CASPA Narrative, constructive criticism please

[robertgarrigus1]

There is no greater sense of satisfaction than having the knowledge and compassion to make a difference in an individual’s life by caring for them. I have had numerous opportunities to care for patients in an ambulance setting, whether it was bandaging an innocent child's injured hand or spinal immobilization of a senior citizen that experienced a fall. For every patient I have had the privilege to care for, it is not only medical care I am offering, it's also emotional support as well.

 

One of my greatest moments of compassion for others was during an EMS call that involved a patient experiencing a motor vehicle accident. I was directed to hold the patient's cervical spine in place and keep him awake. The patient sat in the driver's seat semi-conscious with the dashboard on his chest and unaware of his situation. As I sat in the back seat of the vehicle, I communicated with the patient for 30 minutes keeping him awake and giving him a sense of security. As the fire department extricated him out of the vehicle, I was the only other person in the vehicle with him, and I reassured him that he was in great hands. The patient wasn't just physically in my hands as the dashboard was being lifted off of him, but also in the emotionally supporting hands of the Paramedic, Fire Department, and Police. We worked as a team, clearly communicating and assisting one another in order to reach a common goal, to save this individual’s life by removing him safely and promptly from his wrecked vehicle.

 

That memorable experience has pushed me even harder to reach my goal to become a dedicated and compassionate Physician Assistant. As Life Star flew off into the distance with the patient stable and secured I imagined myself being a Physician Assistant at the treating Hospital working with a trauma team to provide unprecedented care for this patient.

 

It is motivating to know that as a Physician Assistant you continuously work as team with Doctors, Nurses, and other Physician Assistants to provide a common goal, which is exceptional care to every patient. Just seeing the smile on a patient who knows that they have medical and emotional support of a highly qualified and knowledgeable Physician Assistant is the biggest motivating factor for me. I desire to see that smile on tens of thousands of patient’s faces as they stare back at me knowing that they are in helpful hands. Therefore, I will strive to my fullest to become a extraordinary Physician Assistant because one of the most gratifying expressions in life one can offer is a helping hand.

[GatorRRT]

After reading your statement, I gather that you're a compassionate EMT. I don't get the sense that you actually know how a PA fits into the healthcare realm. I would include a section on an experience you had while with a PA (ie work environment, shadowing) that helped you realize PA was right for you.

[robertgarrigus1]

yea I was nervous I didn't expand on the PA environment enough and spent too much on the EMT section, it needs reworking for sure. It needs to flow better from EMT into PA. I will post a follow up soon

 

thanks for your input GatorRRT, much appreciated

[mktalon]

There are tense issues throughout, and also some word usage issues that need to be resolved (unprecedented care just doesn't really make sense to me). You have good material for a ps, you just need to work on it. Best of luck to you.

[cinntsp]

Suggestion 1: Get this proofread and note that professions should not be capitalized in the context you are using.

 

Suggestion 2: Post threads in the correct forum. ;)

[robertgarrigus1]

Yea i know it needs to be proofread, but I mainly posted it on here to see what advice I can get about my general idea/layout of the paper. I feel like its like every other cliche narrative, " caring for people" but its the truth. give me a few days I should have a completely revised version

 

thanks for your input chris

[kepicsdm]

Hi there! I recently went through the application process and was recently accepted so I have some things fresh in my mind!

You have great material to start! I think it's great that you are highlighting your ability to be compassionate with patients. I think you also need to highlight some other useful skills--one in this situation is remaining calm under stress and despite the severity of the situation you were able to remain focused on the patient. Also, you speak of wanting to be the PA at the hospital treating this patient--which is great--make sure you make it undoubtedly clear as to why that is going to be more satisfying to you than your current position. Along the same lines make sure you distinguish why you want to be a PA and not another type of healthcare provider (MD, NP, nurse, etc) Why is PA the best choice for you? It may seem very specific but its very important. Again I would also expand on additional skills and personality traits you have that would make a successful PA (to make you appear/highlight your well roundedness). You are definitely on the right track. Your paper has around the same flow/organization as my first few drafts and things seemed to work out well for me! GOOD LUCK! =)

~Danielle

[bjl12]

This PS seems fairly short to me. What's the maximum length for a PS? Is OP's PS of average, typical size?