ginya1977 Posted May 31, 2012 Share Posted May 31, 2012 Please critique my personal statement. I am a re-applicant hoping for more interview offers this cycle. Thanks! Aeger primo, meaning “the patient first,” is the motto of the Association of Surgical Technologists. Each day in the operating room, I am constantly reminded why I decided to pursue physician assistant studies – the patient. For example, there is nothing more gratifying than witnessing the elation and sobs of happiness from new parents when they meet their newborn infant following a cesarean section. Cesarean sections are among my favorite surgeries to assist on because, most of the time, the patient is awake (having received a spinal block), and I am able to talk to the patient throughout the case. In fact, if there was anything I could change about my current profession as a surgical technologist, it would be more patient interaction. As a physician assistant, I look forward being able to interview my own patients, diagnose their ailments, and develop treatment plans. Originally an athletic trainer, I enjoyed days in the training room interacting with my patients rather than standing on the sidelines waiting for something to happen. As a result, I decided to study surgical technology and market myself to orthopedic surgeons to offer services as a physician extender. By becoming knowledgeable in various orthopedic surgeries and the OR environment I theorized, I would be able to assist in the operating room in addition to utilizing my athletic training skills in the office. However, as I became familiar with each of the surgical specialties, I discovered that surgery is my passion, and I did not want to limit myself to orthopedics. The physician assistant profession is appealing to me because of the medical model of training, and I take comfort in knowing that I would be able to transfer to another area of healthcare should the opportunity arise. Rejection is never easy, especially when you are forced to put your dreams on hold. However, not getting accepted into a physician assistant program on my first attempt only intensifies my ambition. Once my feelings of immense disappointment and inadequacy subsided, I began to ponder what went wrong. I was naïve to think that my ten years of healthcare experience and average grades would be enough to get into a physician assistant program. I failed to take into account that the age of my coursework would hinder my quest. At the time of my application, the last course I took was approximately seven years prior. And although I was registered for additional courses in biology and chemistry in the fall 2011 semester, I understand the admission committees’ decisions to not offer me a seat in the next class. My theory was corroborated when I met with an admissions director to discuss my application. Since the time of my last application, I have continued to work full time in the operating room while taking additional courses in biology, chemistry and anatomy and physiology. Thus far, I have amassed sixteen science credits and anticipate earning twenty-two more by the end of the fall 2012 semester. Approximately half of the courses I am enrolled in are hybrid courses. Thus, the lecture component of the course is online (independent study) and the lab component is a typical classroom lab. I believe taking these additional courses, particularly the hybrids, while continuing to work full time is preparing me for the rigors of any physician assistant program as I am forced to manage my time effectively and become a more disciplined student. If given the opportunity, I plan to use my PA training to continue work in the operating room. To me, furthering my education in physician assistant studies will enable me to combine my passion for surgery with my desire for meaningful relationships with my patients. I eagerly look forward to what I am sure will be a most fulfilling career. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdamico1985 Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Hi Ginya - I am a reapplicant this cycle as well so I'm right there with you :) I am struggling to put a rewrite together so I admire how well written I think this one is. I like that you touched on the feeling of rejection (shows emotion) but that you showed how proactive you were to find out what you needed to improve and then followed with how you rectified this. I would take out in the last sentence "to what I am sure will be..." It almost sounds like you are questioning if this will be the case. Maybe say "I eagerly look forward to the most fulfilling career as a physician assistant." ? Just my two cents - Good luck this round! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdamico1985 Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Hi Ginya - I am a reapplicant this cycle as well so I'm right there with you :) I am struggling to put a rewrite together so I admire how well written I think this one is. I like that you touched on the feeling of rejection (shows emotion) but that you showed how proactive you were to find out what you needed to improve and then followed with how you rectified this. I would take out in the last sentence "to what I am sure will be..." It almost sounds like you are questioning if this will be the case. Maybe say "I eagerly look forward to the most fulfilling career as a physician assistant." ? Just my two cents - Good luck this round! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdamico1985 Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Hi Ginya - I am a reapplicant this cycle as well so I'm right there with you :) I am struggling to put a rewrite together so I admire how well written I think this one is. I like that you touched on the feeling of rejection (shows emotion) but that you showed how proactive you were to find out what you needed to improve and then followed with how you rectified this. I would take out in the last sentence "to what I am sure will be..." It almost sounds like you are questioning if this will be the case. Maybe say "I eagerly look forward to the most fulfilling career as a physician assistant." ? Just my two cents - Good luck this round! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lina105 Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Hello! I interview pre PA students at my old PA program. I constantly read personal essays, it's always my favorite thing because it gives me good insight into the applicant - more so than a transcript list or lists of HCE. I like your essay because it shows why you want to become a PA, and what you have done to improve on yourself since prior applications. Very nice, good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lina105 Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Hello! I interview pre PA students at my old PA program. I constantly read personal essays, it's always my favorite thing because it gives me good insight into the applicant - more so than a transcript list or lists of HCE. I like your essay because it shows why you want to become a PA, and what you have done to improve on yourself since prior applications. Very nice, good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lina105 Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Hello! I interview pre PA students at my old PA program. I constantly read personal essays, it's always my favorite thing because it gives me good insight into the applicant - more so than a transcript list or lists of HCE. I like your essay because it shows why you want to become a PA, and what you have done to improve on yourself since prior applications. Very nice, good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mktalon Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 This is a pretty good essay but be careful about this line: "As a result, I decided to study surgical technology and market myself to orthopedic surgeons to offer services as a physician extender." PAs and NPs are often called "Physician Extenders" in certain areas. For readers who are aware of this, they can interpret your sentence to mean that you marketed yourself as a midlevel provider, which you are not. I know this isn't on purpose, but even so, it can be a big distraction to an adcom who is reading this and wondering why you marketed yourself that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mktalon Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 This is a pretty good essay but be careful about this line: "As a result, I decided to study surgical technology and market myself to orthopedic surgeons to offer services as a physician extender." PAs and NPs are often called "Physician Extenders" in certain areas. For readers who are aware of this, they can interpret your sentence to mean that you marketed yourself as a midlevel provider, which you are not. I know this isn't on purpose, but even so, it can be a big distraction to an adcom who is reading this and wondering why you marketed yourself that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mktalon Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 This is a pretty good essay but be careful about this line: "As a result, I decided to study surgical technology and market myself to orthopedic surgeons to offer services as a physician extender." PAs and NPs are often called "Physician Extenders" in certain areas. For readers who are aware of this, they can interpret your sentence to mean that you marketed yourself as a midlevel provider, which you are not. I know this isn't on purpose, but even so, it can be a big distraction to an adcom who is reading this and wondering why you marketed yourself that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cinntsp Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Ditch all the talk about not getting in the first time around and "I was naive to think...blah blah." Keep it positive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cinntsp Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Ditch all the talk about not getting in the first time around and "I was naive to think...blah blah." Keep it positive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cinntsp Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Ditch all the talk about not getting in the first time around and "I was naive to think...blah blah." Keep it positive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corpsman2PA Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 If given the opportunity, I plan to use my PA training to continue work in the operating room. . I hope you didn't apply to a program whose mission statement is primary care driven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corpsman2PA Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 If given the opportunity, I plan to use my PA training to continue work in the operating room. . I hope you didn't apply to a program whose mission statement is primary care driven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corpsman2PA Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 If given the opportunity, I plan to use my PA training to continue work in the operating room. . I hope you didn't apply to a program whose mission statement is primary care driven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginya1977 Posted June 9, 2012 Author Share Posted June 9, 2012 Thank you all for your feedback, I really appreciate it! I've submitted my CASPA app and I am working on the supplemental apps now. Best of luck to my fellow applicants this cycle! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginya1977 Posted June 9, 2012 Author Share Posted June 9, 2012 Thank you all for your feedback, I really appreciate it! I've submitted my CASPA app and I am working on the supplemental apps now. Best of luck to my fellow applicants this cycle! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginya1977 Posted June 9, 2012 Author Share Posted June 9, 2012 Thank you all for your feedback, I really appreciate it! I've submitted my CASPA app and I am working on the supplemental apps now. Best of luck to my fellow applicants this cycle! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.