Fiscal Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 What a great community, I've been a lurker for sometime now. I had my calling to pursue medicine as a career last year. My son was diagnosed with a genetic liver disease, Alpha 1 anti trypsin deficiency. Recently end stage liver disease has approached, he has had a few episodes of ascites, spontaneous bacterial peritonitis, and a esophageal verice bleed. He has been listed for transplant, andis doing fine currently. All of this time in the hospital I have been mesmerized by the teams care of my son, and absolutely love listening to the interaction during rounds. Everytime I just know that I want to be involved, it's a great feeling. To get to my question, is it natural to be anxious when involved with medical scenarios? I witnessed a man collapse from a heart attack and I was affected by an anxiety attack with slight hyperventilation. Do you have to be inherently positive in these situations to become a PA, or is it something that can be managed. I guess my question boils down to, have any PAs in this community dealt with anxiety issues early on in their career process and pursued the career anyway? Thanks for your time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rcdavis Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 You have some serious issues in your life with your son... The degree of anxiety you are currently dealing with is phenomenal... You can handle stress very well, thank you. What happened to you is probably two fold: 1. The event was a human event which you had not dealt with before.. Someone was dying, and you could do nothing, you knew nothing about what was happening, Yada Yada... All of which were anxiety evoking. And 2. Someone was dying. Struck home closer than you realized. My mom died of lung cancer. Despite years of practice and experiencing death and telling folks "bad news", when I had to tell a new patient he appeared to have an advanced lung cancer one month after my mom died, I simply started to cry. The event interlaced with my personal life. Just as the potentially fatal heart attack did you current situation... Don't let it phase you. Continue getting your ducks in a row, and if you want to become a PA, do so. The anxiety will not be a go- no go for you. V/r davis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmj11 Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 Anxiety is a treatable (not curable-- cognitive therapy works best) disorder if indeed you do have it ( meaning more than just a normal anxiety reaction to your life). Like davis said, don't let it determine what you do. If you want a really good (and funny) book on anxiety, I recommend Monkey Mind by Daniel Smith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaepora Posted September 25, 2012 Share Posted September 25, 2012 Having a son with A1AT is something that many people will never be able to understand. I agree with rcdavis on this. I'm sure it was a mix of it being an emotional event in and of itself, with the added personal contributions. I cried the first time I had one of my patients die. He was a gsw to the head and was brought into the ED that I was rotating through. I did compressions until we got a rhythm back, but he had a transtentorial herniation and loss of grey white differentiation. So for an hour or so I was just pushing bicarb and epi to keep his organs perfused (and then his wife went into labor on top of it all). When it was all over and his family was brought back to see his body, I stepped out of the room and it all just caught up with me - it bothered me for days. If you work in health care there will be plenty of times where you might feel overwhelmed. You do learn how to cope and deal with it as you gain more experiences. Since then I've had a few more patients pass and I've come to the point where I can handle it much better. I wouldn't let it be a huge diversion for you if it's what you truly want to do. Good luck to your son and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiscal Posted September 26, 2012 Author Share Posted September 26, 2012 Thanks for the kind words and positive responses. I would like to expand a bit, if I may. A little background, it may provide context. I am currently enlisted in the Air Force, I'll be hitting 6 years time in service in March. I am currently in communications, but I recently got picked up for a special duty as a recruiter. I'll be in a small town an hour east of Atlanta, the work load will be slow so I am going to take this time to finish up the pre reqs for the enlisted to PA program through the Air Force. My son was diagnosed with A1AT when he was only 1 year old, with the ZZ phenotype, the docs at the time told us some kids can live their entire lives with the disease and be okay, but after digging deep I came to the realization that more than likely we will hit complications down the road. Anyway, he is 5 years old now and just recently started the end stage stuff last year. Fortunately we have a great team here at Seattle Children's, but will soon transfer to Children's Healthcare of Atlanta. The stressful stuff just started and there is a tough road ahead, but he his a tough kiddo :) I am going to merge this into the anxiety portion, and I promise I am not using you guys as a therapy session :P The heart attack episode I witnessed was during a combat medicine course I was taking to prep for a deployment a few years ago. We were viewing a clip of a pig's artery being cut and applying quick clot bandages to stop the bleed. I was naturally uneasy feeling with some of the material, stuff like this always makes me a bit anxious. Then an older gentleman in the class fell over with no pulse. That is when the anxiety attack hit and I started hyperventilating. A lot of people's reaction was to help, mine was to step outside. Hyperventilation has been a common theme with my anxiety. I would like to provide one more example that has happened, again for context. Once, while driving with a passenger in the car, I began these really weird series of statements in my head dealing with hyperventilation. It went something like this. "Man, if I were to hyperventilate right now I could be responsible for a pretty serious accident". "I know that when hyperventilating, the body will say lights out dummy, let me correct your breathing." "That wouldn't be good if I passed out right now, that could be catastrophic since I am behind the wheel". Then, as a result, I triggered an anxious feeling and started hyperventilating. The anxiety passed, and a relief sensation made me feel much better. This happened before any of the end stage stuff with my son began. Haha, after re reading through this, it sounds like I need to be in a psych ward, but these are isolated incidents, I just wanted to present them to see if anyone thinks something like this would prevent me from pursuing medicine. GI specialty sort of naturally interests me now, as well as hospitalist. In theory, PA is everything I want. I just know that right now, some medicine scenarios make me uneasy. Thanks for listening :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Paula Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 The important thing as you go through PA school is to figure out where and what type of practice you want to be in. You might not be gifted for emergency situations, but will be the best GI specialist or hospitalist. And you can learn how to be part of a resuscitation team and perform the part that you do best, whatever that is. It might be that you are the one counseling the family while the resuscitation is going on. Your anxiety should not prevent you from pursuing medicine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmj11 Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Thanks for the kind words and positive responses. I would like to expand a bit, if I may. A little background, it may provide context. I am currently enlisted in the Air Force, I'll be hitting 6 years time in service in March. I am currently in communications, but I recently got picked up for a special duty as a recruiter. I'll be in a small town an hour east of Atlanta, the work load will be slow so I am going to take this time to finish up the pre reqs for the enlisted to PA program through the Air Force. My son was diagnosed with A1AT when he was only 1 year old, with the ZZ phenotype, the docs at the time told us some kids can live their entire lives with the disease and be okay, but after digging deep I came to the realization that more than likely we will hit complications down the road. Anyway, he is 5 years old now and just recently started the end stage stuff last year. Fortunately we have a great team here at Seattle Children's, but will soon transfer to Children's Healthcare of Atlanta. The stressful stuff just started and there is a tough road ahead, but he his a tough kiddo :) I am going to merge this into the anxiety portion, and I promise I am not using you guys as a therapy session :P The heart attack episode I witnessed was during a combat medicine course I was taking to prep for a deployment a few years ago. We were viewing a clip of a pig's artery being cut and applying quick clot bandages to stop the bleed. I was naturally uneasy feeling with some of the material, stuff like this always makes me a bit anxious. Then an older gentleman in the class fell over with no pulse. That is when the anxiety attack hit and I started hyperventilating. A lot of people's reaction was to help, mine was to step outside. Hyperventilation has been a common theme with my anxiety. I would like to provide one more example that has happened, again for context. Once, while driving with a passenger in the car, I began these really weird series of statements in my head dealing with hyperventilation. It went something like this. "Man, if I were to hyperventilate right now I could be responsible for a pretty serious accident". "I know that when hyperventilating, the body will say lights out dummy, let me correct your breathing." "That wouldn't be good if I passed out right now, that could be catastrophic since I am behind the wheel". Then, as a result, I triggered an anxious feeling and started hyperventilating. The anxiety passed, and a relief sensation made me feel much better. This happened before any of the end stage stuff with my son began. Haha, after re reading through this, it sounds like I need to be in a psych ward, but these are isolated incidents, I just wanted to present them to see if anyone thinks something like this would prevent me from pursuing medicine. GI specialty sort of naturally interests me now, as well as hospitalist. In theory, PA is everything I want. I just know that right now, some medicine scenarios make me uneasy. Thanks for listening :P I just want to comment that I read your first post in a rush with people talking to me at the same time and I missed the whole story about your son and just read the second paragraph about your anxiety. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about your son and can't imagine what a roller coaster ride it must be emotional, speaking as a father. Certainly Seattle childrens is a special place and I interact with them often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator ventana Posted September 26, 2012 Moderator Share Posted September 26, 2012 anxiety makes you a better provider - makes you worry and focus on improvement! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoClinic4Me Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 Everyone gets anxious in those types of situations. What's important is that the anxiety not "take over". Overwhelming anxiety during a pressure laden situation could be detrimental to patients, especially the longer the duration. What you describe does not sound like that to me. Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiscal Posted September 29, 2012 Author Share Posted September 29, 2012 Again, the positive responses are great, I feel much more comfortable about everything already! In fact, since starting this thread I've already begun knocking out my pre-reqs for the Air Force IPAP program. I have a 4 year tour as an Air Force recruiter starting in January, that should be plenty of time to finish up my sciences and get my application in. In the meantime, I hope to milk all the knowledge I can from this community. Thanks again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiscal Posted September 29, 2012 Author Share Posted September 29, 2012 I just want to comment that I read your first post in a rush with people talking to me at the same time and I missed the whole story about your son and just read the second paragraph about your anxiety. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about your son and can't imagine what a roller coaster ride it must be emotional, speaking as a father. Certainly Seattle childrens is a special place and I interact with them often. Ah, yes, Seattle Children's is indeed a special place, some really great people there. My son definitely keeps us on our toes, he is a tough one though, and fortunately when he isn't having any complications (they are few and far between) he is as healthy as any other 5 year old. In fact, Seattle Children's hooked us up with a Make-A-Wish volunteer -- the organization is sending us to enjoy Disney World in November. Absolutely incredible that an organization like that exists. Anyway, very cool that you are in the local area here. If you ever have any shadowing opportunities I would love to hear from you! Take Care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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