Reapplicant Personal Statement- Revised and updated from original- feedback please

[megruns519]

Hey everyone,

 

Last year I wrote my PS about my relationship with my passion for running and preparing me to be a physician assistant. I updated the experiences and added more insight to interactions with my HCE. Please let me know what you think or if I should scrap the idea and start over. It also is too long by about 300 characters.

 

Thank You!

 

Three years and over 3000 miles later I found myself toeing the start line of the Chicago Marathon. My heart racing, arms shivering, and my nerves building I used these brief moments before the starting gun sounded to reflect on the journey that had brought me to this point. Looking back, I never knew my running would have become such an important part of my life let alone how much it would teach me. Lacking a collegiate team to partake in during my spare time in college I began to run. It was just a few miles here or there at first, but running quickly escalated into a new challenge and amazing stress reliever. A friend suggested signing up for a race and in August 2009 I found myself running my first half-marathon. The excitement was immense on that morning as runners of all shapes and sizes emerged from the city streets to come together to explore Chicago. 13.1 miles later I crossed the finish line and never looked back.

The question soon became, “What is my next step? How do I get better?” There is always something new to achieve in running whether it’s tackling a new distance, beating a previous time, or even different terrain. I quickly realized the idea of the next step applies in all aspects of life including science and medicine. One is always learning about new technology and techniques in order to advance his or her scope of practice to achieve better patient care. However, in order to achieve these next steps, whether in athletics or academics, there are certain values that contribute to success. It is through running that I have gained two important skills that will make me a valuable member to a medical team as a physician assistant.

On an individual level, running teaches discipline and perseverance in light of obstacles that may pop up. These obstacles range from waking up at 5:30am on a Saturday morning to train, running through downpours, broken iPods, and digestion issues. In my undergraduate schooling, I used the exact same traits to guarantee success in completing my biology degree and will continue to use them to obtain my Master’s degree. Late nights of studying, long hours in lab classes, and copious note taking all contributed to the success that I have experienced so far. It is these same traits that will carry on and allow me to succeed on the graduate level and into my career. Also, as a physician assistant, every day is different. Your supervising physician is running behind schedule, the computer system with patient charts crashes, or a disgruntled patient exclaims his or her frustration in the waiting room. Being able to plan for such obstacles and think fast while staying calm ensures that each problem is solved while still being able to effectively treat other patients.

On a community level, running has also taught me about camaraderie and teamwork. Although running is normally thought of as an individual sport, it is because of all of the people I have befriended on group runs during marathon training that I have experienced success. Whether it’s a passing group on the trail saying, “Good morning runners!” or the volunteers handing out water cups, the running community creates a tight knit support group that encourages everyone to keep going and do their best. The groups share experiences, advice, and stories that all keep is inspired to move forward.

My teamwork was also reinforced as running led me to my job as a physical therapy aide for an outpatient clinic. Being able to be a part of a team of physical therapists, other aides like myself, and billing staff has allowed me to see that it is not any one person within the clinic that influences the patients experience and care. It is through working together, by listening to each other’s ideas, giving feedback, and communicating vital information, that each and every patient that steps through our doors is given the attention they need in a welcoming environment. There is nothing more satisfying than giving a patient their “graduation” t-shirt at their last appointment and instead of just a thank you, they hug you! Each patient leaves our clinic feeling like a part of a family. In order to make sure each patient leaves with this feeling, our teamwork is essential, and otherwise one communication slip or lack of attention could leave the wrong impression. As a physician assistant you are a part of a team, working with nurses, doctors or other medical professionals. Knowing how to effectively communicate with your team members in order to combine experiences and share information takes skill but overall increases efficiency and patient satisfaction when done properly.

Running has taught me skills and lessons I would have never expected it to. However as I move forward I seek a career that will allow me to share my passion of health, fitness, and medicine with others I find that the increased patient interaction allowed by a physician assistant would best suit my goals ensuring patients reach their optimum state of health. By effectively working within a team and continuing to persevere any obstacles I am determined to provide efficient and patient-focused health care services to whoever may need it.

[blueyxd]

Sounds great so far. I like how you used the whole theme of running to tie your values and motivation together. Being a reapplicant though, shouldn't you focus your statement more on why you are a better candidate than last year? Just my 2 cents. I am also a reapplicant and have pretty much written a whole new statement centering around the idea of how I am a better applicant and the steps I've taken to do so.

[swooshie1]

I think the general idea is great, and suggest that you keep the part about how running aligns with self-discipline that will be necessary to be successful in PA school. But, make that secondary. Primary should be describing your specific experience as an aide to tie into why you want to become a PA, why you SHOULD be a PA, and why you'll be successful as a PA. This is what the ADCOM wants to know. Compassion? Empathy? Listening skills? Any independent decision-making with respect to patient care? Your description of your work experience is very vague and general. Give more details. Speak less to your running and more to your work experiences; give SPECIFIC examples of your interactions with patients that requires these skills, rather than just saying you know it's needed to be a good PA. State exactly how you connected with patients through your job experience, rather than connecting with yourself through running. Does that make sense? And yes, as BlueXYD states, your PS as a re-applicant must reflect how you've grown in the past year. You might also consider that if you didn't get in last year (did you get interviews?) and if your PS was similar, that there was too much about running and not enough about your HCE. I hope this helps!

[Valeevad]

Hey guys! I am also a re-applicant this year and working on a new personal statement. I was wondering how much of "I am a better candidate this year" information I should include. The main narrative question is still the same: "Describe your motivation towards becoming a PA". The greatest influence of choosing this profession was shadowing a PA and that is my main focus of the essay. I actually plan to shadow the same PA this year, only in a different specialty, and I retook my GRE and will be taking more summer classes. However, after a detailed research, I will be applying to mostly all different schools. I guess I am struggling with where to fit how I have improved in the essay? Perhaps in conclusion? Or do you suggest that being the main topic of the essay? (even though most of the schools I will be applying to for the first time) Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

[Corpsman2PA]

Primary should be describing your specific experience as an aide to tie into why you want to become a PA, why you SHOULD be a PA, and why you'll be successful as a PA. This is what the ADCOM wants to know. Compassion? Empathy? Listening skills? Any independent decision-making with respect to patient care? Your description of your work experience is very vague and general. Give more details. Speak less to your running and more to your work experiences; !

 

This is great advice. OP, heed this.

[megruns519]

Thanks for all the advice. Literally right after I posted this I went and re-wrote my entire PS. I figured even though I'm only re-applying to two schools (the rest are all new), both which I had interviews at last year, it wouldn't look good to them if I was re-applying without telling them what I've learned or how I've grown. I really appreciate the advice and hopefully I will post a new one soon once its more perfected!