Personal statement please feel free to comment

[Nilusha hirani]

Piku was born when I was preparing for med school in India,He use to live with his mother and father and two siblings(Thts what I figured).Our backyard was full of jasmine,bougenvilia and crusanthymum plants.I could listen the cuckoo of a koyal every morning.This family was of a very common bird in India,a house sparrow.Me and my sister were obgyn when piku came out of a cracked egg.With tiniest limbs and completely dependent on his mother,it was the most beautiful feeling to take him in my hands.Only after few weeks,when flight muscles,haven't yet developed,piku tried to fly and hurt himself.I use to console him and treat him with the homemade remedies.

 

As I was preparing for my med school,the zeal to fly,the zeal to succeed,the zeal to change the world,like piku was there in my eyes.Slowly,time passed,it seemed like it was crawling,I couldn't wait to here,after three rigorous years of preparation and intensive coaching,that I was accepted in medical school.When I got the news Iwas jumping with joy.It seemed I also developed wings an was flying with my little friend.

Only after few weeks of me getting into medical school,I came to know something which had shaken my foundation.It was extremely hard breaking to know that my parents were having problems in their marriage,they were at the verge of separating,suddenly the perfect image of life shattered.Even though my siblings could accept the fact in more mature way,for me it was like a sudden blow on my head.A trait of looking for perfectionism,in everything,being a Virgo,began to haunt me,of which I was proud of before.

 

While I was experiencing bitter taste of life,real flavor of medicine was yet to be tasted.I remember it was my first day of clinical rotation,and it was in intensive care unit,for Patients who were struggling last moments of their life.As soon as I started the day,we were instructed to perform CPR.That was first time I was doing to save a life.Until lunch time We did five CPRs,but unfortunately we could not save anybody.That means in no time I witnessed five deaths.My supervisor gave me responsibility to inform families of two patients about the demise.I was stunned.How was I going to do?First of all it was difficult to digest that I have witnessed five deaths in few hours,and now "how in any world could I inform them?"That was my reaction.My heart raced as I took each step towards the corridor.It felt my mouth was sealed,When I looked in their eyes,there was hope.I could never forget.But I had to.With keeping mumb,my body numb,tears rolled from my eyes.They got it.I could see there world broken.I could not take it and ran into my room and sobbed.

 

As days passed,more and more cases I saw of deaths,demises,deceased.In someway or other it decreased my grievance for life.It gave me a new direction.During the whole year of my clinical internship,I learned to give people hope and strength,even when you have your own shortcomings.The more I gave a person suffering strength,I added a brick to my foundation again.And in a year of time I could stand again on pillars built on compassion,dedication,patience and perseverance.

 

After graduating from medical school,I worked as a duty medical officer,in a well known medical centre in India.During which Happen to work general ward,admitting and following up with patients,taking case histories and prescribing drugs.A duty medical officer is someone who works under a supervising physician,reports to him if any complexities,otherwise can make diagnosis and plan a treatment.Working under a physician,gave me support as well as strength.I really enjoyed the mutual trust between me and my physician.His trust and appreciation,as well as patients satisfaction of our work,gave me confidence.

 

With boosting confidence,I came to United States,but in no time was wiggling about my career.when I was waggling around through all possibilities of working with patients,PA profession was introduced to me by my brother in law.To get more knowledge,I shadowed a PA,Mr.jonathan Newman.He was easy going and made me comfortable from beginning.He made an effort to introduce me to staff and to every patient he saw.He was also director for the clinic,he was working in.Staff members looked upto him for both clinical and administrative stuff.I saw him dealing with each patient carefully.Sometimes he compared the elderly patient to his father and other times he shared his recent marriage with them.All in all he made the environment endearing for anyone associated with his clinic.He really inspired me not only to be a PA,but also to be compassionate towards fellow worker.To get more experience in hospital setting,I have applied to volunteer in emergency department at newyork presbytarian/queens hospital,from September onwards.Im hoping to get insight into Health care system along with some experience.

 

I aim to be like my little friend piku,whose aim was only to fly,no matter whether it rains or storms or if he gets hurt.

[Guy]

I would encourage you to meet with someone in person to read over your essay to help you with your grammar. Your narrative essay appears to be one of inspiration but unfortunately the language barrier is too distracting to the reader. I think several good revisions and some serious editing could polish this paper up into a powerful personal statement. Best of luck to you! 

[Nilusha hirani]

Thank you.

Appreciate it.

I'm going to edit and proofread it by someone professional.