Example Successful personal narrative

[rev ronin]

The following is, verbatim, my CASPA narrative. For some of you who have no idea where to start, this served me well: I interviewed at 5 of 5 schools to which I applied, with some reasonably mediocre stats (3.4 cum, great GRE, 2000 EMT HCE hours):

 

My life has followed a winding path of systems studies and helping others that has brought me to medicine as a second career.

 

In 1989, I left college for a marriage which failed in 1990. Financially and emotionally devastated, I eked out a B.S. through night classes and a non-traditional program, while finding newfound commitment to my Christian faith. That recommitment led to graduate religious education and volunteer church leadership.

 

Since 1997 I have worked as an information security specialist in the crucible of Intel's demanding culture, learning to apply myself, take risks, and set and achieve aggressive goals. As I adapted epidemiology modeling software to predict computer virus outbreaks, I compared my profession to medicine for the first time. Only later did I realize how well my background had prepared me for a career in medicine: for years, I had diagnosed problems, allocated scarce resources, triaged large-scale outages, and made decisions with limited information. In short, I was a public health manager for silicon patients, successfully ensuring the well-being of computers with neither feelings nor families.

 

Seeking to help real people, I became an EMT in 2006 and soon realized my limited effect on outcomes. In the first few months of 2007, my crew saved the life of a young drug addict and arrived first to an overnight infant death, which showed I could be both compassionate and emotionally resilient in the face of tragedy. My desire to help beyond emergency intervention led me back to college, where biological sciences fascinated me with greater intricacies than those of more familiar technological systems.

 

On two medical mission trips to Guatemala, I helped provide both primary and surgical care to the poor. I had previously traveled internationally for business, but Guatemala was my first opportunity to serve people who lacked access to modern healthcare. Two inguinal hernia surgeries stand out in my mind: one on a teen girl, and another on an older man. Bringing him relief was a more involved surgery and looked more dramatic, but the girl's minor repair will improve her life for decades.

 

My analytical, incident response, and risk analysis skills have already translated well into emergency medicine. Since I have been successful as an educator, supervisor, crisis manager, diagnostician, counselor, and technician, I know I can perform these roles in medicine. I would rather be a trusted assistant than head my own clinic, rather have a flexible scope of practice than a single specialty, and am unafraid of demonstrating my worth by competence rather than credential. After completing PA school, I expect to become a self-supporting medical missionary, splitting my time between working stateside to support my family and overseas as part of a medical team serving the destitute, because I have found nothing else that uses my experiences and aptitudes in a way so aligned with my faith.

[Iain1028]

Nice syntax there Rev!!

 

Advanced syntax and a logical progression (flow) of ideas is something I rarely see from many pre-PA essays!!

 

Some on here are at a 6th grade level, no kidding. Remember, this is graduate school in most cases. Great job Rev!!

[rev ronin]

What was I trying to accomplish included four main points:

 

1) Explain my mediocre undergraduate GPA, with a couple of C's and I/F's between 1990-92.

2) Describe why I've decided to leave one perfectly fine and lucrative career for another.

3) Emphasize the strengths I already have that I expect to translate well

4) Explain why I chose PA instead of medical school.

 

That is A LOT of ground to cover in the allotted characters. If you're in your 20's, it may be less of a challenge, but I have a ton of good stories (two decades' worth) that I simply was not able to include because they would require too much involved explanation. Be absolutely vicious in your own editing--If it's not working, amputate that part of the essay, or tear up the virtual paper and start again.

 

Never pass up an opportunity to show off your vocabulary! "Eked out" is both short and shows off. Crucible, triage, resilient... all great words. None too pretentious, but not too pedestrian, either.

[p911sc]

Nice work. I liked this part

 

I would rather be a trusted assistant than head my own clinic, rather have a flexible scope of practice than a single specialty, and am unafraid of demonstrating my worth by competence rather than credential.

[spellkevin]

rev ronin, that was so well written! When I start applying for caspa and writing my personal essay, I'll be sure to look back on this thread. Your medical mission trips to guatemala interests me greatly! I was the one who posted up an earlier thread regarding medical mission trips and you replied, as to many, if not all, other threads. I also applaud your devotion to your church. I, too, am a man of faith and work with my church youth. But enough of admiring your feats, before I turn into some groupie fan.

 

If you're in your 20's, it may be less of a challenge,

How is that so? If you're younger, I would think it's less life experience. My peers at school within the same field of science, who are around my age (20), hardly know what they want to do for the rest of their life. Considering that, how can they justify that a profession in medicine is truly it for them? I have my reasons but it just makes me curious how 20's would be more sure of their plan in life compared to 30's.

[rev ronin]

Sorry if the context wasn't clear--in your 20's, you only have a finite number of life experiences to sort through to select the vignettes that go into your personal statement. As you age, you've got more experiences that you have to filter through and from which select the best examples.

 

Thanks for the compliments. What's ironic about my aptitude as an editor is that English was the only subject I've ever gotten C's in in both high school and college. In all seriousness, business communications have honed my skill far more than the hodgepodge of literature studies and other not-actual-writing that got lumped into my "English" academic coursework.

[darrylius]

wow, if only I could write this well and smoothly! A+

[IdahoPA]

Thanks for sharing. In some past posts you've come off as a bit harsh, but this shows a different side of you. I appreciate that you managed to convey your vast history and experiences so concisely and clearly, while using a style that both showed intelligence and was easy to read.

 

Good luck in your endeavors!! I hope you excel in PA school and find the balance you seek.

[pajourney]

Good essay!