jkdballet Posted June 24, 2013 Share Posted June 24, 2013 It wasn’t until the last couple of years that I decided I wanted to be a physician assistant. I grew up dreaming of becoming a professional ballet dancer. This dream started out as a hobby at the age of five; like most little girls, I was put in dance for coordination and focus. By age fourteen, this hobby had turned into a passion resulting in leaving home to study at a prestigious ballet conservatory thousands of miles away from home sophomore through senior years of high school. After high school, I danced professionally before attending college. To this day I still dance part time with local ballet companies as a guest artist. Some people may ask how ballet has any relation to the medical field or specifically any qualifications to becoming a PA. I believe that my upbringing in the ballet world has developed just as many, if not more, desirable qualities towards as career as a PA as my background as a dietitian has. First, I am dedicated to learning. As a ballet dancer, you never perfect your craft. You are always striving to learn more and be better than you were the day before. This is a quality that I have translated into my work as a dietitian and hope to apply to my career as a PA. With dedication to learning comes the ability to accept corrections and constructive criticism. I feel that this quality enhances my ability to grow in knowledge and skill and learn from those above me. This is essential to the classroom, clinical, and supervising physician and PA role, as we are to learn from each of our professors, clinical sites, and supervising physicians. With regards to learning, I am also a fast learner. Whether it is choreography for a ballet that I have to perform in a week or medicine that I will have to learn in a very short time to become a PA, I have the ability to absorb knowledge and skills in a short amount of time and translate them into my work. A very important quality in the medical field that I possess from the ballet world is that I know how to be a team player. The “corps de ballet” has to learn how to dance together, as one, harmoniously. They provide each other with helpful feedback and advice and work together for a common goal, much like in the medical field. From my experience at my current job, to the stage, I have learned how to be an integral part of a team. Time management is another quality that translates into all areas of my life. At my ballet school, we had to manage a full academic load on top of dance classes 6+ hours a day, community service, and dorm duties. Currently, I am able to excel in a full time job as a dietitian, a few contract jobs, maintain good grades in schoolwork, and continue to dance. I know this skill will be essential when trying to manage the course load in PA school. Last, I am fully dedicated to anything I set my mind to. This quality has been developed over years as a ballet dancer, but has translated in to all other areas of my work and life. I have a strong desire to become a PA and expand my role in patient care. My scope of practice as a dietitian is quite limited. When I further pursued the various options of higher education and advancement in the medical field, the physician assistant path seemed to fit everything I desire as a practitioner. Shadowing various PA's solidified my desire to pursue PA school. I look forward to the opportunity to explore various fields of medicine as a PA student, spend more time with my patients and build relationships with them, and have the ability to devote time to my family once in practice, which is very important to me. I believe that my background, while quite varied and not traditional, has set me up with all of the desirable skills to be a great physician assistant. I am very dedicated, passionate, and driven in areas I decide to pursue. I have a knowledge base of the human body and medicine to build upon. I pursue opportunities whole-heartedly and devote 110% of myself to achieving the goals I set for myself. I do not think that I would have accomplished such a variety of achievements in my life if I did not have the dedication and discipline instilled in me as a young aspiring ballet dancer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcg2011 Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 The first sentence should be taken out. Your first sentence should be more interesting or leading into a story. Could you add a story in here? Maybe about why being a dietitian isn't enough for you. Also, I think some of the statements like "I am fully dedicated to anything I set my mind to" and "devoting myself 110%" are a bit cheesy and unnecessary. I do like the idea of paralleling your dedication to ballet to with your interest in becoming a PA. I think you should write more about you back ground as a dietitian though and your interest in health care. I hope this helps! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkdballet Posted June 25, 2013 Author Share Posted June 25, 2013 Thank you, those are great suggestions! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grecob49 Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I agree with mcg2011, the first sentence is unnecessary. You have a great skeleton to work with, but I feel like you are more listing your qualities than creating a cohesive narrative (first...lastly). I feel like I don't really get much of your personality showing through, more of a matter-of-fact type essay. Go more into depth about what made you decide to become a dietician, and how you discovered the PA profession. Did you have an encounter with one that was meaningful, or were you just searching for a more fulfilling career in healthcare? You also need to work on your transitions, as they are sometimes awkward and your paragraphs feel broken up. I love that you used your experience as a ballet dancer to parallel the two professions, but I don't feel the love you have for ballet. Maybe write about a particular experience in the beginning to hook the readers in. I think your nontraditional background will stand out against other applicants, but make sure you don't lose the reader in the first paragraph! Like I said, you have a great skeleton to work with, but put more YOU into it!! Good luck!! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkdballet Posted June 26, 2013 Author Share Posted June 26, 2013 Thanks, I felt like something was missing and needed to expand on my health care experience. It's so hard to fit in all I want to say with the character constraints! Your suggestions are very helpful :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkdballet Posted June 26, 2013 Author Share Posted June 26, 2013 How does this edit look (I need to cut about 150 characters) ? The slight butterflies in my stomach, the hush of the crowd, and the rush of cool air as the curtain opens… a chill goes down my spine, there are thousands of eyes looking at me: I have never felt so alive as when I am on stage, dancing, expressing myself through movement. Agnes de Mille once said “to dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful. This is power, it is glory on earth and it is yours for the taking.” I grew up dreaming of becoming a professional ballet dancer. My dream started out as a hobby at the age of five; like most little girls, I was put in dance for coordination and focus. By age fourteen, this hobby had turned into a passion. I left home thousands of miles away to study at a prestigious ballet conservatory for high school. After high school, I danced with various ballet companies and to this day I still fulfill my dream by performing with local ballet companies as a guest artist. Some people may ask how ballet has any relation to the medical field or, specifically, qualifications to becoming a physician assistant. I believe that my upbringing in the ballet world has developed just as many desirable qualities towards a career as a PA as my experience as a dietitian. I have a dedication to learning that was instilled in me as a small child in pink tights and tutus. As a ballet dancer, you never perfect your craft. You are always striving to learn more and be better than you were the day before. This is a quality that I have translated into my work as a dietitian and look forward to applying to my career as a PA. With dedication to learning comes the ability to accept corrections and constructive criticism. I feel that this quality opens me to learn from those above me. I also have the capacity to absorb knowledge and skills in a short amount of time and translate them into my work, whether it be choreography for a ballet that I have to perform in a week, or medicine that I will have to learn in a very short time to become a PA. Time management is another essential skill that translates into all areas of my life. At my ballet boarding school, we had to manage a full academic load on top of dance classes 6+ hours a day, community service, and dorm duties. Currently, I am able to excel in a full time job and a few contract jobs as a dietitian, maintain good grades in schoolwork, and continue to dance professionally. I know this skill will be essential when trying to manage the course load in PA school. One of my favorite parts of being a dietitian is working as a team with other healthcare professionals. I believe my ability to work well as a team was developed in my ballet training. The “corps de ballet” has to learn how to dance together, as one, harmoniously. They provide each other with helpful feedback and advice and work together for a common goal, much like in the medical field. These traits have given me the skill set to achieve a strong background in healthcare. While I enjoy my work as a dietitian, the scope of practice is quite limited. I desire to be able to provide something “larger, more beautiful, more powerful” to my patients than I can provide as a dietitian. I have a strong desire to become a PA and expand my role in patient care. This desire was placed in me as I was speaking with some PA students who were going through their clinical rotations. They discussed their adrenaline filled day in the ER and all I could think of was the adrenaline rush of being on stage. When I further pursued the options of higher education and advancement in the medical field, I desired something to mimic that rush and passion that I have for ballet. The physician assistant path seemed to fit everything I desire as a practitioner. Shadowing various PAs solidified my desire to pursue this profession. I look forward to the opportunity to explore various fields of medicine as a PA student, spend more time with my patients and build stronger relationships with them, and have the ability to devote time to my family, once in practice, which is very important to me. I believe that my background, while quite varied and not traditional, has set me up with all of the desirable skills to be a great physician assistant. I am very dedicated, passionate, and driven in areas I decide to pursue. I do not think that I would have accomplished such a variety of achievements in my life if I did not have the dedication and discipline instilled in me as a young aspiring ballet dancer. Martha Graham sums up my views on both ballet and medicine: “I believe that we learn by practice. Whether it means to learn to dance by practicing dancing or to learn to live by practicing living, the principles are the same. In each, it is the performance of a dedicated precise set of acts, physical or intellectual, from which comes shape of achievement, a sense of one's being, a satisfaction of spirit. One becomes, in some area, an athlete of God. Practice means to perform, over and over again in the face of all obstacles, some act of vision, of faith, of desire. Practice is a means of inviting the perfection desired.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grecob49 Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 MUCH better! You put much more of YOU into it this time, and explained in better depth why you have chosen the PA as a career choice. I LOVE the opening. I danced and performed up until college, and I can relate to that amazing feeling you get being in front of that many people. I like how you used a quote to sum everything up at the end, but if you can try to get a shorter quote, or just shorten this one up (you could paraphrase it), it would work much better. I feel like it's a bit long, and those characters could be used for more of your own words, rather than so many of someone else's. I would suggest no more than a line of characters make up your quote, otherwise it's a little too long. Otherwise, great work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkdballet Posted June 26, 2013 Author Share Posted June 26, 2013 Thanks again for your help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TarheelGirlx3 Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 "I desire to be able to provide something “larger, more beautiful, more powerful” to my patients than I can provide as a dietitian." I really like that quote right there! :) I agree, it is MUCH better now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkdballet Posted June 27, 2013 Author Share Posted June 27, 2013 Thanks Tarheel :) I have made a few adjustments to get in character limits, but it's getting close! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkdballet Posted June 30, 2013 Author Share Posted June 30, 2013 The slight butterflies in my stomach, the hush of the crowd, and the rush of cool air as the curtain opens... a chill goes down my spine, there are thousands of eyes looking at me: I have never felt so alive as when I am on stage, dancing, expressing myself through movement. Agnes de Mille once said "to dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful. This is power, it is glory on earth and it is yours for the taking." I was a five-year-old little girl when I first discovered my purpose in life was to be a ballet dancer. I was put into classes to learn coordination and focus, and soon had a profound realization that would lead me to discover what my contribution to the world would be. This realization took me thousands of miles away to study at a prestigious ballet conservatory for high school. After high school, I danced with various ballet companies, and currently perform with local ballet companies as a guest artist. The ballet world allows me to express my talents and knowledge of the body through art. With a dedication to learning that was instilled in me as a small child in pink tights and tutus, I studied to be a dietitian. Ballet dancers never perfect their craft, always striving to learn more and be better than they were the day before. As a dietician with this mentality, the next step on my quest to become better at my craft is to become a PA. A career as a PA will allow me to apply my talents and knowledge through science in a way where I can further help other people, the next step on my journey to contribute to the world. Ballet has taught me various skills that are required to excel in PA school. It taught me to be dedicated to my craft, accept corrections and constructive criticism, learn from the experts, and learn quickly. It also taught me to manage time effectively – managing a full academic load, community service, dorm duties, and 6+ hours a day of ballet while in boarding school growing up. College brought full time academics, 20 hours a week in my dietetic internship, a part time job, and dancing 20 hours a week. I continue to develop this skill today where I hold a full time job as a dietitian, as well as various contract jobs; I am enrolled in prerequisites and a graduate level sports nutrition program where I maintain good grades, and I continue to dance professionally. One of my favorite parts of being a dietitian is working as a team with other health care professionals. My ability to work well as a team developed in my ballet training. The "corps de ballet" has to learn how to dance together, as one, harmoniously. Dancers provide each other with helpful feedback and advice and work together for a common goal, much like staff in the medical field. These skills enable me to excel in healthcare. While I enjoy my work as a dietitian, the scope of practice is quite limited. I desire to be able to provide something "larger, more beautiful, more powerful" to my patients than I can provide as a dietitian. I have a strong desire to become a PA and expand my role in patient care. This desire was placed in me as I spoke with some PA students who were going through their clinical rotations. They discussed their adrenaline filled day in the ER and all I could think of was the adrenaline rush of being on stage. When I further pursued the options of higher education and advancement in the medical field, I desired something to mimic the rush and passion that I have for ballet. The physician assistant path seemed to fit everything I desire as a practitioner. Shadowing PAs in various fields solidified my desire to pursue this profession I look forward to the opportunity to explore various fields of medicine as a PA student, spend more time building relationships with my patients, and move into a career that will allow me the flexibility to spend time with my family, once in practice, which is very important to me. I believe that my background, while quite varied, has provided me with all of the necessary skills to be a great physician assistant. I am dedicated, passionate, and driven, and would not have accomplished such a variety of achievements in my life if I had not developed these skills as a young aspiring ballet dancer. Martha Graham effectively portrays my view on ballet and my future career as a PA: "I believe that we learn by practice... it is the performance of a dedicated precise set of acts, physical or intellectual, from which comes shape of achievement, a sense of one's being, a satisfaction of spirit." *** This is a new version. I think it's getting close to where I want it but any input on the updates is appreciated :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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