You read mine, I'll read yours!

[SurgPA30]

First draft. Thoughts? Suggestions? Much appreciated!

March 21, 2015 started off just like any other. 6am, my alarm goes off. I wake up my roommate, throw on some clothes and slump out of the Days Inn Hotel in Scottsdale, Arizona. We begin our half mile walk across the street to the Arizona Diamondbacks spring training complex, still barely able to open our eyes. As the sun rises over the mountains in the distance, silhouettes of fellow teammates and friends also pursuing their dream to play major league baseball, appear in the amber morning light. But something is not right. One of the silhouettes is walking towards us, back to the hotel, bag in hand. My heart begins to pound and I’m wide awake. We all knew what this meant. It was cut day.

Heading to the locker room, we can hear our teammates talking amongst one another as they change into their uniforms and get ready for the day, trying to keep the mood light. As I turn the corner, the room instantly fills with a deafening silence. There is no movement, no sound. Just me and 24 pairs of eyes fixed on the floor unable to look up. I approach my locker, already knowing my fate. It’s empty. I head to the coach’s office and knock on the door. I sign my release papers, am handed a large, black, plastic garbage bag containing all of my belongings along with a plane ticket to New Jersey. My dream of becoming a major league pitcher ended in an instant. This event, though earth shattering, allowed me to think about a future other than baseball for the very first time.

Being a high-level athlete, you have your fair share of bumps and bruises along the way and are exposed to all types of medical professionals. Physician, PA, NP, PT, athletic trainer, chiropractor, you name it, I saw it. When I truly reflected on my athletic career, I realized just how much time I had spent in the training room with athletic trainers and team physicians. Not always because I was hurt, but because I was there to learn and was fascinated by the human body. At the time, I had no idea that these interactions would lead me to pursue medicine and begin the journey to become a PA.

If I told you I was not hesitant about transitioning after baseball had ended, I would be lying. Did I really want to go back to school? Were the two years of prerequisites and thousands of dollars in order to apply with no guarantee of getting accepted worth it? These were just a few of the thousand questions I wrestled with. No matter how daunting the question, the answer was always “yes.” I knew it would be an uphill battle with fierce competition but that was an environment I excelled in. My undergraduate GPA at Wake Forest was not competitive with baseball always being the main priority while academics took a back seat. I also knew my grades there were not an accurate representation of my academic capabilities. I had matured significantly as a person since then so, I went back to school. Eager to start the path toward my new dream, I dove right in and enrolled full time completing all the major prerequisites in two semesters earning a GPA of 3.894. This is what I am capable of and how I know I am prepared for the rigors of a PA school curriculum.

While working closely with the PAs at Garden State Orthopedics, I quickly realized that the skill sets I had developed as an athlete were eerily similar to those of a PA. The preparation, attention to detail, team mentality and precise work with their hands were all too familiar qualities I developed from years as a starting pitcher. Observing various types of surgical procedures from colonoscopies to total hip replacements, I watched how physicians and PAs work as a collaborative unit, always on the same page and anticipating each other’s needs which was uniform with my relationship the catcher when I was pitching. Watching video, reading scouting reports and constructing a strategy for a game mirrors how a PA examines a patient, analyzes the information, comes up with a diagnosis and implements an effective treatment plan during office hours. Although the setting different, the long hours, late nights and early mornings PAs dedicate to perfecting their craft rivaled the work ethic and hunger to learn I had so frequently placed in athletics.

All of these experiences have led me to the realization that becoming a PA is my future. I may not have known I wanted to practice medicine my whole life or be the best candidate on paper, but everything I have endured in life, good and bad, large and small, has prepared me for this opportunity so let’s get started.

[ajames]

March 21, 2015 started off just like any other. 6am, my alarm goes off. I wake up my roommate, throw on some clothes and slump out of the Days Inn Hotel in Scottsdale, Arizona. We begin our half mile walk across the street to the Arizona Diamondbacks spring training complex, still barely able to open our eyes.--> "Early in the morning, I begin my long walk to the Arizona Diamondbacks spring training complex with my eyes barely able to stay open." (I condensed these two sentences to one and left out misc information such as your roommate (because its all about you) and the specific date or that you were staying in a hotel and how the place was half a mile but just across the street. You really want to be as concise as possible in order to save characters and discuss more of the reasons why you chose to be a PA). 

As the sun rises over the mountains in the distance, silhouettes of fellow teammates and friends also pursuing their dream to play major league baseball, appear in the amber morning light. But something is not right. One of the silhouettes is walking towards us, back to the hotel, bag in hand. My heart begins to pound and I’m wide awake. We all knew what this meant. It was cut day.---> "As the sun rises over the mountains, silhouettes of teammates appear in the amber morning light but something is not right. One of them walk toward me, bag in hand. My heart begins to pound and now I am wide awake. It's cut day." 

In the locker room,  amongst one another as they change into their uniforms and get ready for the day, trying to uplift the mood. As I enter the locker room, it instantly fills with a deafening silence. There is no movement, no sound. Just me and 24 pairs of eyes fixed on the floor unable to look up. I approach my locker, already knowing my fate. It’s empty. I head to the coach’s office and knock on the door. He hands me a large, black, plastic garbage bag containing all of my belongings and a plane ticket to New Jersey. My dream of becoming a major league pitcher shattered in an instant. For the very first time, though earth shattering, I began to think about a future outside of baseball. alowed me to think about a future other than baseball for the very first time.l

Being a high-level athlete, you have your fair share of bumps and bruises along the way and are exposed to all types of medical professionals. Physician, PA, NP, PT, athletic trainer, chiropractor, you name it, I saw it. When I truly reflected on my athletic career, I realized just how much time I had spent in the training room with athletic trainers and team physicians. Not always because I was hurt, but because I was there to learn and was fascinated by the human body. At the time, I had no idea that these interactions would lead me to pursue medicine and begin the journey to become a PA. ---> From my experience as a high-level athlete, I became familiar with different medical professionals due to the bumps and bruises along the way. (Enter here your interactions with PAs, how awesome they are, how youre really interested in the human body and its complexities, and how you are driven to pursue medicine, specifically becoming a PA due to x, y, reasons.) 

If I told you I was not hesitant about transitioning after baseball had ended, I would be lying. Did I really want to go back to school? Were the two years of prerequisites and thousands of dollars in order to apply with no guarantee of getting accepted worth it? These were just a few of the thousand questions I wrestled with. No matter how daunting the question, the answer was always “yes.” I knew it would be an uphill battle with fierce competition but that was an environment I excelled in. (Dont include this because you don't want to seem like you have doubts, even though many people do. Everyone faces these issues, theses questions, and making it seem like you don't want to because of these reasons makes it feel like you're not in it 100%).

 My undergraduate GPA at Wake Forest was not competitive with baseball always being the main priority while academics took a back seat. I also knew my grades there were not an accurate representation of my academic capabilities. I had matured significantly as a person since then so, I went back to school. Eager to start the path toward my new dream, I dove right in and enrolled full time completing all the major prerequisites in two semesters earning a GPA of 3.894. This is what I am capable of and how I know I am prepared for the rigors of a PA school curriculum.--> "My undergraduate GPA at Wake Forest was hindered because baseball was the center of my focus, but my grades are not an accurate representation of my academic capabilities. Since my lifestyle change, I have matured significantly as a person and have went back to school. Eager to start the path toward my new dream, I dove right in and completed all major prerequisites with an outstanding GPA of 3.89. I really am capable of academic achievements and know I will be prepared to take on the challenges of a PA school curriculum." (I would save this paragraph towards the end, like second to last paragraph cause your next paragraph should come first.)

While working closely with the PAs at Garden State Orthopedics (was this the athletic training place or a place you worked at and as what?), I quickly realized that the skill sets I had developed as an athlete were eerily similar to those of a PA. The preparation, attention to detail, team mentality and precise work with their hands were all too familiar qualities I developed from years as a starting pitcher. Observing various types of surgical procedures from colonoscopies to total hip replacements, I watched how physicians and PAs work as a collaborative unit, always on the same page and anticipating each other’s needs which was uniform with my relationship the catcher when I was pitching. Watching video, reading scouting reports and constructing a strategy for a game mirrors how a PA examines a patient, analyzes the information, comes up with a diagnosis and implements an effective treatment plan during office hours. Although the setting different, the long hours, late nights and early mornings PAs dedicate to perfecting their craft rivaled the work ethic and hunger to learn I had so frequently placed in athletics. --> "While working closely with PAs, I realized the skill sets I have developed as an athlete are similar to those of a PA. Their preparation for appointments, attention to detail, and team mentality overlapped with qualities I developed as a pitcher. Observing various types of surgical procedures from colonoscopies to total hip replacements, I watched how physicians and PAs work as a collaborative unit. In a team setting, I am always communicating with others and looking for ways to improve my techniques. In sport, the game is constantly changing with unexpected events occurring, and I developed adaptability. Medicine is unpredictable with new cases emerging constantly, and I am up for any challenge." (Here you can add other personality traits that would make you a good provider. I would tread lightly about making the connection of athlete to provider because they are really different. Yet there are qualities you have that may make you an awesome provider like patience, teamwork, facing challenges, defeat, and always looking to improve. I would definitely say this paragraph needs the most work which can only be done by you because its about you.)

All of these experiences have led me to the realization that becoming a PA is my future. I may not have known I wanted to practice medicine my whole life or be the best candidate on paper, but everything I have endured in life, good and bad, large and small, has prepared me for this opportunity so let’s get started.

Revision (After the changes I suggested above, your PS would read like this and allow for you to add more examples of your understanding of a PA, how it relates to you, and your motivations, volunteering experience or other relevant life experiences):

"Early in the morning, I begin my long walk to the Arizona Diamondbacks spring training complex with my eyes barely able to stay open. As the sun rises over the mountains, silhouettes of teammates appear in the amber morning light but something is not right. One of them walks toward me, bag in hand. My heart begins to pound and now I am wide awake. It's cut day. As I enter the locker room, it instantly fills with a deafening silence. There is no movement, no sound. Just me and 24 pairs of eyes fixed on the floor unable to look up. I approach my locker, already knowing my fate. It’s empty. I head to the coach’s office and knock on the door. He hands me a garbage bag containing my belongings and a plane ticket to New Jersey. My dream of becoming a major league pitcher shatters in an instant. For the very first time, I begin to think about a future outside of baseball.

From my experience as a high-level athlete, I became familiar with different medical professionals due to the bumps and bruises along the way. (Enter here your interactions with PAs, how awesome they are, how youre really interested in the human body and its complexities, and how you are driven to pursue medicine, specifically becoming a PA due to x, y, reasons.) 

"While working closely with PAs, I realized the skill sets I have developed as an athlete are similar to those of a PA. Their preparation for appointments, attention to detail, and team mentality overlapped with qualities I developed as a pitcher. Observing various types of surgical procedures from colonoscopies to total hip replacements, I watched how physicians and PAs work as a collaborative unit. In a team setting, I am always communicating with others and looking for ways to improve my techniques. In sport, the game is constantly changing with unexpected events occurring, and I developed adaptability. Medicine is unpredictable with new cases emerging constantly, and I am up for any challenge." (Here you can add other personality traits that would make you a good provider. I would tread lightly about making the connection of athlete to provider because they are really different. Yet there are qualities you have that may make you an awesome provider like patience, teamwork, facing challenges, defeat, and always looking to improve. I would definitely say this paragraph needs the most work which can only be done by you because its about you.)

My undergraduate GPA at Wake Forest was hindered because baseball was the center of my focus, but my grades are not an accurate representation of my academic capabilities. Since my lifestyle change, I have matured significantly as a person and have went back to school. Eager to start the path toward my new dream, I dove right in and completed all major prerequisites with an outstanding GPA of 3.89. I really am capable of academic achievements and know I will be prepared to take on the challenges of a PA school curriculum.

All of these experiences have led me to the realization that becoming a PA is my future. I may not have known I wanted to practice medicine my whole life or be the best candidate on paper, but everything I have endured in life, good and bad, large and small, has prepared me for this opportunity,"\

Please don't let my edits/suggestions discourage you, but find learning from them and make some changes. You are a really unique applicant with an interesting background that committees will want to know about when they come across but you gotta find a way to really dig deep and show you understand what a PA is, why its for you, and your interest in medicine/human anatomy, etc. I really hope you found this helpful.

 

[ajames]

Lastly, please make sure you talk about your experience with patients if you have any because you want to show that you know what you're getting into and that you love it