [in] places such as Cairo, Nepal, and Pakistan. Not only has Mike travelled to give medical care to people in these countries[,] he also lived in Cairo for two years with his family and completed a degree in Intensive Arabic Studies at the American University in Cairo. - .... four boys and one girl, one [of whom] was born in Cairo. - ...he enjoys sea kayaking, rock climbing, [eliminate “and”] hiking, building houses, studying history [and] philosophy [,] and travel[ing]. Also, I see that on your bio you say “facial pain” yet on your main page you say “face pain” - is one standard or does it matter? On the days noted for closed, etc., - New [Year’s] Day Gotta close for now. I will add some more tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmj11 Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 On the bio page of Dr. Moren: suggestions: - He has 30 years of experience in private practice and hospital care, which includes delivering babies for 8 years. - In 1998, he became.... - Dr. Moren’s mother was the church organist for over 25 years [use no comma here] and a community orchestra organizer.... - From small town to big city, from west coast to east coast [,]... - in last sentence: Pacific Rim Headache On your bio page: - in first sentence, eliminate “had” to just say “has 30... - eliminate semicolon after Saper, MD - There [,] he saw patients from around the world suffering from complex headache and facial pain disorders. - For the past 8 years [,] he was the headache specialist... - As well as working nationally, Mike has also worked all over the world [in] places such as Cairo, Nepal, and Pakistan. Not only has Mike travelled to give medical care to people in these countries[,] he also lived in Cairo for two years with his family and completed a degree in Intensive Arabic Studies at the American University in Cairo. - .... four boys and one girl, one [of whom] was born in Cairo. - ...he enjoys sea kayaking, rock climbing, [eliminate “and”] hiking, building houses, studying history [and] philosophy [,] and travel[ing]. Also, I see that on your bio you say “facial pain” yet on your main page you say “face pain” - is one standard or does it matter? On the days noted for closed, etc., - New [Year’s] Day Gotta close for now. I will add some more tomorrow. Thanks. I will look these over. BTW, I had a professional edit these before we put them up. I will leave the bios alone because they are in the words of the testifier and I don't want to tamper at all with what they said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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