How to handle personal questions during an interview?

[Guest Swennerb]

I don't know if this happens alot to anyone else, but I feel like it happens alot to me and I don't know what to say anymore. I've been interviewing for jobs, and at some point during the interview, either the hiring manager or SP starts to inquire about my marital status, or family situation. they ask all other legitimate questions as well,... But it's like, I know they are not supposed to ask me these personal questions and it makes me very uncomfortable. I am single, and no kids but I don't think that's pertinent information. I want to be hired bc I'm a professional, and not be judged as anything else but that. I don't want to be discriminated against, and I don't know what to say to these interviewers bc it's like- no I don't have anything to hide but I also don't think it's really any of their business. Does anyone have some good advice how to avoid answering a question like that in a professional way with out sounding like a jerk?

[NewtonsApple]

Just confidently and politely let them know that you like to keep your family life personal and you can guarantee that it will have no impact on your performance as an employee.

[rev ronin]

I always wanted that to happen to me so I could use a line like...

 

"So, now that you've asked about a federally protected status without any connection to the job in question, would you prefer to offer me the job or a cash settlement in lieu of an EEOC lawsuit? I'm open to either option."

 

But it's actually never happened to me.

 

If you want to turn the discrimination bit on its head, consider buying yourself a wedding ring. Places that want "stability" in employees (read: they won't leave at the drop of a hat) will tend to bias in favor of married employees, and if they assume you're the kind of protected class they want to favaor, based on your current jewelry, then that's their own problem.

[Guest Swennerb]

Thanks, I appreciate the feed back. I really was not expecting this kind of treatment at my interviews, its been an eye opener.

[Guest Swennerb]

I am contacting the EEOC about it tomorrow actually, Ill let you know what happens.

[NewtonsApple]

It is my understanding that the question itself is not a "federally protected status," it is how you use the answer of that question. You may ask, as long as you ask ALL applicants and do not use answers in any sort of screening process which would lead to discrimination.

[Guest Swennerb]

Just to conclude- I was able to file a claim and charge my former employer w discrimination for the way I was treated based on my marital status. You can file with the department of human rights, but it is not covered under the eeoc. And for any of you PA's out there who feel your rights are being violated- please stand up for yourselves and our profession!

[Magicnubs]

Thank you for bringing this issue to light Swennerb. I can't imagine I'll be married when entering my first round of applications, so it's likely to affect me, and is something I hadn't personally given much consideration.

[ventana]

if you want/need the job you gotta play along - point on the positives of what ever status you have....

 

if you don't need the job politely tell them that is an illegal question and they should be aware of this very basic fact.....

[winterallsummer]

What's the big deal? You are going to be working tons of hours with these people, the least you can do is get to know each other. I don't see how asking if you are married or have kids is discrimatory. They may want to see if you are comfortable making small talk.

[ventana]

What's the big deal? You are going to be working tons of hours with these people, the least you can do is get to know each other. I don't see how asking if you are married or have kids is discrimatory. They may want to see if you are comfortable making small talk.

 

the big deal is discrimination

 

so a small company is watching their $$ very closely - they know that if they provide health insurance for the employee it is a lot cheaper then a family. Two equal canidates, one with 4 kids and a wife and one single. The single guy/gal gets it. Hiring decision is based on maritial status and/or kids... not on credintals

 

 

from http://www.jobinterviewquestions.org/questions/illegal-questions-interviewer.asp

 

Marital/ Family Status (often alludes to sexual orientation)

 

The purpose of these “family” inquiries is to explore what some employers believe is a common source of absenteeism and tardiness. Typically, these questions are asked only of women making the inquiry clearly unlawful. However, even if such inquiries are made of both men and women, the questions may still be suspect. Such information has been used to discriminate against women because of society’s general presumption that they are the primary care givers. If the employer’s concern is regular work attendance, a better question would be, “Is there anything that would interfere with regular attendance at work?”

 

Example of Illegal Questions

Possible Legal Alternatives

 

Are you married or do you have a permanent partner?

With whom do you live?

How many children do you have?

Are you pregnant?

Do you expect to become have

a family? When? How many children will you have?

What are your child care arrangements?

 

 

 

 

Would you be willing to relocate if necessary?

Travel is an important part of the job. Do you have any restrictions on your ability to travel?

Do you have responsibilities or commitments that will prevent you from meeting specified work schedules?

Do you anticipate any absences from work on a regular basis? If so, please explain the circumstances.

[theomega]

So are you saying they wouldn't hire you because you are single? Why is that?

[HopefulPA]

As a former HR guru let me set a few things straight.

 

1. Marital Status is not protected federally. It is however often a protected class either by State or City, so check with your state.

2. Keep in mind that not every employer has to follow either the Federal Title VII or State laws. Almost all employment law has a min # of employees in order for the employer to have to follow the law. "Title VII, the ADA, and GINA cover all private employers, state and local governments, and education institutions that employ 15 or more individuals." So if the doc you interviewed with wanted to hire only skinny, single, Christian, German, blonde, blue-eyed, white females under 40. it could be perfectly legal if their practice employs less than 15 employees.

 

I can tell you I went on an interview today and I was asked if I was married. And have often been asked if I am married or have kids, I usually respond by saying that I believe in having a balanced life and that my personal committments will not interfere with the job as it has been presented to me. This usually answers what they really should be asking which is can you work the times and days as outlined in the job description.

 

You can file a claim if you want but I will tell you it is a lot of wasted energy that will bear little fruit but a whole lot of stress for all involved. I recommend in the future you just answer something along the lines as above. And keep in mind if the "employer does discriminate based on whether or not an employee is single is that an employer you REALLY want to work for?"

[Guest Swennerb]

Thanks for everyones feedback- I appreciate it. Without going into details, the particular group I was previously employed with made many inquiries into my marital status, family situation, living situation- and insinuated that single people were more unstable and likely to move away, not good long term candidates, etc. I was treated differently and then I was laid off, so yes I needed to file a claim. It was a horrible inconvenience and degrading experience. I'm not saying everyone should file claims, but what I will say- is that there are alot of greedy, selfish, close minded people out there and if you are ever unfortunate enough to encounter them- I want you all to know that as people and professionals you are protected and you have rights as a human being. Just bc you are an employee at will does not mean you can discriminate against

someone. I will definitely answer these questions in the manner suggested by above.