tinal08 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I am now on my third time applying to UNM's PA school (interviewed the last two times), and I want to make sure this application does the trick. Please feel free to critique me as much as I need. I never have been the best writer. Their suggestion to me was to get a full time job working with patients, since I was previously working in a medical laboratory, so now that I am doing so I wanted to highlight that work and new experience within my essay. Thanks in advance for the input! The process of applying to Physician's Assistant programs is grueling. It takes time, commitment, and an incredible amount of preparation. I am grateful for the improvement periods I have been given, and I will be a better Physician's Assistant because of it. It is hard to receive a rejection, and even more difficult to receive it twice. However, it was the push I needed to change my situation. It was the push I needed to strive for more, because responsibility for patients is a necessary attribute to have, and it can't be taught. Working in clinical trials is not something I previously considered. When you have a degree in biology and have barely certified yourself in phlebotomy, the options are limited for where you can be most helpful to patients. Once I was told more about clinical trials and how instrumental they were to the medical community, I was overjoyed to receive an offer to work in such a place. The clinic that hired me taught me about having a lifetime career in medicine. The private clinic/clinical trials office was started by the late Dr. Steven Hsi. His entire family worked in medicine and his legacy has remained through his clinic ever since his passing. Meeting patients who remark on his great skill as a doctor intrigued me, and his wife Beth, now CEO, passed along a book to me which he published near the end of his life. Reading about his struggles as a practitioner turned patient left me with a deep desire to be more for my patients. It introduced me on how to be fully involved in their care, as all Physician's Assistants should. It would prepare me for the important task of treating patients who needed more than the standard treatment in their disease. Clinical trial patients are a unique group of people. Many have chronic conditions for which there is no ideal therapy. Some of my patients suffer through a migraine or more per week, along with that the debilitating effects of nausea, photophobia, and dizziness that knocks them off their feet. Most of my patients still find a way to care for their kids, work full time jobs, or be caretakers for other family members. They are never forced to take a medication and the stipend is only a small fee that they see at most, once or twice a month. Sometimes they have side effects that haven't been heard of before. But they still participate. They know that they are being trailblazers for other patients like themselves. They know how important clinical trials are in creating new treatments for diseases like their own. They are in all honesty, real life heroes, and helping them experience relief is what makes every single day joyful for me. When talking to my coworkers, we often have the same conversation. We are healthcare providers, excited to advance our educations so that we can do more in our field. Clinical Trials would be nothing without the patients, and I want to do be able to do more for them. Working one on one with a Physician's Assistant in caring for our patients has provided such a clarity for the completion of my goals. In doing so I will be able to provide primary care for those just discovering a painful condition, or I can help them manage an already debilitating one. I don't yet know which path I will follow, but as long as I can provide a meaningful environment where my patients feel safe and cared for, then I will have the most fulfilling career a person could ask for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiggySRNA Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I am now on my third time applying to UNM's PA school... The process of applying to Physician's Assistant programs This is probably why you're not succeeding at landing a seat. Then again, you're successful at getting interview offers. In relations to your personal statement. I understand what you do and your aspirations, but I know very little about you. You are involved in clinical trials, so what? What does this mean for you (get personal). What does this do for your future as a physician assistant/PA/clinician. What will you do for the future of PAs. But more importantly, what will you do for your patients with a PA degree that a NP/MD/DO/PsyD/MLT degree cannot do? PS. FWIW, I'm not even qualified yet to apply to PA schools, so take my advice with a grain of salt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
count.me.in Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I stopped at "Physician's Assistant" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tavenne323 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 First person vs Second person. Pick one. Tiffany Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PA_Hopeful2015 Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 @tinal08: First off, I salute your tenacity for continuing with the grueling process. As a future PA applicant, I cannot even fathom how difficult the process is. With that said, I agree with the previous poster that your personal statement does not explain much about YOU (especially the 4th paragraph). The Adcom may have suggested for you to take a full time position working with patients, but this does not mean your PS should entirely devote on this one particular experience -- unless this experience was the MAJOR factor for you to consider a career in the medical field as a PA. You received interview offers in the past, so I'm sure your previous personal statement(s) was(were) decent. I would suggest altering your original statement to include this new experience. Feel free to PM me or post your new statement on this page again. Good luck editing! NOTE: I've heard writing "Physician's Assistant" is one of the common mistakes, so make sure to write "Physician Assistant" instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tommyding Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 From my perspective, I feel like you've focused way too much on the clinical trials, and not enough on yourself. The personal statement is a sell on yourself as a possible PA in the future. There are a lot of questions you didn't address, such as why a PA and not a MD, or what makes the two different,etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SCHW9076 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Physician's Assistant? Really? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinal08 Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 Thanks for your input everybody. This was a very rough draft, so sorry for the misuse of PA. I promise you it was done right in the other essays I have submitted. I just wanted to see if this essay was going in the right direction or not, so I haven't gone back to my other essays to double check that part (yet!). Now I think I want to find a way to incorporate my older essays with the experiences outlined in this one, then I will repost. Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinal08 Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 So I have gone back to my previous essay and used it to incorporate my new experiences and reasons for wanting to become a PA. I do think this is a much better version than my last one, but I'm sure it still needs to work. Please let me know what you think! As a child I watched my mother work with patients of all different backgrounds. As a physical therapist, she treated adults, teenagers, and toddlers who simply needed assistance in finding their motor skills. Her work was so intriguing to me that I would find myself trying to be involved in her visits. I would often watch her and think, "I want to help those who can't help themselves", but I didn't quite understand what career path I wanted to follow. My own personal experience with healthcare is one of many which helped me find my career path. As a child I encountered many Physician Assistants and Nurse Practitioners whom I always thought were Physicians. Through these experiences the PAs treated me with a wealth of knowledge and connected with me on a personal level, opening my eyes to the PA career. The teamwork that they demonstrated with a supervising physician really attracted me to the profession because I felt especially cared for knowing that a team of providers was working to better my health. I became envious of the PA profession and the immense amount of medical knowledge they demonstrated, and my shadowing experience with Breathe America only exemplified that. Throughout my journey in preparing for a career in healthcare, I had many opportunities which reaffirmed my decision to become a PA. The most important in cementing this decision has been my work as a clinical research assistant. I have had the opportunity to work with patients before, but only in a volunteer setting. Assisting in the emergency room helped me experience a busy healthcare setting, but it did not help me much with patient care. As a clinical research assistant I have had my first opportunity to see patients everyday, and be highly involved in their care. Clinical trial patients are a unique group of people. Many have chronic conditions for which there is no ideal therapy. As a research assistant, I am at the front lines for getting those patients a new treatment which may not only benefit them, but also the future of patients in similar situations. In this environment, I work with a team to help my patients. I work with a variety of practitioners in managing their care during trials, and that relationship has mimicked that of a PA and MD. I enjoy the autonomy I have in patient visits, but I thrive from the interaction with my supervising physician in making decisions regarding their health. Furthering my education is the exciting next step in being able to provide complete care for my patients, and providing care in my underserved community. Having a dynamic career in the healthcare field has been my goal for a long time, since witnessing my mother's patience as a PT. I have sought professional opportunities which aided in the development of transferable skills and I have observed health care practitioners which have further clarified my goals. While these experiences have been instrumental in my decision, I believe my own passion and dedication is what will make me a promising addition to a Physician Assistant Program. Doing so will give me the ultimate gratification because there is no better feeling than the one received while healing others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cordelia*8 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Responsibility is not an attribute, you are using the word incorrectly. Lots of instances where you could take out words and still get your point across, though the content strikes me as too limited. I agree with the other commenters that there should be less about clinical trials and more about why you want to be a PA as opposed to any other type of healthcare provider. Also, if you just write out physician assistant the first time followed by (PA) you can use the abbreviation throughout the rest of the essay and save youself characters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinal08 Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 Cordelia, is this in response to the revision or the original post? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cordelia*8 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Original, though I read the revised and would say it still needs quite a bit of tweaking in the use of language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinal08 Posted July 2, 2015 Author Share Posted July 2, 2015 Does anyone have any suggestions for the newest version? Is it a much better direction? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PA_Hopeful2015 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Yes, it is definitely better than the first version on this post. It's great to see that you have incorporated other parts of your experiences into your essay. It does need more editing as mentioned by cordelia. In your 4th paragraph, I like how you explained how working in a clinical trial has influenced your decision. High five! Feel free to post any other edits you have -- you definitely are moving in the right direction! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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