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Moments when you need a poker face


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Pt: My naturopathic doctor diagnosed me with lyme disease. He said I've had it for 29 years!

Preceptor: 29 years? How did he test for that?

Pt: He looked and tested my muscles.

Preceptor (blinks a few times): Did he draw any blood?

Pt: No

Preceptor: Interesting technique.

Pt: I'm spending a fortune on the treatment now.

Preceptor: Herbal medication?

Pt: Yes

Preceptor: (blinks some more)

 

Here I am smiling and stifling my laughter the whole time while finishing up the pt chart. Glad pt was facing her back toward me. 

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pt : I want an mri today because I haven't slept in 4 years

me: do you have a regular dr?

pt: yes, but he won't order it for me so I came to the ER...

me: you realize the emergency room is for emergencies, right? that's why it's not called the convenience dept...

(pt sent back to pcp. no saturday night stat mri for bs ....)

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(not actually on a student rotation, this happened within my first year of practice)

 

Me: Have you been sexually active with a new partner within the last year?

Patient: I haven't had sex in decades, ever since my wife died.

Me (looking at EMR): It says here you picked up 10 Viagra late last year.

Patient (looking embarrassed): That was for me.

Me: (blinks)

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(not actually on a student rotation, this happened within my first year of practice)

 

Me: Have you been sexually active with a new partner within the last year?

Patient: I haven't had sex in decades, ever since my wife died.

Me (looking at EMR): It says here you picked up 10 Viagra late last year.

Patient (looking embarrassed): That was for me.

Me: (blinks)

I have actually seen this more than once. gentlemen who want them so they can help themselves as it were...

also have seen women ask for them for themselves because they think it makes their experience better (as in they-the women- take them).

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  • 11 months later...

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