Help on PS!

[PAhopeful13]

I wrote this last year and I'm having a hard time coming up with a new PS, I've done more volunteer work since last year, finished the pre-reqs, and graduated. I'm not sure if I should just adjust this Personal statement or keep it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks and good luck to all! The Physician Assistant I shadowed in my dermatology office was performing an excision on a patient's upper back. Her background in plastic surgery was quite evident in her intricate suture skills. I studied her methodically, fascinated as she pushed the cyst up and down, and sideways to determine the best way to remove the lesion and minimize scar length. The elegance of her technique and moreover, her commitment to patient care stood out to me. That day, in particular, motivated me to pursue a career as a Physician Assistant.

Physician Assistants are entrusted with a number of responsibilities: they are allowed to perform physicals, order lab work/scans, and make diagnoses. Most importantly, Physician Assistants work closely with patients throughout their care, providing education and support under the mentorship of a physician. My motivation to educate in a clinical setting much relates to my passion for tutoring in academia. In college, I greatly enjoyed imparting my knowledge to help someone else achieve his or her own successes. I've always seen myself in a collaborative environment. Physician Assistants are part of a team setting, whether in the hospital or office.

When I was young, my family and I would watch sports together as bonding time. I honed my listening skills at an early age through conversations with my father about different athletes. He would ask my brother and I our opinion on the game's outcome. Without any influence from the professional commentary, I formulated my own analyses. In many ways, this exercise required me to develop a sense of concentration (to extract pertinent information from the game) and a sense of empathy (as I put myself in each player's shoes).

My empathy for others evolved into a passion for medicine, as I encountered personal hardship. For example, when my grandmother was sick in Iran, I would speak to her on the phone and felt such a strong desire to be with her, but ultimately, was unable. I felt quite helpless being so far away. These circumstances pushed me to understand why she was not feeling well always, what was going on in her body that was leading to her discomfort. I wanted a deeper understanding of her health, which fostered a curiosity in the onset and presentation of diseases, and how they were linked.

Since I started working in a pharmacy in 2001, I have always been interested in how the body metabolizes medications. I familiarized myself with drug names, their mechanism of action, and their function. My later courses in college also supplemented this information. Working as a medical assistant in the gastroenterology surgical center and in an office allowed me to develop a medical skill set. I assisted the nurses with measuring blood pressure, taking out IV's, and educating patients post-surgery. I also scheduled different procedures and discuss with them what to expect. Shortly after that, I worked for surgery and wound care, where I continued to hone these skills. I would take patients' histories and teach them the benefits of good wound care. I also assisted the surgeon with yearly mammograms. I am currently still working in the field of general and cosmetic dermatology. I educate my patients, being as thorough as possible regarding what to expect pre, during, and post procedures. I have noticed that my commitment to their health has greatly decreases patients' anxieties, especially if it is their first time.

I have derived so much from these varied experiences with Physician Assistants. However, in particular, I have noticed that they all were knowledgeable, humble, approachable, and willing to help with a smile, which has truly reinforced my desire to want to become a Physician's Assistant. I have always loved to service to humankind. Working as a medical assistant was one stepping stone and working on my bachelor's degree has been another. I feel like the next step for me is to pursue a career as a Physician Assistant, in order to have greater responsibility and perhaps, a greater contribution to patient care. If chosen, I hope to inspire others to follow what I perceive as a highly gratifying path. I look forward to refining my skills and building on new ones in an effort to become a proficient Physician Assistant.

[PAhopeful13]

I wrote this last year and I'm having a hard time coming up with a new PS, I've done more volunteer work since last year, finished the pre-reqs, and graduated. I'm not sure if I should just adjust this Personal statement or keep it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks and good luck to all! The Physician Assistant I shadowed in my dermatology office was performing an excision on a patient's upper back. Her background in plastic surgery was quite evident in her intricate suture skills. I studied her methodically, fascinated as she pushed the cyst up and down, and sideways to determine the best way to remove the lesion and minimize scar length. The elegance of her technique and moreover, her commitment to patient care stood out to me. That day, in particular, motivated me to pursue a career as a Physician Assistant.

Physician Assistants are entrusted with a number of responsibilities: they are allowed to perform physicals, order lab work/scans, and make diagnoses. Most importantly, Physician Assistants work closely with patients throughout their care, providing education and support under the mentorship of a physician. My motivation to educate in a clinical setting much relates to my passion for tutoring in academia. In college, I greatly enjoyed imparting my knowledge to help someone else achieve his or her own successes. I've always seen myself in a collaborative environment. Physician Assistants are part of a team setting, whether in the hospital or office.

When I was young, my family and I would watch sports together as bonding time. I honed my listening skills at an early age through conversations with my father about different athletes. He would ask my brother and I our opinion on the game's outcome. Without any influence from the professional commentary, I formulated my own analyses. In many ways, this exercise required me to develop a sense of concentration (to extract pertinent information from the game) and a sense of empathy (as I put myself in each player's shoes).

My empathy for others evolved into a passion for medicine, as I encountered personal hardship. For example, when my grandmother was sick in Iran, I would speak to her on the phone and felt such a strong desire to be with her, but ultimately, was unable. I felt quite helpless being so far away. These circumstances pushed me to understand why she was not feeling well always, what was going on in her body that was leading to her discomfort. I wanted a deeper understanding of her health, which fostered a curiosity in the onset and presentation of diseases, and how they were linked.

Since I started working in a pharmacy in 2001, I have always been interested in how the body metabolizes medications. I familiarized myself with drug names, their mechanism of action, and their function. My later courses in college also supplemented this information. Working as a medical assistant in the gastroenterology surgical center and in an office allowed me to develop a medical skill set. I assisted the nurses with measuring blood pressure, taking out IV's, and educating patients post-surgery. I also scheduled different procedures and discuss with them what to expect. Shortly after that, I worked for surgery and wound care, where I continued to hone these skills. I would take patients' histories and teach them the benefits of good wound care. I also assisted the surgeon with yearly mammograms. I am currently still working in the field of general and cosmetic dermatology. I educate my patients, being as thorough as possible regarding what to expect pre, during, and post procedures. I have noticed that my commitment to their health has greatly decreases patients' anxieties, especially if it is their first time.

I have derived so much from these varied experiences with Physician Assistants. However, in particular, I have noticed that they all were knowledgeable, humble, approachable, and willing to help with a smile, which has truly reinforced my desire to want to become a Physician's Assistant. I have always loved to service to humankind. Working as a medical assistant was one stepping stone and working on my bachelor's degree has been another. I feel like the next step for me is to pursue a career as a Physician Assistant, in order to have greater responsibility and perhaps, a greater contribution to patient care. If chosen, I hope to inspire others to follow what I perceive as a highly gratifying path. I look forward to refining my skills and building on new ones in an effort to become a proficient Physician Assistant.

[PAhopeful13]

I wrote this last year and I'm having a hard time coming up with a new PS, I've done more volunteer work since last year, finished the pre-reqs, and graduated. I'm not sure if I should just adjust this Personal statement or keep it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks and good luck to all! The Physician Assistant I shadowed in my dermatology office was performing an excision on a patient's upper back. Her background in plastic surgery was quite evident in her intricate suture skills. I studied her methodically, fascinated as she pushed the cyst up and down, and sideways to determine the best way to remove the lesion and minimize scar length. The elegance of her technique and moreover, her commitment to patient care stood out to me. That day, in particular, motivated me to pursue a career as a Physician Assistant.

Physician Assistants are entrusted with a number of responsibilities: they are allowed to perform physicals, order lab work/scans, and make diagnoses. Most importantly, Physician Assistants work closely with patients throughout their care, providing education and support under the mentorship of a physician. My motivation to educate in a clinical setting much relates to my passion for tutoring in academia. In college, I greatly enjoyed imparting my knowledge to help someone else achieve his or her own successes. I've always seen myself in a collaborative environment. Physician Assistants are part of a team setting, whether in the hospital or office.

When I was young, my family and I would watch sports together as bonding time. I honed my listening skills at an early age through conversations with my father about different athletes. He would ask my brother and I our opinion on the game's outcome. Without any influence from the professional commentary, I formulated my own analyses. In many ways, this exercise required me to develop a sense of concentration (to extract pertinent information from the game) and a sense of empathy (as I put myself in each player's shoes).

My empathy for others evolved into a passion for medicine, as I encountered personal hardship. For example, when my grandmother was sick in Iran, I would speak to her on the phone and felt such a strong desire to be with her, but ultimately, was unable. I felt quite helpless being so far away. These circumstances pushed me to understand why she was not feeling well always, what was going on in her body that was leading to her discomfort. I wanted a deeper understanding of her health, which fostered a curiosity in the onset and presentation of diseases, and how they were linked.

Since I started working in a pharmacy in 2001, I have always been interested in how the body metabolizes medications. I familiarized myself with drug names, their mechanism of action, and their function. My later courses in college also supplemented this information. Working as a medical assistant in the gastroenterology surgical center and in an office allowed me to develop a medical skill set. I assisted the nurses with measuring blood pressure, taking out IV's, and educating patients post-surgery. I also scheduled different procedures and discuss with them what to expect. Shortly after that, I worked for surgery and wound care, where I continued to hone these skills. I would take patients' histories and teach them the benefits of good wound care. I also assisted the surgeon with yearly mammograms. I am currently still working in the field of general and cosmetic dermatology. I educate my patients, being as thorough as possible regarding what to expect pre, during, and post procedures. I have noticed that my commitment to their health has greatly decreases patients' anxieties, especially if it is their first time.

I have derived so much from these varied experiences with Physician Assistants. However, in particular, I have noticed that they all were knowledgeable, humble, approachable, and willing to help with a smile, which has truly reinforced my desire to want to become a Physician's Assistant. I have always loved to service to humankind. Working as a medical assistant was one stepping stone and working on my bachelor's degree has been another. I feel like the next step for me is to pursue a career as a Physician Assistant, in order to have greater responsibility and perhaps, a greater contribution to patient care. If chosen, I hope to inspire others to follow what I perceive as a highly gratifying path. I look forward to refining my skills and building on new ones in an effort to become a proficient Physician Assistant.

[TarheelGirlx3]

This really doesn't flow well...it's like you jump from story to story.

[TarheelGirlx3]

This really doesn't flow well...it's like you jump from story to story.

[TarheelGirlx3]

This really doesn't flow well...it's like you jump from story to story.

[patachok]

O.K.

First paragraph: rework from beginning to end. You start abruptly, off the wall. Feels like you just forgot to attach the beginning. You say "that day in particular"... implies there was something else that motivated you, talk about it.

 

Once you used Physician Assistant, put PA in (), and keep using PA throughout your essay.

"Work closely throughout their care"? Does not sound good, redo or get rid of!

"Mentorship of physician "? Better use supervision.

 

In general... You essay is very rumbled, lacking connections between paragraphs, and like previous comment says, does not flow well because you have disconnected paragraphs. So what that you saw one PA stitching some cyst? OK, she was doing her work well, but so do many people. May be tmr you will see a vet saving a dog's life in a graceful manner, and that would inspire you to treat animals! Do you know what I mean? It seems you have an ample amount of HC experience, and that is great! Not many people have that. So... use it to your advantage! I am sure you can come up with a better experience of PA/you interaction, that brought more inspiration into your life.

You mention something about your grandmother. May be come up with a story to better integrate it into your PS. You have to come up with something stronger.

Also, your language sometimes sounds funny. I myself am not a native speaker, so I am sure my essay had the same issues. My advice: completely rework/rewrite. Show to your writing center in school if you can. Show to 10 people, take their critique wisely, rewrite again. And do this till you feel that it is together.

Good luck!

[patachok]

O.K.

First paragraph: rework from beginning to end. You start abruptly, off the wall. Feels like you just forgot to attach the beginning. You say "that day in particular"... implies there was something else that motivated you, talk about it.

 

Once you used Physician Assistant, put PA in (), and keep using PA throughout your essay.

"Work closely throughout their care"? Does not sound good, redo or get rid of!

"Mentorship of physician "? Better use supervision.

 

In general... You essay is very rumbled, lacking connections between paragraphs, and like previous comment says, does not flow well because you have disconnected paragraphs. So what that you saw one PA stitching some cyst? OK, she was doing her work well, but so do many people. May be tmr you will see a vet saving a dog's life in a graceful manner, and that would inspire you to treat animals! Do you know what I mean? It seems you have an ample amount of HC experience, and that is great! Not many people have that. So... use it to your advantage! I am sure you can come up with a better experience of PA/you interaction, that brought more inspiration into your life.

You mention something about your grandmother. May be come up with a story to better integrate it into your PS. You have to come up with something stronger.

Also, your language sometimes sounds funny. I myself am not a native speaker, so I am sure my essay had the same issues. My advice: completely rework/rewrite. Show to your writing center in school if you can. Show to 10 people, take their critique wisely, rewrite again. And do this till you feel that it is together.

Good luck!

[patachok]

O.K.

First paragraph: rework from beginning to end. You start abruptly, off the wall. Feels like you just forgot to attach the beginning. You say "that day in particular"... implies there was something else that motivated you, talk about it.

 

Once you used Physician Assistant, put PA in (), and keep using PA throughout your essay.

"Work closely throughout their care"? Does not sound good, redo or get rid of!

"Mentorship of physician "? Better use supervision.

 

In general... You essay is very rumbled, lacking connections between paragraphs, and like previous comment says, does not flow well because you have disconnected paragraphs. So what that you saw one PA stitching some cyst? OK, she was doing her work well, but so do many people. May be tmr you will see a vet saving a dog's life in a graceful manner, and that would inspire you to treat animals! Do you know what I mean? It seems you have an ample amount of HC experience, and that is great! Not many people have that. So... use it to your advantage! I am sure you can come up with a better experience of PA/you interaction, that brought more inspiration into your life.

You mention something about your grandmother. May be come up with a story to better integrate it into your PS. You have to come up with something stronger.

Also, your language sometimes sounds funny. I myself am not a native speaker, so I am sure my essay had the same issues. My advice: completely rework/rewrite. Show to your writing center in school if you can. Show to 10 people, take their critique wisely, rewrite again. And do this till you feel that it is together.

Good luck!

[patachok]

Oh, and since you a reapplicant, you absolutely MUST mention in your PS what have you done in the past year to better yourself, and to increase your chances of getting in this time!

[patachok]

Oh, and since you a reapplicant, you absolutely MUST mention in your PS what have you done in the past year to better yourself, and to increase your chances of getting in this time!

[patachok]

Oh, and since you a reapplicant, you absolutely MUST mention in your PS what have you done in the past year to better yourself, and to increase your chances of getting in this time!

[PAhopeful13]

Ok, thank you all! I am so glad I got others opinions! I wanted to write about family having cancer, but I feel like everyone writes about that. So I was trying to be unique and different, by catching their attention with a story. I've been working since 2001 at a pharmacy and then gastroenterology, surgery/wound care, and now dermatology. So yes, while I have a lot of experience in H.C. and I will try to somehow figure out how to talk about that. I've heard that all this is already in your application, so you want to write something different in you PS. Now I officially know I know I can't use this PS, I'm going with my original thought, which was to write something completely different! I think I'm too worried about impressing the administrators. Thanks again guys!

[PAhopeful13]

Ok, thank you all! I am so glad I got others opinions! I wanted to write about family having cancer, but I feel like everyone writes about that. So I was trying to be unique and different, by catching their attention with a story. I've been working since 2001 at a pharmacy and then gastroenterology, surgery/wound care, and now dermatology. So yes, while I have a lot of experience in H.C. and I will try to somehow figure out how to talk about that. I've heard that all this is already in your application, so you want to write something different in you PS. Now I officially know I know I can't use this PS, I'm going with my original thought, which was to write something completely different! I think I'm too worried about impressing the administrators. Thanks again guys!