draft #2, needs work, please comment!

[robertgarrigus1]

My decision to take an emergency medical technician (EMT) course has been one of the most rewarding and life altering decisions of my life. It gave me patient contact experience that I needed in order to confirm my belief that I am capable of pursuing a career in the medical field.

There are many notable characteristics of being an EMT, but my most favorite aspect of the profession is that no two emergency calls aboard an ambulance are the same. One call I may be performing chest compressions and providing artificial respirations to a cardiac arrest patient. Then the next call I may be giving oral glucose to a diabetic patient that is suffering from hypoglycemia and is nearing the point of becoming unresponsive. Having this diversity has shaped me into a well rounded and knowledgeable EMT. It has given me a calm demeanor to care for patients in stressful medical situations. In addition, being an EMT has sharpened my communication and assessment skills because it is also true that no two patients are alike.

 

One of my greatest moments of compassion for others was during an EMS call that involved a patient experiencing a motor vehicle accident. I was directed to hold the patient's cervical spine in place and keep him awake. The patient sat in the driver's seat semi-conscious with the dashboard on his chest and unaware of his situation. As I sat in the back seat of the vehicle, I communicated with the patient for 30 minutes keeping him conscious and giving him a sense of security. As the fire department extricated him out of the vehicle, I was the only other person in the vehicle with him, and I reassured him that he was in great hands. The patient wasn't just physically in my hands as the dashboard was being lifted off of him, but also in the emotionally supporting hands of the paramedic, fire department, and police. We worked as a team, clearly communicating and assisting one another in order to reach a common goal, to save this individual’s life by removing him safely and promptly from his wrecked vehicle.

 

The experiences I have encountered as an EMT have compelled me to pursue a career as a Physician Assistant. It is motivating to know that as a Physician Assistant you continuously work as team with Doctors, Nurses, and other Physician Assistants to provide a common goal, which is exceptional care to every patient. I had the opportunity to witness this teamwork during my observational hours of Physician Assistants at St. Mary’s Hospital Urgent Care. I have thoroughly observed the Physician Assistants collaborate with Doctors and Nurses. They discussed patient history, medications, patient assessments, and assisted each other when necessary. The Physician Assistants played a very pivotal role in the quality of healthcare offered at St. Mary’s Hospitals. They assessed and treated their own individual patients in a timely manner with exceptional professionalism. I was very influenced by the Physician Assistants at St. Mary’s Hospital and have been imprinted by their true admirable characteristics. Therefore, I will strive to my fullest to become an extraordinary Physician Assistant because one of the most gratifying expressions in life one can offer is a helping hand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks alot for reading and commenting!

[bahakutuk]

You said "decisions" twice in the first sentence, kind of annoying to see that.Maybe "Taking an emergency medical technician (EMT) course has been one of the most rewarding and life altering decisions of my life....There are many notable characteristics of being an EMT. My most favorite aspect of the profession is that no two emergency calls aboard an ambulance are the same....to a diabetic patient who is suffering...In addition, being an EMT has sharpened my communication and assessment skills (This part makes sense. However, next sentence can not be linked to this one logically. Just doesn`t make sense. Read it one more time. ) because it is also true that no two patients are alike. (Maybe you can say "because two patients are almost never alike". Omit " it is also true that " part)...One of my greatest moments of compassion for others was during an EMS call that involved a patient experiencing a motor vehicle accident (Way too wordy, simplify. (Example; I can never forget an EMS call. A (male) motorist was injured pretty severely in a traffic accident. I was directed to hold his cervical spine in place and keep him awake. The patient sat in the driver's seat semi-conscious with the dashboard on his chest and unaware of his situation. As I sat in the back seat of the vehicle, I communicated with the patient for 30 minutes keeping him conscious and giving him a sense of security. As the fire department extricated him out of the vehicle, I was the only other person in the vehicle with him. I reassured him that he was in great hands. He wasn't just physically in my hands as the dashboard was being lifted off of him, but also in the emotionally supporting hands of the paramedic, fire department, and police.(Very emotional, nice!) We worked as a team, clearly communicating and assisting one another in order to save this individual’s life by removing him safely and promptly from his wrecked vehicle.

work as "a" team with Doctors...common goal; exceptional care to every patient.....

 

 

My humble opinion. Overall, nicely written. Also, you might want to explain what you mean by team as a PA, what your role would be. How could you contribute to team as a PA? How are you different as a person ?

[robertgarrigus1]

Thanks I really appreciate your feedback, it was very helpful! it was nice of you to take the take and critique it!

[robertgarrigus1]

take the time *