How do I fight discouragement?

[QuirkyMedKid]

I'm a third year undergrad. My original degree was a BA in biochemistry but our school's program recently released a new Molecular Biology/ Biotechnology degree that I switched to because I want something with more real world application in case I don't make it into PA school. However, my other reason is to avoid another semester of biochem. My current problem is that it still requires a semester of biochem and lab. I don't want to blame the instructor but they are ineffective for this course and there's been numerous complaints through the years about them. I was even told by older students as a sophomore to switch or get out while I could, not because the class is difficult content-wise but it is disorganized and hard to follow. I've went into two tests thinking I know what I'm doing, and I've gotten an 82% and today, a 68.5%. The grading method is inconsistent (some people get docked harder than others), and things that we were told not to study ended up on the test. Needless to say, I cried in a bathroom stall for ten minutes. My homework and quizzes won't buffer it either; I've been battling depression and anxiety all semester that have hampered my general output. Lab is also a nightmare; the protocols get changed constantly, and we are treated like it's a chemistry grad school (we have to make our own concentrations for thing, tally things that I didn't know I was expected to do, etc.). I usually literally have no idea what's going on in lab, even if I've tried doing figures with the instructor before hand. I've had three panic attacks in a semester to the point where I had to leave to go deep breathe and cry because I'm so ashamed I can't keep my cool around the other students.

 

I'm at a loss. I didn't even know if I wanted to be a PA for awhile but I went back to a hospital to volunteer and realized how much I love it. Part of me doesn't want to do the PA route because I don't want to get discouraged and waste 3 or 4 years trying to compete with cookie-cutter students and CMT veterans until I'm forced to find some po-dunk lab job and hate myself for the next 50 years. I don't want to do nursing (I'm a CNA and I see what they do; it doesn't appeal to me), and I'm obviously not cut out for med school. I'm really lost and upset right now. I have a 3.68 GPA as of right now, maybe a little over 50 hours of volunteer, and about 400 hours of CNA. The chances of me getting Cs in biochem and biochem lab are pretty high. I'm having a "quarter-life crisis." What do I do at this point?

[hrubenstein]

Deep breaths my friend. We all have our moments we get discouraged.

 

Some things I do when I get like this:

 

1.) take a njght off. Try your best to relax and gather yourself. I know you think if you relax one night you'll be a failure but trust an Internet stranger, you won't be.

 

2.) take things step by step. I know you feel your biochem class is unfair and maybe it is but try to work with it. You've seen two exams and maybe you have a better idea of what to expect for the final, what kind of information is expected of you.

 

3.) give yourself credit. I don't know what you think a cookie cutter applicant is but a 3.68 gpa with a biochem major sounds fantastic and I know more than just a few schools would love to have you. A c grade in biochem won't destroy you either. Relax dude everything's gonna be okay just keep up the solid work.

[QuirkyMedKid]

Thank you. It just seems like there's so much competition that I feel like I'm doomed from the get go. When I say cookie-cutter, I mean: 3.8 gpa, president of something or another, 1500+ healthcare experience hours, some interesting mission trip to a 3rd world country. All I do is tutor 3 hours a work, work in a lab for 6 hours a week, and do stuff for the chem club once in awhile. 

[Patho]

I don't know how old you are, but just so you know, the average age for students entering PA school is 28; they usually apply after working in some area of healthcare and now desire to take a more active role in patient care. Also from what I've read on this forum and students I've met, a lot of people don't do so well in undergrad and work their way into acceptance, time is definitely on your side. 

 

Just knowing that you want to be a PA while you're still in undergrad, I'd said you're already ahead of the game. I would recommend graduate, find a full time job, work for a year or two, get some connections, make some mistakes, learn from them, then apply. Life does not end if you don't get into PA school right out of undergrad. 

 

Just a bit about me, I got a D in biochem, instructor was new, didn't stick with original curriculum, over a hundred students petitioned to get him removed, and the director of the chemistry department had to hold a meeting to calm everyone down. Sucked big time, but I retook biochem that summer, aced it, took clinical biochem, aced it, and on I went. Graduated with 3.3, worked, took some more classes, learned some stuff, connected with some people, applied, accepted. I don't mean to make it so sound so simple, but just do what you have to and move on from things that didn't turn out so well. There's 180+ PA programs, if you wanted to get in, you will.

[EMEDPA]

apply to places that don't require biochem and keep working on the HCE. your gpa is fine.

[UGoLong]

I think one impediment is thinking that there is only one path to get to your objective. In reality, there are a very large number; many PAs followed different paths to the same end.

 

The best advice I can give is to run your own race. The course will be different than everyone else's but that difference is what makes it your life and not theirs. Do your best and, once a test or a class has flashed by, it's in the past. The only thing that makes a difference is what you are going to do next.

 

Good luck.