Baby during didactic or clinical phase?

[february]

Hi all. I start PA school in the fall. My husband and I want to have a baby and would rather not wait until PA school is over (despite the rigorous program), as I will be 32 at that point (and we want 3 kids!).

 

For those women who are/were pregnant in PA school, is it better to have a newborn during the didactic or clinical portion? We will live 30 minutes from school and hire a nanny or do daycare during the week.

 

Your thoughts/insight are much appreciated

[Planteater]

So, I am not in my program yet, but I do have kids. If you are healthy, 32 is not at all too old to start having children. I do not think I would choose to become a parent for the first time in the middle of PA School. Having your first child can be incredibly stressful on you and your marriage- throw in a super stressful school program and I think you might be asking for trouble. I stayed with my kids and it was really hard- I cannot imagine putting something else into that mix. I would also hesitate to be pregnant during clinicals because pregnancy is very unpredictable- I ended up on bedrest for 1 month with my first child. Anyway, obviously it is your decision and not mine :;;D: but I had to give you some words of caution based on my own experience as a mom.

[february]

Thanks wca. I figured I can always take a year off if things become too much to handle. An MD friend of mine had two babies in her residency. She was away from home 70hrs a week (and her hubby was gone half the month for work). They're my source of inspiration in this tough decision. The only downside is that the nanny became the primary caregiver :(

[lala785]

If you are determined to have a baby during PA school, I would consider postponing until clinical year because there are lab components during didactic year that you will not be able to participate in if you are pregnant (because of potential harm to the fetus). This could cause you to extend your time in PA school until you are able to safely complete those labs after you have delivered. I would guess it might be easier to shuffle your clinical rotations around, if necessary, than to stick around for an extra year just to complete a few labs.

[ochiguina]

I don't know but being in pa school is stressful enough...being a parent is even more stressful...imagine both :-) I'm in yhe same boat at age 31 starting also this fall...i encourage you not to do it and wait at least while you are done with your first year ...but its imho...

[panelson]

Being a first year PA student only a month and a half in, i can not imagine having a child. I am only 6 weeks in and I am already crazy with work and a peer of mine already feels she is "neglecting her 18 month old at home to study". I would highly discourage you to have a child during at least the didactic year with how crazy fast and busy it is. 32 is not too old :)

[Planteater]

does your school allow you to take a year off? A lot of programs don't- I am pretty sure med school is more flexible with that than PA school, but I have only researched a few in my area, so I could be mistaken...

[olsambo]

From a male perspective, being a father of an awesome 2 year old and being well into my first year of PA school I would really have raise an eye brow about having a child while being a student. We have already lost three people in our program for not meeting the requirements to continue on in the program. I remember being sick for a week in the fall and it destroyed my studying. With that said, I have a couple of classmates who are very bright and arguably a photographic memory and they can afford to miss class for illness or whatever.

 

From a father and husbands perspective. I have a difficult time with the guilt of not being able to quantitatively be better at either. Thus, I have to qualitatively make up for my absence in the home. With that said, I have to pay amazing tribute to my wife for being a wonderful mother. So, I would propose that you discuss this in depth with your partner. It's not an easy decision, but just know that my free time is very limited.

 

Finally, PA school has been difficult and stressful on many of our classmates. There has been too much drama but we move on. A few classmates have gone thru divorce and all types of emotional and frustrating experiences with spouses and significant others. It may be tough to wait at least another year or two but I think in the long run it may make a rough experience less difficult. Just a thought. Feel free to pick my brain.

[february]

Thanks everyone! I had this discussion with a PA, and she too thinks baby+school=too much stress for everyone involved.

 

wca- yes, my program allows a leave of absence. As tempting as that is, i'm thinking i'd rather get schooling out of the way rather than prolong it... thanks again.

[lina105]

I had a baby during PA school, and it was not terrible because of how lucky I got with the timing of it and the fact that it was a healthy pregnancy and no delivery complications. My baby was born after I just finished my third clinical rotation, right at thanksgiving/christmas break. I only ended up missing 3 weeks, and made it up after graduation. I would say that I think having a baby during didactic year would have been extremely hard with all the hours of studying. My school worked with me and made sure that I had the crazy, hard rotations like surgery and internal medicine before I gave birth and when I came back I had the easier ones like Geriatrics. It can definitely work, but it could also be terrible if someone is unlucky enough to have morning sickness all the time, or have a complicated pregnancy that would require more time away from school. I had one friend who managed to plan hers to be around graduation, and gave birth shortly after the day. Good luck with school!

[melk2121]

I don't know why people here are being so discouraging. But here is my experience. I went to a PA school where one woman had two little ones and she was the best student in our entire class! Many students had kids and they managed to do just fine. It depends on you and how hard you are willing to work. By the way, the woman with two children, she drove an hour and half each way for school and still managed to be the best student in class. Anything is possible, you just have to believe in yourself. In the past, I used to listen to negative things other people used to say and that really used to effect me but now I ignore all the negativeness and I keep my eye on the goal and continue to work hard.

[CAAdmission]

I know three people that had children while in PA school. Two dropped out and and were not seen again.

 

Choose carefully.

[vaston]

I don't know why people here are being so discouraging. But here is my experience. I went to a PA school where one woman had two little ones and she was the best student in our entire class! Many students had kids and they managed to do just fine. It depends on you and how hard you are willing to work. By the way, the woman with two children, she drove an hour and half each way for school and still managed to be the best student in class. Anything is possible, you just have to believe in yourself. In the past, I used to listen to negative things other people used to say and that really used to effect me but now I ignore all the negativeness and I keep my eye on the goal and continue to work hard.

Caring for kids during PA School vs giving BIRTH to a child during PA School are 2 VERY different propositions.........

[Planteater]

There is a difference between negativity and reality. The woman that handled it all with kids and a 3 hour commute is probably an exception and not the norm. The reality is that being a new mom is exhausting- especially if you have a baby that has gas/colic/poor sleep habits/ear infections/the list goes on.

[CAAdmission]

I don't know why people here are being so discouraging. But here is my experience. I went to a PA school where one woman had two little ones and she was the best student in our entire class! Many students had kids and they managed to do just fine. It depends on you and how hard you are willing to work. By the way, the woman with two children, she drove an hour and half each way for school and still managed to be the best student in class. Anything is possible, you just have to believe in yourself. In the past, I used to listen to negative things other people used to say and that really used to effect me but now I ignore all the negativeness and I keep my eye on the goal and continue to work hard.

 

Maybe she was a great student, but a terrible mother. This is not something you want to chance screwing up.

[Just Steve]

I don't know why people here are being so discouraging. But here is my experience. I went to a PA school where one woman had two little ones and she was the best student in our entire class! Many students had kids and they managed to do just fine. It depends on you and how hard you are willing to work. By the way, the woman with two children, she drove an hour and half each way for school and still managed to be the best student in class. Anything is possible, you just have to believe in yourself. In the past, I used to listen to negative things other people used to say and that really used to effect me but now I ignore all the negativeness and I keep my eye on the goal and continue to work hard.

 

If the OP wanted to ignore the "negativeness" and keep their eye on their own goal, they would not have posted a question to the forum. They would march on with their own plan. Since they did ask the question I feel it would be short sighted to paint a super rosy picture and say "oh yeah, no problem, it'll be a snap" as it would be false advertising.

 

Just because a person doesn't agree with someone else, it doesn't make them negative. It only makes then different.

[melk2121]

From how much I knew her, she seemed like a very good mother. She worked very hard on weekdays and tried to make some time for her kids on weekends. You have to remember that it’s 2 years of PA school, and even if you have someone else take care of your kids for those 2 years, you will be able to give them a very good life for the other 16 or more years they’re with you.

 

Even when you become a PA, you may think that your life will finally settle down, but you’ll be super busy even then. That’s just a choice working mothers make. For the first few years, you will be going home and opening up your old books to review things….you will be working hard the whole day and will be just as tired as you when you were in school. There will never be a good time to have a baby….you just have to manage your schedule and fit having a baby in there. It’s kind a stupid thing to say that someone is a terrible mother. She’s working her *** off to study so that she can give her kids what she didn’t have.

[melk2121]

If the OP wanted to ignore the "negativeness" and keep their eye on their own goal, they would not have posted a question to the forum. They would march on with their own plan. Since they did ask the question I feel it would be short sighted to paint a super rosy picture and say "oh yeah, no problem, it'll be a snap" as it would be false advertising.

 

Just because a person doesn't agree with someone else, it doesn't make them negative. It only makes then different.

 

Well you kind of have to ignore the negativeness because otherwise you will never be able to get though PA school. People will tell you all kinds of things. Classes are hard, clinics are hard, having a kid during PA school is hard, blah blah blah......if you keep concentrating on all the hurdles, you will never get past them. You have to keep your eye on the goal and take it one day at a time and before you know it, it'll be over.

 

I'm speaking entirely from experience. I was the queen of negativeness. Whatever negative things people told me, I'd start thinking "Oh if it's that hard, how will I ever do it?" This actually caused me to drop out of school. It took me a whole year to turn myself around and go back to school. I started completely ignoring what others said and always kept in mind why I came into the program in the first place. I graduated with honors, and that too with a little baby at home!

 

If you just alter your thinking, everything changes. If you have the passion, you can pretty much do anything!! If you don't have the passion, you can fail even with 0 kids! For those of you who have kids, don't feel guilty about not being able to give them time...you will be giving them a better life once you're done! And don't let the comments out there bother you. If you have a dream, make it come true!

[chiaroscuro27]

From how much I knew her, she seemed like a very good mother. She worked very hard on weekdays and tried to make some time for her kids on weekends. You have to remember that it’s 2 years of PA school, and even if you have someone else take care of your kids for those 2 years, you will be able to give them a very good life for the other 16 or more years they’re with you.

 

Even when you become a PA, you may think that your life will finally settle down, but you’ll be super busy even then. That’s just a choice working mothers make. For the first few years, you will be going home and opening up your old books to review things….you will be working hard the whole day and will be just as tired as you when you were in school. There will never be a good time to have a baby….you just have to manage your schedule and fit having a baby in there. It’s kind a stupid thing to say that someone is a terrible mother. She’s working her *** off to study so that she can give her kids what she didn’t have.

 

No it's not. The truth is there are some terrible mothers out there...period. I would agree with you that there is no perfect time to have a child. However, if someone is planning in advance to have children, common sense would suggest avoiding conception when you know you are heading into a stressful time in your life.

 

You don't know just how stressful PA school is until you get there. No amount of living vicariously through friends or talking to other physicians and practitioners will give you an accurate picture of what PA school will be like for you; we all deal with stress in different ways.

 

To the OP, it sounds like you already know what you want to do. I wish you well with your decision. Good luck!

[Seijou]

Just because you can doens't mean you should. Please just use common sense in this situation. If a few people on this forum tell you "Sure you can do it! I've done it!" - Then will you be motivated to go ahead with this plan?

 

Let's also jump off a bridge... I've done it before!

[melk2121]

Now I remember why I stopped coming to this forum. All the people here only try to discourage you and scare you. It's not about just telling someone to have a kid or not....but reading these messages will discourage people who already do have a kid....and they may decide not to go to PA school.

 

All I'm saying is, I knew over 20 people who went to school who had 1 or more kids and they all graduated! I'm speaking from own experience and from the experience of others. If you don't have a kid, you decide when to have one. But if you already have one, please don't read these idiotic messages and decide not to go to PA school. If you really want to be a PA for the right reasons, you WILL get through it!

 

I honestly think that people write messages on this forum to discourage people from applying. When I was applying to PA school years ago, I used to be on this forum all day long and it really stressed me out. Even once I was in PA school, reading all the discouraging messages would stress the hell out of me! Because of reading messages here and listening to negative messages from people, I ended up dropping out because I "thought" I couldn't do it.

 

I then got off of this forum, changed my thinking process, reapplied, went back (with a 6 month kid at home), got in, graduated with honors! I came back to this forum after years and looks like things haven't changed at all. People still try to discourage others. Think before you type messages here. It's one thing to say that "you shouldn't have a kid in PA school" but it's another to say "PA school is hard/impossible if you have a kid at home." If you tell people stuff like this, then people with kids will read these stupid messages and won't apply when they are probably just as qualified as you.

 

Parents are usually much more disciplined than people without kids and they are better with time management. If you have a kid/kids, and you've done well in undergrad, IGNORE EVERYTHING PEOPLE ON THIS FORUM SAY! PA school is hard, but it's not as hard as people on this forum make is sound. Yes, you will be studying most of the time, but it's 2 years (some 3). I know people who have gone through medical school and residency with kids. Don't make life sound so hard, because it's really not! If you believe in yourself, you can do it!

[jassied]

wow!! Finally, someone I can agree with! I completely agree with you melk. I am in PA currently and have a 1 year old at home. It was a little hard the first couple of months but once I made a schedule for everything, it all worked out. I also try to work hard on weekdays and spend some time with my family on weekends. I have a very helpful husband and when he's not home, I have a nanny come over till I get home. You can make it all work out as long as you have the will. If you just keep thinking about how hard something is going to be, that alone will stress you out so much that you will not have the will to overcome your problems.

 

You are right about people being negative on this forum. They are first to tell you about their bad experiences and hold back on telling you the good things about PA school. It's just about learning to manage your schedule, and it all works out. And like you said, it's just a couple of years of hard work and then it all pays off!

 

Awesome messages melk! We need more people like you on this forum. Only positive thinking will lead to positive results.

[Seijou]

Regardless of why you stopped coming to this forum - your positivity and encouragement is a matter of personal experience and is specific to how you feel about this (or your) situation.

 

Our posts reflect how we feel, which is not any less valid or truthful than how you feel. It is your PERCEPTION that you are 'right', however no two people are alike and no two situations are alike.

 

Some people have responded to this post in a discouraging manner which might cause the OP to step back and re-think the situation. The OP will do whatever the OP wants to do.

 

I have encountered too many people who have set themselves up for failure by giving themselves too much or thinking they are more than human, and it would be my goal to help encourage an environment where they are setting themselves up to succeed - whether that is in PA school or in another avenue. If you want to be bold and ambitious, more power to you, but don't misinterpret your own perspective as the 'right' perspective and think that you're super positive. Positivity can be measured in more than one way, and although it may be harsh for the OP to hear certain things that we downright feel is common sense, the intentions behind them are to help the OP.

[melk2121]

I guess I've made my point. Another similar comment! Hmm. Anyway, if you did well in undergrad, have taken courses above and beyond PA school requirements, then you will be just fine in PA school.

 

If you suck in PA school, it's probably because you're bad with time management or just plain lazy and tend to procrastinate.

 

If you review the material on a daily basis and use weekends to review the entire week's material, there is absolutely no room for failure (unless you have a learning disability or something).

 

Anyway, if anyone ever wants to know what PA school is really like, and how to get through it with children or while you have problems in life (martial, family, etc...), don't hesitate to send me a private message. I will be more than happy to tell you exactly how to study and can guarantee that if you follow a few simple rules, you will surely succeed. There is way to study in PA school, a technique. If you get the technique down, you will remember the material for a longer period of time and learning new material won't be hard for you. It's not just about reading the notes and the book over and over. Many of you come to this forum for answers, this message is just for you guys, please don't let the messages on here discourage you. Only you can measure you potential. You can let people on here do it for you. My only goal is to let you guys know that this forum and other forums, such as sdn, they just try to discourage you. People on here lie about their undergrad GPAs, etc... just to make you feel like you can't get in with you GPA.

 

If you ever need help, if you're starting PA school or are in PA school, send me a message and I will be more than happy to tell you how to study in PA school and still have a life. Take care all and don't give up on your dreams!

[Seijou]

I guess I've made my point. Another similar comment! Hmm.

 

Oh you're one of those people.

 

Anyways, good advice.