Job offer vs Significant other

[skyfall]

I have been offered a position at a hospital in a rural East Coast town where I'm doing my rotation. Competitive pay, benefits, school loan pay back. Doctors at this site are amazing teachers here and happy to train new PAs. The hospital staff are nice and happy- wtf awesome! People work as a team. I'm loving this rotation, the people, and the quiet rural setting.

 

I'm from a big city in the West Coast and worked several years in the health field where I saw bitter nurses and doctors who were overworked and jaded. Workplace was competitive and people played favoritism. Not uncommon that the female staff gossiped, complained and argued like high schoolers. From work experience and knowing friends in medicine, I'm aware that PA's in this city have a big turnover rate because there are so many NPs/PAs there.  

 

SO has a great job in the city. He isn't sure if he wants to eventually quit his job and move to rural area where his industry doesn't exist. Otherwise, we are doing great in a long distance relationship, Serious and have discussed marriage. Skyping everyday.  My family and close relatives lives there too. 

 

So my dilemma is, do I take this awesome job offer or do I move back home where family and bf are? 

[Nonlegit]

First, imagine some time settling into this new job. The gap between jobs will not nearly be as great as you make it out to be. Its disingenuous to convince yourself that all west coast jobs are malignant and the rural east coast is Mayberry in hospital form (I have worked both myself, not as a provider). It is very nice, however, that you have been offered what looks to be a good job. I understand the draw.

 

The rest appears to be personal advice you are seeking. I will not comment on that, other than to say this - you can't be long distance forever.

[rev ronin]

If you think your relationship will be, in the long run, more important to your BF than his career, you are statistically likely to be wrong.  While he may love you, the stress of being separated from what he loves to do may eventually wear him down.

 

An anecdote: While the married couples stayed together during PA school better than the unmarried couples in my class, there have been more divorces after PA school than I would have imagined.  In my graduating class of 40, 9 women and 8 men started married. 2 men got divorced during school, and at least three women have gotten divorced in the 2 years since graduation--possibly more than that, since I don't keep in active contact with everyone.  My personal theory on the latter statistic is that many men are not as emotionally ready to be co-breadwinners as they might have thought, and have a harder time treating their wives as economic equals.

 

Coming up on 20 years married, my wife is a much higher priority than my career.  I can always get another job.

[gbrothers98]

I have been offered a position at a hospital in a rural East Coast town where I'm doing my rotation. Competitive pay, benefits, school loan pay back. Doctors at this site are amazing teachers here and happy to train new PAs. The hospital staff are nice and happy- wtf awesome! People work as a team. I'm loving this rotation, the people, and the quiet rural setting.

 

I'm from a big city in the West Coast and worked several years in the health field where I saw bitter nurses and doctors who were overworked and jaded. Workplace was competitive and people played favoritism. Not uncommon that the female staff gossiped, complained and argued like high schoolers. From work experience and knowing friends in medicine, I'm aware that PA's in this city have a big turnover rate because there are so many NPs/PAs there.  

 

SO has a great job in the city. He isn't sure if he wants to eventually quit his job and move to rural area where his industry doesn't exist. Otherwise, we are doing great in a long distance relationship, Serious and have discussed marriage. Skyping everyday.  My family and close relatives lives there too. 

 

So my dilemma is, do I take this awesome job offer or do I move back home where family and bf are? 

I agree. You cant be long distance forever. Skype only gets you so far.

Here is your downside. This may be a great job and such but will it always be that way for you? 

Many circumstances change, great staff leave, a great place to work can erode due to unforeseen issues.

Alternatively, your prior experience is now old and likely specific. Other venues may be just as reasonable as you are encountering now.

Finally, boyfriends and girlfriends can come and go. But people you want to make a life with are few and far between. 

Then there is the art of compromise. Successful partnerships are rife with this on both parts. You and the boy need to spend some time together in person and realize the fork in the road you have come to. You both have to realize that going forward together involves each one of you not getting exactly what you want with the exception of the 2 of you in close proximity.

Last, never underestimate the desire for proximity to family. I live and work in the rural east coast. I work at the hospital of the small new england town I grew up in. I left at 17 and knew, just knew, I never would come back.....until I did. I have seen more PAs, NPs and docs leave to be closer to home and family within a year or 3 of being hired because, unless we hate our families, that is an instinctive pull on most of us. 

Good luck.

G Brothers PA-C

[MisterIndubitably]

 

Coming up on 20 years married, my wife is a much higher priority than my career. I can always get another job.

 

That is encouraging and very amazing rev!!

 

 

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