Sorry to keep posting, wanting to incorporate people's advice!

[TarheelGirlx3]

Hi guys, so I've heard what a few people are saying and I hope I have it all figured out this time (or at least getting much closer). I am not going to take out my situation with my mother, so please don't recommend that. Everything else is welcome, and thanks again!

 

“If you are building a Lego car, and the wheels will not move, why might this be? What could you do to fix it?” I read off this question to my fellow undergraduate researcher, as I was preparing diligently for my first lab assessment in the local elementary school. Even with the weeks of training under my belt, I had not yet realized the significance of this question. What more could I possibly learn from Legos? After all, part of my childhood was spent mastering the tallest, sturdiest Lego tower possible. Fifteen years later, however, I found myself with a fresh perspective—one I would have never expected. I was learning to build various Lego models that I would demonstrate to children. One in particular was a motorized car. As one would imagine, there were certain challenges the children, as well as myself encountered. For me, it was the wheels not moving. I had to continually reassess and change the pieces as necessary so that everything meshed as a cohesive unit.

 

Playing with Legos at the age of 21, I would soon understand the implication of the “why might the Lego car not move” question—it led me to the physician assistant profession. In January 2012, prior to entering my lab, my mother was diagnosed with leukemia and was rushed to NC Cancer Hospital to begin treatment. This was newly chartered territory for me. I was only a junior in college trying to keep my head above water. I had to juggle my course loads, extracurricular activities, and being with my mom. My mother’s gallant support throughout her own battle made something inside of me snap. I thought, “If she can be that strong, so can I.” Despite my past sub-par semesters, I had to reevaluate myself, and, just like the Lego car, I had to try new “pieces” to make it work.

 

While standing by my mother, I was exposed to the inner workings of a health care team. Because of the complications from her case, I met a plethora of medical professionals—physicians, physician assistants, nurse practitioners, and physical therapists, to name a few. Her hospital room often became a place of congregation for these providers. Not only was I given a center stage view of a health care team, but I was able to interact with them and learn more about their respective professions. I knew I wanted to work in healthcare, but up until that point I was not sure which career was the right fit for me. Kim, my mother’s PA, led me to further research the profession. I was captivated instantly, and knew nothing else would suffice.

 

After completing my own research, I realized the role of a physician assistant, in many ways, mirrors what I have gained from my lab experience. My lab entailed lengthy training and instruction followed by implementation of assigned tasks. As a PA I will be placed in a similar role. While almost any health care professional can fit into this mold, the PA is particularly appropriate since they must work within the realm of physician delegated autonomy. The training I will receive will equip me with the knowledge and skills needed to operate independently of constant supervision. Due to my research experience, I am familiar with using my own discretion when warranted, but simultaneously realizing that my responsibilities originate from elsewhere—in this case the physician. I am familiar with working as part of a team to achieve a common goal, much like the physician-physician assistant relationship. I have not only thrived, but received great satisfaction in this type of environment, which is why I whole-heartedly desire to be a PA.

 

If a situation necessitates change, such as the Lego wheels not moving, the components must be flexible to change. With more physicians entering into specialties, physician assistants will be critical for primary care. Their flexibility to practice in various fields of medicine contributes to their growing need. My utmost desire is to practice general medicine in an underserved area.

 

When my mother passed away in October 2012, the pieces of the puzzle all fell into place.

Much like the Lego car, I have learned to readjust and re-discipline myself when life throws me curves. This has only made me stronger, and confirmed my decision to be a physician assistant. Persevering through such a difficult time has given me the malleability demanded of a PA. If I had to predict my life a few years ago, I would have never considered the loss of my mother, nor the strength I would gain from the experience. However, I know that this journey has better prepared me for future struggles; I know I can face whatever life throws my way. Somewhere through the twists and turns I found self-confidence, steadfast strength, and determination that have prepared me to be a physician assistant.

[SarahChil]

I really like your story. I like that you express your strength, your ability to be flexible, and your recognition that these qualities are important as a PA. I do like the analogy to the legos- I think it's different. However, I would suggest consolidating this. Your first paragraph seems to go on for too long about the legos and is a bit confusing. I would dedicate the first paragraph to the lego story and introduce the idea here of "trying new pieces".

 

Do you have any health care experience that you can speak about as well? Since you only speak of the lab experience it makes it seem like you do not have any prior HCE.

[TarheelGirlx3]

Thanks, I appreciate the advice! As far as health care experience I have only volunteered at a hospital, and briefly shadowed 2 DOs. I will be shadowing a PA in the upcoming weeks and will start working as a CNA this summer to build up my required hours. And I'll keep consolidating the lego info, I just have a hard time compressing words when I get excited about something lol :) Do you think it would be best to just briefly mention that even though my health care experience is not extensive right now, that I have plans to build them up?

[SarahChil]

I would definitely incorporate something about your volunteer experience at the hospital. However, I would leave out the shadowing of the DOs. This might prompt some programs to question if you really want to be a PA or if you are settling on that over medical school. I would definitely include your plans to take a CNA course and gain additional health care experience through that field. Since at the time of submitting your application you won't have experience to report on your CASPA application your PS is the perfect place to let them know what you will be doing in the meantime to improve your application after submission!

[TarheelGirlx3]

Thanks, I wouldn't specifically mention DO, however the school that I mainly want to go to accepts shadowing a MD, DO, NP, or PA has acceptable patient contact, so do you think that it would be best to wait and submit my CASPA after shadowing the PA for a bit, then include that I've shadowed physicians and physician assistants?

[TarheelGirlx3]

How about this part added on to the next to last paragraph:

 

If a situation necessitates change, such as the Lego wheels not moving, the components must be flexible to change. With more physicians entering into specialties, physician assistants will be critical for primary care. Their flexibility to practice in various fields of medicine contributes to their growing need. My utmost desire is to practice general medicine in an underserved area. Although I currently do not have extensive, direct health care experience, shadowing a PA and physicians, volunteering at NC Hospitals in multiple departments, and receiving exposure during my mother’s care have all given me a basic foundation. This summer I will begin work as a nursing assistant to gain valuable patient contact experience.

[SarahChil]

I do think it would be beneficial to you if you could list on your CASPA application at least one shadowing experience with a PA. However, I would try to gain this experience ASAP. You do not want to end up waiting too long to have this experience. Honestly, APPLY AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE.

 

I do like your addition to the next to last paragraph. I suggest though not writing "Although I currently do not have extensive, direct health care experience" You do not want to present this as a weakness.

 

I would say something more along the lines of the time that you spend shadowing, volunteering, and exposure during your mother's care has peaked your interest, gave you insight into the profession, and has driven you to gain additional patient contact experience. You have enrolled in a CNA program beginning this summer and will work as a nursing assistant because this will allow you to gain valuable health care experience. Be as specific as possible. This will convey that you have actually researched this pathway, and have serious intentions of completing it.

[TarheelGirlx3]

Ok, thanks for all of the advice! I plan on shadowing a PA in like 2 weeks, so that shouldn't be a problem as far as including it on CASPA.

[patachok]

It is a great story. The only thing i would like to notice is the first sentence in the second paragraph, does not make much sense to me. As somebody mentioned, consolidate all Lego related story into the first paragraph, then slowly transition into everything else. Otherwise, good work.

Good luck!

[TarheelGirlx3]

Sorry I am really struggling trying to keep all of the same points, while consolidating. Does anyone have any specific suggestions? I can't figure out a way to make the first and second paragraph combine/flow. Any help is greatly appreciated!

[jbuff]

You did a great job tying the beginning with the conclusion through the legos story. Maybe try removing some of the information about the children and focus more on your experience with the lab. For example:

“If you are building a Lego car, and the wheels will not move, why might this be? What could you do to fix it?” I read off this question to my fellow undergraduate researcher, as I was preparing diligently for my first lab assessment in the local elementary school. Even with the weeks of training under my belt, I had not yet realized the significance of this question. Fifteen years later, however, I found myself with a fresh perspective—one I would have never expected. I was learning to build various Lego models that I would demonstrate to children. One in particular was a motorized car. As one would imagine, there were certain challenges we encountered. For me, it was the wheels not moving. I had to continually reassess and change the pieces as necessary so that everything meshed as a cohesive unit.

From reading the statement I see that you understand the PA profession, but I think you need to add more about your own experiences working with patients. Maybe talk about one experience and how it moved you further towards your desire to be a PA?

Hopefully this is helpful for you. Good luck!

[TarheelGirlx3]

Thanks jschmitt, I don't know why I haven't thought to step back and immediately tie in the first sentence to a patient example rather than mentioning children. I an working on it, I'll post again soon!

[Just Steve]

How about this part added on to the next to last paragraph:

 

If a situation necessitates change, such as the Lego wheels not moving, the components must be flexible to change. With more physicians entering into specialties, physician assistants will be critical for primary care. Their flexibility to practice in various fields of medicine contributes to their growing need. My utmost desire is to practice general medicine in an underserved area. Although I currently do not have extensive, direct health care experience, shadowing a PA and physicians, volunteering at NC Hospitals in multiple departments, and receiving exposure during my mother’s care have all given me a basic foundation. This summer I will begin work as a nursing assistant to gain valuable patient contact experience.

 

it is a small nuance but it caught my eye, may catch the eyes of others... You mention one PA but plural physicians. I find it less likely that you can gather a very broad scope /understanding of the variety of PA jobs and their responsibilities by only shadowing a single PA. If I sat on an Adcom, I would bring this up.

 

As a secondary point, that sentence doesn't flow well. It is a bit if a run on with two different subjects within it. You lead with not having experience then close the sentence stating your belief that you have a basic foundation.

 

Personally, I would change that structure to something like "I do not have extensive, direct health care experience. What I do have is the shadowing experience of following physicians and a PA coupled with the experience of volunteering at NC hospitals in a number of departments. I was also intensely involved with my mother's care, at her side, during the course of her treatment."

 

Me being a little OCD, if I was an Adcom member, I would ask in return "your statement is "...extensive, direct...". I understand your direct care is not extensive but other than helping your mother, what direct care do you have and what can you tell us about that experience?"

 

You don't have to answer here on this forum but you may want to file an answer away in your head in case you run into my doppelgänger during interviews...or, if applicable, drop the word extensive and simply say "other than the care I gave my mother, I do not have hands on patient care.

[nebula]

Quick nitpick: This was newly chartered territory for me.

It would be "newly charted" territory, not "chartered". Newly charted as in newly mapped. :) (variation on "uncharted territory".)

 

 

[TarheelGirlx3]

Great catch, thanks! :)

[TarheelGirlx3]

This was a very helpful critique, thank you! And I will most likely arrange shadowing with another PA, but the time my application is submitted (hopefully) it will only be 1 PA. So I could mention down at the bottom where I say I will work as an NA that I plan to shadow in different specialties. That way if I do get an interview and it comes up I can either update them then, or send an update if I shadow a new PA. Thanks again!

[TarheelGirlx3]

it is a small nuance but it caught my eye, may catch the eyes of others... You mention one PA but plural physicians. I find it less likely that you can gather a very broad scope /understanding of the variety of PA jobs and their responsibilities by only shadowing a single PA. If I sat on an Adcom, I would bring this up.

 

As a secondary point, that sentence doesn't flow well. It is a bit if a run on with two different subjects within it. You lead with not having experience then close the sentence stating your belief that you have a basic foundation.

 

Personally, I would change that structure to something like "I do not have extensive, direct health care experience. What I do have is the shadowing experience of following physicians and a PA coupled with the experience of volunteering at NC hospitals in a number of departments. I was also intensely involved with my mother's care, at her side, during the course of her treatment."

 

Me being a little OCD, if I was an Adcom member, I would ask in return "your statement is "...extensive, direct...". I understand your direct care is not extensive but other than helping your mother, what direct care do you have and what can you tell us about that experience?"

 

You don't have to answer here on this forum but you may want to file an answer away in your head in case you run into my doppelgänger during interviews...or, if applicable, drop the word extensive and simply say "other than the care I gave my mother, I do not have hands on patient care.

 

 

 

How does this sound?

 

If a situation necessitates change, such as the Lego wheels not moving, the components must be flexible to change. With more physicians entering into specialties, physician assistants will be critical for primary care. Their flexibility to practice in various fields of medicine contributes to their growing need. My utmost desire is to practice general medicine in an underserved area. Shadowing physicians and a PA, volunteering at NC Hospitals, and observing PAs during my mother’s illness have given me insight into the profession. Even though I was intensely involved in my mother’s care, I crave a deeper understanding of patient care. This summer I will work as a nursing assistant to gain direct patient contact hours, and I will shadow PAs in other specialties to gain a broader perspective.

 

The only thing that I am trying to reword is "I crave a deeper understanding of patient care." This just doesn't sound right to me, but for the rest of it I think this is a better portrayal.

[Just Steve]

I think that is a decent improvement. The "crave..." phrase....I think you are going to have to own that one. I can think of a few different ways to say it but this is a personal statement and "crave" is a personal word that comes forward in your personal mind.

[tholy1]

I had to read the first paragraph twice to understand, I would revise it!

[tholy1]

I had to read the first paragraph twice to understand, I would revise it!

[tholy1]

I had to read the first paragraph twice to understand, I would revise it!

[TarheelGirlx3]

This is the updated one....

 

 

"If you are building a Lego car, and the wheels will not move, why might this be? What could you do to fix it?" This question was part of my first lab assessment, where I would teach children about various Lego models. Admittedly, I wondered what more I could possibly learn from building with Legos. Even with the months of training under my belt, I had not yet realized the significance of this question. In order for the car to move I had to continually reassess and change the pieces as necessary so that everything meshed as a cohesive unit. I realized the impact the question, and answer, had in my life soon thereafter--it led me to the physician assistant profession. In January 2012, prior to entering my lab, my mother was diagnosed with leukemia and was rushed to the NC Cancer Hospital to begin treatment. This was newly charted territory for me and I was only a junior in college trying to keep my head above water. I had to juggle my course loads, extracurricular activities, and time with my mom. My mother's gallantry throughout her own battle made something inside of me snap. I thought, "If she can be that strong, so can I." Despite my past sub-par semesters, I had to reevaluate myself, and just like the Lego car, I had to try new "pieces" to make it work.

 

 

 

 

While standing by my mother, I was exposed to the inner workings of a health care team. Because of the complications from her case, I met a plethora of medical professionals--physicians, physician assistants, nurse practitioners, and physical therapists, to name a few. Her hospital room often became a place of congregation for these providers. Not only was I given a center stage view of a health care team, but I was able to interact with them and learn more about their respective professions. I knew I wanted to work in healthcare, but up until that point I was not sure which career was the right fit for me. Kim, my mother's PA, led me to further research the profession. I was captivated instantly, and knew nothing else would suffice.

 

 

 

I realized that the role of a physician assistant, in many ways, mirrors what I have gained from my lab experience. My lab entailed lengthy training and instruction followed by implementation of assigned tasks. As a PA I will be placed in a similar role. While almost any health care professional can fit into this mold, the PA is particularly appropriate since they must work within the realm of physician delegated autonomy. The training I will receive will equip me with the knowledge and skills needed to operate independently of constant supervision. Due to my research training, I have experience in using my own discretion when warranted, but simultaneously realizing that my responsibilities originate from elsewhere--in this case the physician. I am familiar with working as part of a team to achieve a common goal, much like the physician-physician assistant relationship. I have not only thrived, but received great satisfaction in this type of environment, which is why I whole-heartedly desire to be a PA.

 

 

 

 

If a situation necessitates change, such as the Lego wheels not moving, the components must be flexible to change. With more physicians entering into specialties, physician assistants will be critical for primary care. Their flexibility to practice in various fields of medicine contributes to their growing need. My utmost desire is to practice general medicine in an underserved area. Shadowing physicians and PAs, volunteering at NC Hospitals, and observing PAs during my mother's illness have given me insight into the profession. Although I was intensely involved in my mother's care, I crave a deeper understanding of providing patient care. This summer I will work as a nursing assistant to gain direct patient contact hours, and I will shadow PAs in other specialties to gain a broader perspective.

 

 

 

 

When my mother passed away in October 2012, the pieces of the puzzle all fell into place.

Much like the Lego car, I have learned to readjust and re-discipline myself when life poses challenges. This has only made me stronger, and confirmed my decision to be a physician assistant. Persevering through such a difficult time has given me the malleability demanded of a PA. If I had to predict my life a few years ago, I never would have considered the loss of my mother, nor the strength I would gain from the experience. However, I know that this journey has better prepared me for future struggles, and I know I can face whatever life throws my way. Somewhere through the twists and turns I found self-confidence, steadfast strength, and determination that have prepared me to be a physician assistant.

[TarheelGirlx3]

This is the updated one....

 

 

"If you are building a Lego car, and the wheels will not move, why might this be? What could you do to fix it?" This question was part of my first lab assessment, where I would teach children about various Lego models. Admittedly, I wondered what more I could possibly learn from building with Legos. Even with the months of training under my belt, I had not yet realized the significance of this question. In order for the car to move I had to continually reassess and change the pieces as necessary so that everything meshed as a cohesive unit. I realized the impact the question, and answer, had in my life soon thereafter--it led me to the physician assistant profession. In January 2012, prior to entering my lab, my mother was diagnosed with leukemia and was rushed to the NC Cancer Hospital to begin treatment. This was newly charted territory for me and I was only a junior in college trying to keep my head above water. I had to juggle my course loads, extracurricular activities, and time with my mom. My mother's gallantry throughout her own battle made something inside of me snap. I thought, "If she can be that strong, so can I." Despite my past sub-par semesters, I had to reevaluate myself, and just like the Lego car, I had to try new "pieces" to make it work.

 

 

 

 

While standing by my mother, I was exposed to the inner workings of a health care team. Because of the complications from her case, I met a plethora of medical professionals--physicians, physician assistants, nurse practitioners, and physical therapists, to name a few. Her hospital room often became a place of congregation for these providers. Not only was I given a center stage view of a health care team, but I was able to interact with them and learn more about their respective professions. I knew I wanted to work in healthcare, but up until that point I was not sure which career was the right fit for me. Kim, my mother's PA, led me to further research the profession. I was captivated instantly, and knew nothing else would suffice.

 

 

 

I realized that the role of a physician assistant, in many ways, mirrors what I have gained from my lab experience. My lab entailed lengthy training and instruction followed by implementation of assigned tasks. As a PA I will be placed in a similar role. While almost any health care professional can fit into this mold, the PA is particularly appropriate since they must work within the realm of physician delegated autonomy. The training I will receive will equip me with the knowledge and skills needed to operate independently of constant supervision. Due to my research training, I have experience in using my own discretion when warranted, but simultaneously realizing that my responsibilities originate from elsewhere--in this case the physician. I am familiar with working as part of a team to achieve a common goal, much like the physician-physician assistant relationship. I have not only thrived, but received great satisfaction in this type of environment, which is why I whole-heartedly desire to be a PA.

 

 

 

 

If a situation necessitates change, such as the Lego wheels not moving, the components must be flexible to change. With more physicians entering into specialties, physician assistants will be critical for primary care. Their flexibility to practice in various fields of medicine contributes to their growing need. My utmost desire is to practice general medicine in an underserved area. Shadowing physicians and PAs, volunteering at NC Hospitals, and observing PAs during my mother's illness have given me insight into the profession. Although I was intensely involved in my mother's care, I crave a deeper understanding of providing patient care. This summer I will work as a nursing assistant to gain direct patient contact hours, and I will shadow PAs in other specialties to gain a broader perspective.

 

 

 

 

When my mother passed away in October 2012, the pieces of the puzzle all fell into place.

Much like the Lego car, I have learned to readjust and re-discipline myself when life poses challenges. This has only made me stronger, and confirmed my decision to be a physician assistant. Persevering through such a difficult time has given me the malleability demanded of a PA. If I had to predict my life a few years ago, I never would have considered the loss of my mother, nor the strength I would gain from the experience. However, I know that this journey has better prepared me for future struggles, and I know I can face whatever life throws my way. Somewhere through the twists and turns I found self-confidence, steadfast strength, and determination that have prepared me to be a physician assistant.

[TarheelGirlx3]

This is the updated one....

 

 

"If you are building a Lego car, and the wheels will not move, why might this be? What could you do to fix it?" This question was part of my first lab assessment, where I would teach children about various Lego models. Admittedly, I wondered what more I could possibly learn from building with Legos. Even with the months of training under my belt, I had not yet realized the significance of this question. In order for the car to move I had to continually reassess and change the pieces as necessary so that everything meshed as a cohesive unit. I realized the impact the question, and answer, had in my life soon thereafter--it led me to the physician assistant profession. In January 2012, prior to entering my lab, my mother was diagnosed with leukemia and was rushed to the NC Cancer Hospital to begin treatment. This was newly charted territory for me and I was only a junior in college trying to keep my head above water. I had to juggle my course loads, extracurricular activities, and time with my mom. My mother's gallantry throughout her own battle made something inside of me snap. I thought, "If she can be that strong, so can I." Despite my past sub-par semesters, I had to reevaluate myself, and just like the Lego car, I had to try new "pieces" to make it work.

 

 

 

 

While standing by my mother, I was exposed to the inner workings of a health care team. Because of the complications from her case, I met a plethora of medical professionals--physicians, physician assistants, nurse practitioners, and physical therapists, to name a few. Her hospital room often became a place of congregation for these providers. Not only was I given a center stage view of a health care team, but I was able to interact with them and learn more about their respective professions. I knew I wanted to work in healthcare, but up until that point I was not sure which career was the right fit for me. Kim, my mother's PA, led me to further research the profession. I was captivated instantly, and knew nothing else would suffice.

 

 

 

I realized that the role of a physician assistant, in many ways, mirrors what I have gained from my lab experience. My lab entailed lengthy training and instruction followed by implementation of assigned tasks. As a PA I will be placed in a similar role. While almost any health care professional can fit into this mold, the PA is particularly appropriate since they must work within the realm of physician delegated autonomy. The training I will receive will equip me with the knowledge and skills needed to operate independently of constant supervision. Due to my research training, I have experience in using my own discretion when warranted, but simultaneously realizing that my responsibilities originate from elsewhere--in this case the physician. I am familiar with working as part of a team to achieve a common goal, much like the physician-physician assistant relationship. I have not only thrived, but received great satisfaction in this type of environment, which is why I whole-heartedly desire to be a PA.

 

 

 

 

If a situation necessitates change, such as the Lego wheels not moving, the components must be flexible to change. With more physicians entering into specialties, physician assistants will be critical for primary care. Their flexibility to practice in various fields of medicine contributes to their growing need. My utmost desire is to practice general medicine in an underserved area. Shadowing physicians and PAs, volunteering at NC Hospitals, and observing PAs during my mother's illness have given me insight into the profession. Although I was intensely involved in my mother's care, I crave a deeper understanding of providing patient care. This summer I will work as a nursing assistant to gain direct patient contact hours, and I will shadow PAs in other specialties to gain a broader perspective.

 

 

 

 

When my mother passed away in October 2012, the pieces of the puzzle all fell into place.

Much like the Lego car, I have learned to readjust and re-discipline myself when life poses challenges. This has only made me stronger, and confirmed my decision to be a physician assistant. Persevering through such a difficult time has given me the malleability demanded of a PA. If I had to predict my life a few years ago, I never would have considered the loss of my mother, nor the strength I would gain from the experience. However, I know that this journey has better prepared me for future struggles, and I know I can face whatever life throws my way. Somewhere through the twists and turns I found self-confidence, steadfast strength, and determination that have prepared me to be a physician assistant.

[atheaslet]

I would try to expand a little on why you want to work in an underserved/rural area. If you just throw it in there it sounds like one of those statements that sounds good in writing but you never intend to follow through with or at least weigh heavily as an option down the line. Even one sentence backing up why you would fit well or why you want to would solve it.