Need to get under the character limit...any suggestions?

[Recook]

I am a tad bit over the character limit for the narrative. Right now it is at 5082 so if anyone could give me a suggestion on what they think could be cut out or shortened, I would appreciate it! Thanks!

 

 

 

Watching someone take their last breath is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, especially since that someone was my dad. The hurt and pain I endured while watching my dad die a slow painful death pushed my limits all the way to the bitter end. It made me realize that I did not want anyone to feel the way he or I did that day. I knew wanted to heal people for the rest of my life.

 

Though I always knew I wanted to pursue a career in the healthcare field, little did I know I would be so intrigued and motivated to become a physician assistant later on down the road. My first encounter with a P.A. was at my doctor’s office. A lady walked in and sat down in a chair in front of me so that she was eye level with me and introduced herself as a PA. She took my history and asked me what was going on and how she could help. Not only did she seem very concerned for my health, she was concerned for me. She was very knowledgeable and helpful with explaining my diagnosis and treatment plan. My interactions with that woman lit a spark in the back of my mind.

 

Once I graduated college, I got a job offer to work in a basic and clinical research lab at the University of Texas Medical Branch as a research associate. Since then, I have been involved in two projects: characterizing the vestibular system of caspase-3 deficient mice as well as gentamicin ototoxicity in mice. I have also had the opportunity to be a co- author for a publication on case studies involving cochlear implants. These projects have helped me build upon my team work and communication skills tremendously. Team work, I know, is especially important in the PA profession. Being able to have many of the responsibilities of a physician while also having a personable relationship with the patient like nurses do is something that intrigued me about the profession. I feel that this is important because it relays a message of reassurance to patients.

 

I have always had a passion for learning and knowledge. Learning is one of my favorite hobbies. This is part of the reason I have always been drawn to the healthcare field. There is still so much to learn about human health and diseases. Knowing that there is still so much out there, motivates me every day to pursue my aspirations of becoming a PA.

 

Since the projects I was involved with took up much of my time, I did not start shadowing my supervisor, an otolaryngologist, until March of 2013. I have been taken aback by how many different diagnoses can be made in just one day of clinic, from allergies to myringotomies. While shadowing at her clinic, we see mostly adult patients. I have direct contact with patients by doing a general exam of their ears, nose, and throat. I also have had the opportunity to assist with an arch bar removal and have had experience with flexible laryngoscopy. I am also currently shadowing at a pediatric clinic where I have learned that not only do the patients need to be cared for, but also the parents. Parents naturally want the best care for their children. It’s difficult enough to make decisions about healthcare for yourself, but it’s even more difficult when the decisions needed to be made are for someone that is completely dependent on you. I feel that education is an important factor when it comes to healthcare. Educating the patients and their families can be a tremendous step in treating patients.

 

Though there are many career options in the healthcare field, I chose PA based on what fits my life the best. The broad range of specialties I can go into, length of schooling, being able to focus on a more personal level with patients, and most importantly, being able to do what I what want to do for the rest of my life, heal people. Based on this information, combined with my own extensive research of the profession and my hands-on experiences while shadowing in the clinic I have confirmed my decision of becoming a PA.

 

Nobody is perfect and I believe that everything happens for a reason. Something good can emerge from even the most devastating events. When Hurricane Ike hit the Gulf coast, my life took an unexpected turn and I found myself faced with some hard decisions. Due to the fact that I had just lost my home and all of its contents, I was forced to move to Louisiana to live with family for a month. During this time, the University I attended would not allow me to drop my classes or make up tests missed, which unfortunately impacted my grades. It was a very stressful time and given the circumstances, I feel that not only did I come out a stronger person, but that turn of events played an important role in strengthening my skills of working under stress. I feel that I can use that outcome to my advantage as a PA

 

As a PA, I hope to channel my passion for knowledge to patients by educating them on not only their condition, but more importantly preventative and primary care. I will also strive to utilize research as a means to spread hope and insight to the incurable, a way of developing new treatments, and to encourage and inform my patients.

[rev ronin]

You're going at it backwards. If you don't know that the important bits of your narrative are, the character limit doesn't matter.

 

For one concrete suggestion, you used "passion", which is probably the most hackneyed, overused, and pedestrian thing possible to say in a personal statement.

[mhotsinp]

Good personal statement, but here are my suggestions to try to cut it down a bit.

 

"A lady walked in and sat down in a chair in front of me so that she was eye level with me and introduced herself as a PA"

A lady walked in, sat down in front of me and introduced herself as a PA.

 

"Team work, I know, is especially important in the PA profession"- take this out. Those reading the statements know that team work is important and you know it by showing what you have done so no need to reiterate the idea.

 

Nobody is perfect and I believe that everything happens for a reason- I would also reword this or take it out. Seems unnecessary to me because you discuss how you overcame the events that happened to you.