long distance relationship in PA school?

[MyNameWasUsed]

,

[xNeferpitou]

It really depends on how much you love the girl. When I attend PA school I'll be about an hour away from my SO. We've been together for about three years. I love him so much and he's the one I want to come home too. We are both working on our careers and we will both be pretty busy. We are going to work hard through the week but then spend time with each other on the weekends. Once I'm done with PA school we are going to live and start our life together. If you aren't truly committed or serious then I would say it's not worth it. I mean you say that you're probably going to break up. If you were really serious then you would think of how you could make it work.

[harden4mvp]

Agree with snipergirl... Long distance is tough on anyone and not meant for everyone. It's worth it if you see yourself being with this girl for a lifetime! You can try it out and see how you guys manage through it, but definitely don't give up without trying. 

[UGoLong]

As someone who was married for 36 years before moving 2 hours from home to go to PA school -- and who is now married for almost 48 years -- I must admit your initial post raises a question for me:

 

If you are already thinking about just ending things after 3 months because of the possible downside risk, how much of a relationship can you possibly have at this point?

 

Every new relationship presents its opportunity and its questions. In WW2, people actually stayed together while the guy went off to war for 4 years (no R&R, no Internet, no Skype, just an occasional rumpled snail mail). Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. In more modern times, people have jobs that have them travel all week and then hopefully come home for weekends. That will be a closer approximation to you in PA school.

 

Don't overthink your life: just live it and see what happens.

[HoundsfieldHero]

You might want to think about pulling the plug since you've only been together for a short time. My ex (we were together for 10 months and non long distance) spontaneously decided that she couldn't deal with my schedule and conveniently broke up with me right before midterms. Having your soul torn out isn't exactly the kind of situation that you want to be dealing with during major tests..Things have been much less stressful now that I am single and only have to worry about myself. My grades have been showing it. Quite a few of my classmates have suffered a similar same fate. It's going to be tough if you are not fully committed to each other. Good luck.

[PM_UR_PTs]

I've spoken to a seasoned PA (10+ years) and his words about relationships with family, friends, and significant others can be summed up as this. "For two years, you will be married to PA school". I have a relationship now that is going two years strong, and i've tried to make it as clear as possible what she will be getting herself into and that she will hardly ever see me for the first year. 

 

OP, I think you should consider ending the relationship. Notice i said CONSIDER, i'm not telling you that you SHOULD. Its been three months, so there isn't a long time commitment and not a lot invested. It's always easier for someone on the outside to tell you what to do, but you have to dig deep and communicate this with your SO. Essentially, you will be putting your life on hold for two years when you start PA school. 

 

Anecdote: I have a friend who was in a serious relationship prior to starting PA school. As soon as she graduated, she married him, so that ended up working out for her. On the other hand, there is a youtube channel where a former PA student (now licensed PA) was cheated on while he was in PA school and that ended horribly. I think the accumulating stress of balancing a relationship, especially with someone who you've only been dating for three months, can be an unnecessary burden and could be easily avoided if you put an end to the relationship sooner, rather than later. 

 

I hope this helped. 

[UGoLong]

Reading the replies to this thread is convincing me that romance might actually be dead, at least for some. (Glad it wasn't for me...)

[HoundsfieldHero]

Reading the replies to this thread is convincing me that romance might actually be dead, at least for some. (Glad it wasn't for me...)

It is a different time, my friend. You are very lucky.

[UGoLong]

I thought that all I had to worry about was the fate of our country given the election. I had no idea that the survival of the species was at stake too!

[xNeferpitou]

I thought that all I had to worry about was the fate of our country given the election. I had no idea that the survival of the species was at stake too!

 

Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong age group. I am apart of the "millenial generation" I seriously can't stand most people my age. There are a few decent ones..but a majority of them just make me upset. I don't know why.. oh probably cause my generation is abunch of selfie taking, hipster, beard growing, posing as hardcore loving, "i bought a GoPro first" losers. Oh and another thing is entitlement. I feel like people want everything to be easy. I don't think they realize how fulfilling it is to do something hard and have that feeling of accomplishment. 

 

People my age are always blabbing personal private issues all over facebook without weighing the consequences... I can't tell you how many times I've seen people on my facebook talking about how many drugs they have smoked... or cussing out another person because they have a different opinion. I actually couldn't handle facebook anymore so I had to deactivate it. I don't really use social media much.. although I feel like I should since its important for future employers. I don't like how everyone believes what they read over the internet without doing proper research.. as in sources that have been peer reviewed. I could go on.. but I'll stop here.. this probably isn't the right place to vent my frustations.

 

I am really trying to like my generation because of how savy we are with all the technological advances and having instant acess to unliminiteds about of information.... but man just some people really get on my nerves. 

[DiggySRNA]

Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong age group. I am apart of the "millennial generation" ...

 

People my age are always blabbing personal private issues all over Facebook without weighing the consequences...

 

I thought I was the only millennial who was witnessing non-sense on FB.

 

I've seen so many breakups plastered over FB, baby mamma/daddy drama, wanabe gangbangers, drug heads, attention seekers, and vocal lawyers/politicians who received their credentials via FB.

 

Then there are others who I give my attention to; getting a new job, pursuing/completing higher ed, personal accomplishments etc.

[UGoLong]

I am a boomer and our generation was thought to be coddled, etc. Maybe some were, but some of us weren't.

 

I guess the thing is that we all get to live in the times that we live in. We can't change much about the setting, but we can choose how we want to live. Rather than wishing you could change your cohort, just decide who you want to be. Surprisingly, you will find lots of people like you, even amidst the gangstas and Go-Pros (or whatever). In the end, you get to fashion your own life.

 

And, as far as finding life partners, the people who will rip your heart out when you start PA school probably won't be around when the going gets really tough. A troubled child, or -- God forbid -- one of you has to go through chemo one day. Relationships get tested all the time. It's best that you find out how yours is before you reach a steep stretch on the trail. 

 

Don't give up; who you choose to go through life with makes all the difference.

[fishbum]

I am a boomer and our generation was thought to be coddled, etc. Maybe some were, but some of us weren't.

 

I guess the thing is that we all get to live in the times that we live in. We can't change much about the setting, but we can choose how we want to live. Rather than wishing you could change your cohort, just decide who you want to be. Surprisingly, you will find lots of people like you, even amidst the gangstas and Go-Pros (or whatever). In the end, you get to fashion your own life.

 

 

I had a conversation like this with a co-worker the other day. We decided that every generation gets accused of being soft, weak, self-absorbed, etc. by the preceding generation...always has, always will. But then, when it matters, the real representatives of the generation rise to whatever occasion presents itself and demonstrate that they're actually strong, tough, resilient, and smart...Americans worthy of the title. 

 

Then, of course, we get old and accuse our kids of being soft, weak, self-absorbed and being "what's wrong with the world today". Circle of life, I suppose. 

[PM_UR_PTs]

Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong age group. I am apart of the "millenial generation" I seriously can't stand most people my age. There are a few decent ones..but a majority of them just make me upset. I don't know why.. oh probably cause my generation is abunch of selfie taking, hipster, beard growing, posing as hardcore loving, "i bought a GoPro first" losers. Oh and another thing is entitlement. I feel like people want everything to be easy. I don't think they realize how fulfilling it is to do something hard and have that feeling of accomplishment. 

 

People my age are always blabbing personal private issues all over facebook without weighing the consequences... I can't tell you how many times I've seen people on my facebook talking about how many drugs they have smoked... or cussing out another person because they have a different opinion. I actually couldn't handle facebook anymore so I had to deactivate it. I don't really use social media much.. although I feel like I should since its important for future employers. I don't like how everyone believes what they read over the internet without doing proper research.. as in sources that have been peer reviewed. I could go on.. but I'll stop here.. this probably isn't the right place to vent my frustations.

 

I am really trying to like my generation because of how savy we are with all the technological advances and having instant acess to unliminiteds about of information.... but man just some people really get on my nerves. 

 

 

I think its easy to get cynical about our current generation. Due to technological changes, it has become much easier for people to share private life information and post their opinions on controversial subjects. I look at my Facebook feed and see a lot of strongly opinionated folks that don't have much qualifications for making bold statements. But I also have many friends that do not do this, and because they don't post as frequently, they are never heard so there starts to become a perspective bias on what social media is. Fortunately, Facebook has a feature that lets you hide posts from certain individuals, yet remain friends with them. I do this to about 7/10 people on my Facebook just to make it less cluttered. 

 

I think it ultimately comes down to who you surround yourself with. I'm sure personalities have changed slightly from environmental factors from one generation to another. But I would also say that human nature has not changed much, and people will be people. If you find very intellectual people to follow on social media, I think you would enjoy their posts a lot more. 

[pajourney]

At first I thought having a long distance relationship (10.5 hours away) would be a burden in PA school. But it turned out to be a benefit. Distance will either pull you apart or pull you closer together. Try to be positive. It is a good thing actually, your chance to figure out in a short period of time whether or not your significant other is the real deal. I am in my second year of PA school and am engaged now. Couldn't be happier.

[newton9686]

OP, I say show her what you wrote in your original post and that should solve the problem for you.

[Lola]

"Not sure if it's worth it" translates to "not worth it" At least in my book. Don't add unnecessary stress to PA school for a relationship you are not 100% excited about and willing to work on.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[jlumsden]

Through your clinical year, it is pretty likely you will be sent away to do rotations.  Personally, six of my ten months of rotations have required me to live several hours away from my partner of eight years.  So even if you did live in the same city as your partner, some of your time in PA school will be a long distance relationship.

 

It is fair to say that even in the best of circumstances, PA school will test your relationship.  We've done fine so far, but my partner has been more than generous with his patience.  I'm not always patient, and I am not always kind, even though I do love him.  He does more of the housework, he cooks me breakfast, he covers more of the bills, and he puts up with my irritability when I'm struggling with the demands of school.  It's a lot to ask, and sometimes I don't feel as if I deserve someone so good to me.  He disagrees, fortunately.  :)

 

I'd recommend having an honest, adult conversation about how PA school can be stressful for significant others, and work with her to plan for these stresses.  If you can't make a plan with her, it is probably best to take a break from the relationship.  Either way, I wish you and her luck.