How to earn excellent letters of rec (from professors)?

[love23cali]

I have a tendency to leave class as soon as it is done. I do not tend to build great relationships with professors. I have had a couple that seemed to like me for no clear reason -perhaps because I'm an older student at 26 (?). I've also had professors that acted indifferent toward me, even if I received a great grade and was an active participant in class.

I do listen well during lectures. In the more interesting classes, I will ask questions. However, there have been situations where a professor walked around the room to get to know students, and I came up short. I was the last one to leave lab one day and was furiously packing up to get out of there. Meanwhile, the professor had calmly begun walking over and asked me a question (don't recall what about - maybe about my plans). I answered curtly before thanking her and rushing out.

Oops.

 

I just never want to be the last one in lab, keeping the professor waiting around. And I have a weird anxiety about being one on one with professors...I don't stutter or sweat, but rather feel awkward and unsure of where to take conversation. I tend to be fine with my peers and am not uncomfortable about having to speak with them. I've worked in food service and as a personal trainer where I was able to communicate well with customers and with clients.

 

So again, how can I work on my relationships with my professors from here on out and work toward those outstanding letters of recommendation? I suppose I'll need 2-3 from professors. I still have quite a few science courses to take (O Chem, Physics, Form&Function in Bio World, 1 qtr Calc, and 1 qtr Stats) before transferring for about 30 units of upper division courses, so I still have a chance.

[panglossian]

What are your class sizes like? What is the culture of your college like?

Your upper-level classes will usually be smaller and thus will allow you to build the relationships required to obtain stellar LORs from professors. You have identified several situations in which you could have interacted differently and I hope in the future you do not fret about wasting a professors time. Instead perhaps consider that they are interested in getting to know their students better as well! Professors are aware you will need LORs to get accepted into any graduate school and many are trying to get to know you so they can write you a good one.

I went to a small university and I had very close relationships with several professors, some of whom I did not even take a class with. If you asked, many professors would be happy to meet you in the cafeteria for lunch just to chat. I would stay after class to ask questions, go to office hours regularly, and usually hang out in the chemistry department, often in my academic advisor's office listening to music and doing homework. Not all professors are willing to be so casual, but make it your goal to get to know at least one professor per semester better.

 

[love23cali]

7 hours ago, panglossian said:

What are your class sizes like? What is the culture of your college like?

Your upper-level classes will usually be smaller and thus will allow you to build the relationships required to obtain stellar LORs from professors. You have identified several situations in which you could have interacted differently and I hope in the future you do not fret about wasting a professors time. Instead perhaps consider that they are interested in getting to know their students better as well! Professors are aware you will need LORs to get accepted into any graduate school and many are trying to get to know you so they can write you a good one.

I went to a small university and I had very close relationships with several professors, some of whom I did not even take a class with. If you asked, many professors would be happy to meet you in the cafeteria for lunch just to chat. I would stay after class to ask questions, go to office hours regularly, and usually hang out in the chemistry department, often in my academic advisor's office listening to music and doing homework. Not all professors are willing to be so casual, but make it your goal to get to know at least one professor per semester better.

 

Well, the class sizes are decent. Most professors seem to know our names in the first two weeks. The science classes start out with about 48 students and the labs 24. And as the classes progress, the numbers drop. However, the culture is certainly not one where a student could go to the cafeteria with the professors for lunch. I'm not sure I would want to go so far. Do you speak about personal topics (family, interests, etc) or about strictly the relevant subject matter? 

I do like that first paragraph - it's very relevant to my situation. I don't like to feel that I'm keeping someone from the things they'd be better off doing. I suppose I do assume that the professors are wanting to get home and will be irritated by my hanging around. Not all professors seem to care to get to know students at all, but if they're asking questions, I guess they wouldn't mind giving some of their time.

[mmchick]

Sounds like you just need to learn how to communicate in a professional/personal setting. This isn't something any of us can help you with. You're going to have to bite the bullet and force yourself in those uncomfortable situations so that you get used to them. You'll also have to talk to professors in PA school, and with your SPs- ergo, you'll have to learn how to speak to your superordinates.

One way I really got to know my professors was going to their office hours with just questions about class materials, and developed relationships organically that way. For one professor in particular, we had such a great relationship, that I even TA'd for one of his closed off classes (closed off as in he has to personally request TAs, there's no application process).

This is a valuable skill overall just in life. Force yourself into them, it's the only way to assimilate.

[love23cali]

3 hours ago, mmchick said:

Sounds like you just need to learn how to communicate in a professional/personal setting. This isn't something any of us can help you with. You're going to have to bite the bullet and force yourself in those uncomfortable situations so that you get used to them. You'll also have to talk to professors in PA school, and with your SPs- ergo, you'll have to learn how to speak to your superordinates.

One way I really got to know my professors was going to their office hours with just questions about class materials, and developed relationships organically that way. For one professor in particular, we had such a great relationship, that I even TA'd for one of his closed off classes (closed off as in he has to personally request TAs, there's no application process).

This is a valuable skill overall just in life. Force yourself into them, it's the only way to assimilate.

Yes, every manager that I've worked with has set a more laid back working environment. They don't bother to differentiate themselves from their employees. So I do need practice speaking with someone higher up in that more professional setting. I just don't want them to feel I was becoming too familiar - I know I need to understand my position. 

 

I'm not afraid to stop by and ask a question if I have it. I just wasn't sure that that was doing much for the professor/student relationship. I see students that stay behind to talk about whatever, and I see that working tremendously half the time (some act annoyed by clingy students or those who try too hard). They attempt to make the professor a friend. But I suppose it's like how parents say "we are not their friends" when discussing how to raise their children. 

 

Because the professors are not our friends, I keep a filter on. Conversation does not flow or feel comfortable to me, because I always have to consider before I speak.

[panglossian]

7 hours ago, love23cali said:

Do you speak about personal topics (family, interests, etc) or about strictly the relevant subject matter? 

 

The culture of your school sounds different than mine and you should definitely start relationships within the established norms. I would often talk with professors about subjects pertaining to class and then eventually with time be able to speak about more personal topics. Older people love talking about their kids so that is often a subject I bring up if I know they have kids. You are smart to keep the conversation professional, however, there are benefits to gain from becoming friendly with someone, especially professors and managers. 

[mmchick]

@love23cali I think you're way overthinking it. Forming relationships with professors is no different than anyone else in a professional setting. It starts out with work/class related small talk, and progresses to "what's appropriate" from there. It isn't supposed to be some sort of rehearsed skill that you can read about in a book, it's just socializing.