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elainabee

Very rough draft of PS: Help!!

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Took a quick skim, it's frankly bland and won't separate you from other applicants; I don't get any indication of who you are as a person. Let me just dissect out this paragraph:

My current position working as an STNA has further fueled my desire to become a PA. (First off, write out an abbreviation before using it) Because the facility that I work at combines skilled nursing, rehabilitation, and long term care, there is always a variety of providers coming in to examine the residents. Frequently, a PA comes to see the residents. I have seen firsthand how a successful PA is able to fill these residents and their families with a sense of calm, despite the fact that they may only have weeks or even days to live (How has this anything to do with your desire to be a PA? You just used two sentences to tell me nothing about you). Being a long term care STNA has been a rewarding experience and instilled in me a passion for geriatrics that I hope to incorporate into my future as a PA (You haven't told me anything that leads to be believe it was rewarding, all you did was tell me how you saw PAs talk calmly to patients...HOW was it rewarding - HOW did it instill a passion for geriatrics).

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I agree with everyone the above person said ^ . Your essay needs to answer 1) why a pa and 2 why you want to be a pa. This essay doesn’t answer that.

 

how long is this by the way? Max is 5000 characters I would use every character you can use

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On 4/21/2019 at 11:07 AM, Patricia5827 said:

I agree with everyone the above person said ^ . Your essay needs to answer 1) why a pa and 2 why you want to be a pa. This essay doesn’t answer that.

 

how long is this by the way? Max is 5000 characters I would use every character you can use

It's only ~3000 characters right now; I'm working on increasing the length significantly. Thank you for the input!! 🙂

On 4/20/2019 at 7:41 PM, Aware said:

Took a quick skim, it's frankly bland and won't separate you from other applicants; I don't get any indication of who you are as a person. Let me just dissect out this paragraph:

My current position working as an STNA has further fueled my desire to become a PA. (First off, write out an abbreviation before using it) Because the facility that I work at combines skilled nursing, rehabilitation, and long term care, there is always a variety of providers coming in to examine the residents. Frequently, a PA comes to see the residents. I have seen firsthand how a successful PA is able to fill these residents and their families with a sense of calm, despite the fact that they may only have weeks or even days to live (How has this anything to do with your desire to be a PA? You just used two sentences to tell me nothing about you). Being a long term care STNA has been a rewarding experience and instilled in me a passion for geriatrics that I hope to incorporate into my future as a PA (You haven't told me anything that leads to be believe it was rewarding, all you did was tell me how you saw PAs talk calmly to patients...HOW was it rewarding - HOW did it instill a passion for geriatrics).

Thank you so much for taking the time to do that! Re-reading this rough draft already has me making a lot of changes. Definitely going to work on the hows/whys of this PS. Thank you! 

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