250 word personal statement REVISED! criticism welcomed!

[egnewber]

For the ESSAY section below, write a brief essay of 250 words or less explaining the reason for your choice of the Physician Assistant Program, past related experiences, and why you believe you are a good candidate for the profession

 

My first meaningful experience practicing medicine came as a teenager when I started volunteering with EMS. Although the medical skills I acquired were important, I developed other invaluable skills that were applicable in all areas of my life – I learned how to work under stress, maturity, compassion, communication skills, and professionalism. As a crewmember, I saw my crew chief as more of an equal, someone to bounce ideas off of and to give a different perspective, rather than just someone to give instructions. In essence, I enjoyed working together with my partner to care for a patient.

 

However, while I still greatly enjoy working as an EMT, I am ready to further my education and accept more responsibility in order to provide more for my patients. To explore this desire, I started shadowing a PA. As I watched him interact with patients and collaborate with physicians, I was excited to see that the relationship between a PA and their supervising physician is the same as the relationship between my crew chief and me. It was then that I was certain a career as a PA is the right one for me. I can provide a high level of care for my patients working alongside other professionals to determine the best treatment plan, while also maintaining balance between my career and family life. My experiences have taught me the true meaning of the phrase “healthcare team,” and I am ready to take on a greater role to care for my patients.

[Just Steve]

first impression?

 

meh

 

You were an EMT, worked as a team, and did some shadowing. Same as 70% of the other applicants. AdComs can select a ton of EMTs...why should the EMT they select be you? Yeah.. you work under stress, maturity, compassion, communication skills, and professionalism... just like all the other applicants. Can you give a good, outstanding example of when you did this stuff? I can tell you I flew to the moon on a rocket of my own design but without supporting evidence or example, it's just a story. Can you exemplify you being a patient advocate, standing up for your patient, taking extraordinary care (I don't mean hand holding and wiping their brow...I'm talking pushing the limits of you protocols because it's what the patient needed...any leadership examples where you directed that health care team you worked on? I understand you had a crew chief over you but did you ever split the crew on a scene with multiple patients?

 

That line about maintaining a balance between your career and family life is overdone. It thinly masks that you feel PAs have an easier life than other providers and get more time at home. Docs hire PAs to free up their own time to either spend more time with their own family, or to expand their practice and make more money. They don't hire PAs so the PA can make some pocket change while nursing a 25 hour work week. Yes, some PAs do have a cush gig. Of the dozen or so PAs I know, I'd say 80% of them work less than a 40 hour work week. However, mentioning that you want the easy life in your admission essay is a bit bold I think. Use those words to describe yourself as a hard charging go getter who has been tempered by fire and ready to work.