Early start to my personal statement, advice/comment please

[JonesSarahW]

Answering the question of what you want to be when you grow up can bring stress, anxiety, and a sense of panic. For me, it brought me excitement, and fueled my passion for learning. I remember talking about what a physician assistant is and the role they played in medicine in 2007 at the time the profession was poorly understood and not as respected as it should me. The importance of the profession became apparent to me when my sister was hit by a car on her bicycle. My sister had a serious head injury, and memory/ brain damage was unknown. I was meet in the ED by a physician assistant that assured me that my sister was getting the best treatment available, and that time would be the only thing to determine her outcome. The reassurance, and ability to tell me as a matter of factly what my sister was facing and what was being done continued to repeat in my mind as the summer months continued and my sister started to heal. 

 

When I returned to college that following semester I was bound and determined to find out more about what a physician assist is and what their role is in the medical community. As research expanded I knew that I had found out “what I wanted to be when I grew up.” I soon recognized a problem, I had poor grades and had little to no medical experience. I became more determined to work harder, and shadow every doctor and physician assistance I could get a hold of. 

 

When I was not accepted to any physician assistant program directly out of college, partially because of my grades and partially because I had no hands on experience, I took my EMT class. I had found a passion that I did not know existed in emergency medicine. I enjoyed the adrenaline rush, and being allowed into a strangers home with the thought that I was there to help them in their worst moments. I continued on in school to become a paramedic, wanting and desiring additional knowledge, unable to cure a need to know everything. I grew to love my job even more. I enjoyed understanding and performing complicated tasks and working with the fire department and other medical professionals on scene and in the hospital to ensure the patient’s best outcome. I am now faced with a similar issue, I am ready for more knowledge, and more abilities in the medical world. I have found that I have a strong desire for knowledge, a profound ability to thing critically and calmly in a emergent setting, a unquenchable fascination with medicine, and the need to improve the lives of others in a tangible manner. 

 

I would rather be a trusted assistant than head my own clinic, rather have a flexible scope of practice than a single specialty, and am unafraid of demonstrating my worth by competence rather than credential. I enjoy working with others in the emergency field to ensure that from the moment I walk into a patient’s house to the moment we get them to the hospital and into the hands of the doctor that they have the best care possible. I have found what I want to do in life, and will continue to work hard to make sure that I obtain it. I want to be a physician assistant. 

 

 

 

[G. Davenport]

First, before you get slammed by 100 people, re-evaluate the first sentence (first part) of your last paragraph!!!!!

 

G

 

 

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[patachok]

I am not sure where to start...well, first of all, a lot of typos, read it over with a fresh mind to get rid of those. Second of all, i support the above comment 100%. What is that nonsense about an assistant? You want to be assistant, go work as a CNA! First time you mention Physician Assistant - capitalize, than put PA in parenthesis, and use PA for the rest of your essay. You might want to start with the story about your sister, and tell us how you first got introduced to the field. Give it some color, engage the readers intetest, nobody says your story has to be 100% true, if you know what i am saying.

Get rid of general nonsense which is boring.

Lastly, going back to your last paragraph...who says doctors are not competent but rather make it because of credentials? Looks like you do! Get rid, sounds really bad, shows you in a bad light. Your essay should be positive, not a bag of dirt thrown onto other professions. Plus, you say sick patient goes straigh to the hands of an MD...where is logic, I see none!

My advice, rewrite, then again, and again.

Then we will see.

Good luck

[nandosport]

I'm no licensed professional, but I am going to echo @patachok. At my local university, the people who choose applicants for interviews and who perform the interviews range in careers from NP/PA to MD/DO. You don't want to insult them.

 

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[Zen11222]

I agree that you should 100% start with the story. In fact, you can start your essay as if you were just telling a story. That's what I did. And try to elicit as much emotion as possible. Add words to your essay like "compassion", "passion", and even "love". You want your interviewer to remember you and you want to have words that will cause them to ask you questions about it. And I agree that you should not talk down other healthcare professions. I said something in my interview about, from a patient's perspective, physicians seem rushed. But my experiene with PAs have been more personable. One of my interviewers harped on the physician comment and completely ignored the PA comment. Of course, I stuck up for my idea. But you want to be careful if you are not there to defend yourself, as in the case of your essay.

 

Make your essay personal, emotional, passionate and relentless.

[DiggySRNA]

I agree with the above statements. I am not a physician assistant (yet) and I take offense when individuals say we are "assistants". 

Your essay needs a lot more spice. Talk about your sister's experience in the beginning paragraph and lead it into your EMT experience (what were the amazing things you did as an EMT). Also, group your college experience, post grad studies, and your thirst for knowledge together. Leave a good taste in your reader's mouth (don't bad mouth the other professions. Such professions could be on the interviewing panel.

 

Here's another tip.

1. Expand on your experiences.

• what do you mean by "I had found a passion that I did not know existed in emergency medicine"
  •  What exists in EM that you think is so great?
  • What I realized is that some physicians, not all, desire to own their own clinics. And some PA's not all, desire to own their own clinic.

 

Rid of the generalizations and paint a colorful picture with your essay. 

 

HAPPY WRITING :D