Because your opinion holds more value.....

[2full2eat]

Hey guys,

 

I am pre-pa and I know this is the wrong forum to ask, but if you read the title of this post, then....yea.

 

Any way I want to just show a piece of my PS explaining my lack in academic achievement. Im having a lot of trouble with this and wanted to get some PA students opinions! This would great to hear from people that are currently involved in the PA field. Im curious if I'm being too wordy, if its boring, if its whiny, or if its good/ok? Should I include what I learned from the experience....I feel I should but then ill end up wasting space on my PS even more.

 

After high school I enrolled myself at Suffolk County Community College hoping to learn where my interests could benefit me most. However, during my first two years as a student, I focused on working numerous part time jobs and on my social life, paying little attention to my academics. As a result of immaturity, my grades suffered and I was placed on academic probation. I knew I had to make some changes and I recognized I needed to set a goal to work towards and focus on. I considered a career in healthcare when I got my first job as a physical therapist aide, and I began working harder to improve my grades. Although doing much better, my grades were still not a reflection of my potential as a student. Once solidifying my ultimate goal towards becoming a physician assistant I applied and was accepted my senior year at SUNY Brockport where I completed my last 36 credits receiving nothing lower than a 3.0 Now as a post-baccalaureate I hold a 3.6 grade point average in all upper level sciences.

 

Thanks so much for those of you that were nice enough to help out. I know you guys have a lot on your plate as it is.

 

Cheers!

[cinntsp]

PA students can see the pre-PA and the personal statement forums. :wink:

[mackjacks]

I think it sounds alright but could use tweaking to convince the committee that you can handle PA school. I had less than stellar grades my first 2 years of undergrad but was accepted to several PA schools this cycle and will be starting this fall. I made certain to inform schools at interviews that my last 30 credits GPA is over a 3.7. This is the part of my PS addressing my academics (immediately prior to this I discussed my mom having breast cancer):

 

Overall, this experience was a learning opportunity for both of us and she is now in excellent health. Unfortunately, so much time away from school and the emotions brought about by the situation made it difficult to adjust to college life, which showed in my academic performance. This plagued me into my sophomore year, but over the course of the semesters that followed I have garnered expert skills at time management, effective studying, and preventing my personal life and emotions from affecting my work. The upward trend in my grades serves as evidence that I have the ability to succeed in any class that I put my mind to. I know if I were put into a situation like that of my freshman year with the maturity and skills that I now possess, I would achieve my goals.

[2full2eat]

Thanks a lot mackjacks! I can see why you received acceptance, congrats and good luck!

[mackjacks]

You're welcome and thank you for the congrats! I was thinking about your post today and wanted to add that I'd recommend making discussing academics as short and sweet as possible. If it's concise you'll have more of the 5K characters to use to talk about experiences and things that are definitely positive.

[2full2eat]

I know what you mean. I wish I could cut it down a lot more cuz its a pretty good chunk of my essay. I rewrote it the best I could a bunch of times and ill show you what I have now.......if your interested.

 

After high school, I enrolled myself at Suffolk County Community College hoping to define my interests and how they could benefit me most. However, during my first years as a student, I lacked focus and motivation, paying little attention to my academics, resulting in poor grades and being placed on academic probation. I recognized I needed to change and set a goal to focus on and work towards. My initial consideration for a career in healthcare started with my first job as a physical therapy aide. This gave me the purpose I needed to begin working harder to improve my grades, eventually making the dean's list. I still faced some obstacles in my life that reflected negatively in my grades but once solidifying my ultimate goal towards becoming a physician assistant, I applied and was accepted my senior year at SUNY Brockport. I completed my last 36 credits receiving nothing below a 3.0 average in every class. Currently as a post-baccalaureate I hold a 3.6 grade point average in all upper level sciences.

[mackjacks]

My ideas...are you applying to PA schools around Suffolk County Community College that will have heard of it? I haven't heard of it living in MI. I think the same point could be made just saying "enrolled myself in community college." If I were you, I'd leave out the whole last 36 credits nothing below a 3.0 line. 3.0 is a B right? It just doesn't seem necessary to include or sound particularly impressive the way it is worded IMHO. The last sentence makes the same kind of point as the previous one but sounds more impressive to me.