Confettifun Posted November 20, 2023 Share Posted November 20, 2023 Not sure if I need advice or just to rant but im almost a year into an established EM Residency. Guys, I feel like its broken my spirit. I feel like just when I think im improving, i get anonymous comments on the evals saying that I suck. None of the attendings really say this to my face. Im weak in differentials, still forget to ask questions, i only remember like 50% of what I learned in school. I feel like I should read more or study on the few days I have off, but I dont have the want or energy to in all honesty (is this normal? My co-residents say it is but i feel like they’re all smarter than me so idk if they really had the same issues im having). I did residency to learn and improve and I just feel like it’s taken over my life and made me so insecure and depressed. I really want to quit. Idk is this normal or maybe im just not cut out for EM? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunnyn Posted November 20, 2023 Share Posted November 20, 2023 Do you think...you might loose your spot due to poor evaluations? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mayamom Posted November 20, 2023 Share Posted November 20, 2023 I would encourage you to finish but your right maybe ER is not right for you. Lots of other areas of specialty is in your future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ohiovolffemtp Posted November 21, 2023 Share Posted November 21, 2023 Is your residency 18 months? If so, you're already 2/3 of the way done. It would be best to stick it out. Instead of trying to become better at everything at the same time, pick 1-3 things to work on, whether it's procedures, disease processes, classes of meds, etc. Only add a new one when you're proficient in one of the things on your short list. Make sure that the items on your short list are the "most commons". That way you can demonstrate progress, vs just thrashing. Remember, physician EM residencies are 3-4 years, so even at the end of your residency, you'll only have pain half of that learning curve. I've practiced EM for over 10 years now. Even though I had 30+ years prehospital, it was 3+ years before I began to have some level of proficiency. This is probably your 1st job, so you're learning the facility, the EMR, your referral community, etc. as well as the practice of EM. You're paying lots of learning curves all at once. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SedRate Posted November 21, 2023 Share Posted November 21, 2023 Sorry to hear that. Hang in there. Some tips that may help: Carry around a pocket notebook to write down tips and tricks you learn. Everything from prescriptions to procedures to pertinent anatomy and landmarks, etc. Take photos and screenshots of things and organize them on your phone for quick reference like atls, blood gases, etc. Ask for feedback when appropriate and try to improve upon the information you receive. Keep learning and reading as much as you can. Learn what you can on your own and then ask your attendings/seniors if you can't quite figure something out. Shadow when possible to pick up nuances. Perhaps you're being a bit hard on yourself. And maybe take the bull by the horns and start asking for more learning opportunities, ask your attendings directly how you can improve, etc. Hope that helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kettle Posted November 21, 2023 Share Posted November 21, 2023 Don't compare yourself to others. EMRA handbook of differential diagnosis is good. I still use it. You're in a residency to learn, think of it about growing. I did a residency, the experience was great however I was miserable too. Living in a concrete jungle as a country boy was rough. The other thing is, remember you're definitely farther ahead of your classmates that didn't do a residency. I bet around month 14-16 it'll click, that's when I felt like I was finally running on all cylinders 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JEFTU Posted November 22, 2023 Share Posted November 22, 2023 Have you talked to your Program Director about these issues and your concerns? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IreneJeffery Posted December 21, 2023 Share Posted December 21, 2023 (edited) On 11/21/2023 at 12:23 AM, Confettifun said: Not sure if I need advice or just to rant but im almost a year into an established EM Residency. Guys, I feel like its broken my spirit. I feel like just when I think im improving, i get anonymous comments on the evals saying that I suck. None of the attendings really say this to my face. Im weak in differentials, still forget to ask questions, i only remember like 50% of what I learned in school. I feel like I should read more or study on the few days I have off, but I dont have the want or energy to in all honesty (is this normal? My co-residents say it is but i feel like they’re all smarter than me so idk if they really had the same issues im having). I did residency to learn and improve and I just feel like it’s taken over my life and made me so insecure and depressed. I really want to quit. Idk is this normal or maybe im just not cut out for EM? Any update? eZeeWallet Casino has revolutionized the way I approach online gambling. The ease of deposits and withdrawals with their electronic wallet has made my gaming sessions much more enjoyable. It's reassuring to see the increasing presence of ezeewallet casino indicating a positive trend in the industry. If you're looking for a reliable payment solution, this is it. Any update? Edit: Got my answer. Thank you Edited December 26, 2023 by IreneJeffery Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davidr14 Posted December 21, 2023 Share Posted December 21, 2023 Not sure how my comment will be viewed but here is the truth. Residency is not supposed to be easy. Yes, you should be studying. I read Tints, Rosens, listened to every C3 podcast, EMCast, Foam Cast, Amal EKG book, Rosh EM question bank, watched procedure videos, attended every conference. You will be depressed, residency hours are hard, and life will suck. Embrace the pain and fight hard every day. You will become better for it. You will experience ego death in residency. You will suck some days, or some weeks. I am here if you need support. Feel free to reach out. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kettle Posted December 21, 2023 Share Posted December 21, 2023 5 hours ago, davidr14 said: You will experience ego death in residency. You will suck some days, or some weeks. Truer words haven't been spoken. Residency taught me really well what I didn't know, my short comings and when I needed to ask for help. It was a dark time for me, covid, home confinement on off time, living in a big city. I ended up in counseling and going often. No shame in asking for help 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confettifun Posted March 10 Author Share Posted March 10 On 11/20/2023 at 2:07 PM, Sunnyn said: Do you think...you might loose your spot due to poor evaluations? No because the hospital relies on the residency program for cheap labor 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confettifun Posted March 10 Author Share Posted March 10 On 11/21/2023 at 11:44 PM, JEFTU said: Have you talked to your Program Director about these issues and your concerns? I did, i was put on a remediation plan but i feel even more burnt out from that in all honesty. Im feeling pretty apathetic at this point and just want to be finished already Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confettifun Posted March 10 Author Share Posted March 10 On 12/21/2023 at 9:58 AM, davidr14 said: Not sure how my comment will be viewed but here is the truth. Residency is not supposed to be easy. Yes, you should be studying. I read Tints, Rosens, listened to every C3 podcast, EMCast, Foam Cast, Amal EKG book, Rosh EM question bank, watched procedure videos, attended every conference. You will be depressed, residency hours are hard, and life will suck. Embrace the pain and fight hard every day. You will become better for it. You will experience ego death in residency. You will suck some days, or some weeks. I am here if you need support. Feel free to reach out. Idk, i feel like Ive gone beyond ego death and now im apathetic and way less empathetic. When I go on an OSR and I see how kind other providers are(especially with patients), i get sick to my stomach thinking about how I don’t even have it in me to be empathetic like that anymore. I genuinely my hardest to be nice but I feel like I fake empathy because I no longer have the capacity to emotionally comfort to others! I wanted to be in medicine to help people and make a difference. Sure, im saving lives but im also being physically/sexually assaulted by patients, verbally abused, and feel pretty alone in all of this when on shift. Im at a point where I just don’t have the same wonder and enthusiasm to learn and I feel paranoid all the time that my coworkers think the worst of me. Sure, I’ve gained some knowledge but to be on the brink of taking my life this winter over the stress of residency? Not worth it in my opinion(and every single one of the past residents I spoke to had the exact same deep dark depression and apathy around this point too). At this point, Im just trying to finish and leave EM all together. I never want to experience this level of depression, anxiety, and paranoia again in my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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