Submitting soon, please help!!

[ajohns734]

Hi, I'm a first time applicant and I really don't have anyone to read my statement so I'm reaching out to you for help. I'm over my character limit my 809 and I can't find where to cut. I'm also not sure if I'm going the right direction with this statement. I appreciate any comments!!

 

As a teenager without health insurance, I spent many years ignoring symptoms or eking by with whatever remedies I already had at home. Sure, when these methods did not work, I was forced to see a doctor, however, this was rarely the case. Thankfully, I was generally healthy and could manage only going to my health department once a year. Unfortunately, this is not the circumstance for many, and chronic illnesses go undiagnosed and uncontrolled.

 

I can understand why someone would rather ignore their symptoms than see a doctor. I dreaded going to the health department because I never knew if I would ever see the same provider again. Many just do not recognize the importance of preventive care and how it could save their heart, foot, or even life. Some just feel like they do not connect with their provider or just cannot understand them. Sometimes, it comes down to what is more important right now: eating today or diabetes tomorrow.

 

These observations led me to pursue healthcare, where I hope to be part of the solution of providing stability for the underprivileged, underrepresented, and financially burdened. Having spent nearly ten years in healthcare, I have interacted with a variety of providers, but it is to a physician assistant (PA) that I relate. PAs help close the gap of disparities within healthcare by providing an affordable means to primary care. Also, with the supportive nature of a PA in the physician-PA team, they are available to allow for more time with each patient. This is important not only in forming a lasting relationship with patients, but also in giving them the knowledge to make healthy decisions. In addition, the generalist training that PAs obtain make them more flexible to adapt to the needs of their community and even carry their skills globally. All of these reasons are significant to me, having seen many of these issues firsthand.

 

Upon graduating from high school, I became a pharmacy technician. This position solidified my interests in the science of medicine and furthered my awareness of the huge role of primary care providers in the health system. I remember, on several occasions, patients coming in and requesting a refill for a medication that they not only could not name but had no idea why it was prescribed. Others, having seen so many different providers, had redundant medications or even drug interactions.

 

After several years at the pharmacy, I knew I wanted to be more involved with patients and began working in registration at the emergency department of my local hospital. I witnessed patients without options sit for hours to be seen for fevers and headaches, just as I had years earlier. For many, this was their primary care experience. One PA there recognized this and provided them extra attention. I watched him take the time to go over each medication these patients were taking, not only to ensure there were no drug interactions but also to explain the purpose of each. When his patients need refills, instead of asking for “the little blue pill,” they can confidently ask for their blood pressure medication. My perspective grew substantially due to this; I wanted to be a patient advocate.

 

I moved home after college to further my career in medicine. Rising from a unit secretary to becoming a patient care technician, I got my first hands-on experiences with patients. This position showed me how rewarding patient care is, even if it can be messy and often thankless. One morning as I was assisting a patient to the bathroom, she began sweating and complaining of blurred vision. I immediately called for someone to come in so we could check her blood sugar levels; it was 37 mg/dL. With the nurse at my side, we got the patient back to bed and gave IV glucose. I am happy to have recognized these symptoms and react appropriately without hesitation. Moments like this led me to see that I want to not only treat patients but learn to diagnose as well.

 

I know the path to becoming a PA will be difficult. A PA program is not only a science-intensive graduate-level platform, but it is in an accelerated format that involves a great deal of dedication and determination. As someone who has held two, sometimes three, jobs while attending university full-time, I am confident in my skills obtained in time- and stress-management. I recall, on several occasions, getting off work, eating in the car on the way to class, coming home to study all night, then doing it all again the next day. The ability to balance multiple obligations while still finding time for yourself takes practice, but is important for mental and physical health as well as success in such a rigorous program. For me, the most significant tool in succeeding under such stress is a strong support network. During my sophomore year in undergrad, I lost my older cousin. Never having dealt with death before, I was unable to cope with losing my best friend; eventually, I failed two semesters. Reflecting upon this irresponsibility, I was able to use the trust and support of my family and friends to overcome this hardship and push forward. These abilities, however, will help me succeed in this challenging new academic path.

 

My professional experiences in several healthcare fields has given me a unique perspective of the process involved in patient care, from the moment they come in to  after they leave. This has made me cognizant and appreciative of everyone’s role in said process. We come from several backgrounds and experiences that allow us to integrate together and ultimately provide better patient care. I am certain in my ability to translate my skills into my studies as well as future practice and become a successful PA. I am also confident that I can relate and help close the gap in available healthcare as a primary care provider.

[ajohns734]

Ok, I sat down and tried to get rid of the redundancies in my statement. That helped a lot but I'm still about 480 characters over. This is the revised version:

 

As a teenager without health insurance, I spent many years ignoring symptoms or eking by with whatever remedies I already had at home. Thankfully, I was generally healthy and could manage going to my health department once a year. Unfortunately, this is not the circumstance for many, and chronic illnesses go undiagnosed and uncontrolled.

 

I can understand why someone would rather ignore their symptoms than see a doctor. I dreaded going to the health department because I never knew if I would see the same provider again. Many just do not recognize the importance of preventive care and how it could save their heart, foot, or even life. Some just feel like they do not connect with their provider or cannot understand them. Sometimes, it comes down to what is more important right now: eating today or diabetes tomorrow.

 

These observations led me to pursue healthcare, where I hope to be part of the solution of providing stability for the underprivileged, underrepresented, and financially burdened. Having spent ten years in healthcare, I have interacted with a variety of providers, but it is to a physician assistant (PA) that I relate. PAs help close the gap of disparities within healthcare by providing an affordable means to primary care. Also, with the supportive nature of a PA in the physician-PA team, they allow for more time with each patient. This is important not only in forming a lasting relationship with patients, but also in giving them the knowledge to make healthy decisions. In addition, the generalist training that PAs obtain make them more flexible to adapt to the needs of their community and even carry their skills globally. All of these reasons are significant to me, having seen many of these issues firsthand.

 

Upon graduating from high school, I became a pharmacy technician. This position solidified my interests in the science of medicine and furthered my awareness of the huge role of primary care providers in the health system. I remember patients coming in and requesting a refill for a medication that they not only could not name but had no idea why it was prescribed. Others, having seen so many different providers, had redundant medications or even drug interactions.

 

After several years at the pharmacy, I wanted to be more involved with patients and began working in registration at the emergency department of my local hospital. I witnessed patients without options sit for hours to be seen for fevers and headaches, just as I had years earlier. For many, this was their primary care experience. One PA there recognized this and provided them extra attention. I watched him take the time to go over each medication these patients were taking, to ensure there were no drug interactions and to explain the purpose of each. When his patients need refills, instead of asking for “the little blue pill,” they can confidently ask for their blood pressure medication. My perspective grew substantially due to this; I want to be a patient advocate.

 

I moved home after college to further my career in medicine. Rising from a unit secretary to a patient care technician, I got my first hands-on experiences with patients. This position showed me how rewarding patient care is, even if it is often messy and thankless. One morning as I was assisting a patient to the bathroom, she began sweating and complaining of blurred vision. I immediately called for someone to come in so we could check her blood sugar levels; it was 37 mg/dL. With the nurse at my side, we got the patient back to bed and gave IV glucose. I am happy to have recognized these symptoms and react appropriately without hesitation. Moments like this led me to see that I want to not only treat patients but diagnose as well.

 

I know the path to becoming a PA will be difficult. A PA program is a science-intensive, accelerated platform that involves a great deal of dedication and determination. As someone who has held two, sometimes three, jobs while attending university full-time, I am confident in my skills obtained in time- and stress-management. I recall getting off work, eating in the car on the way to class, coming home to study all night, then doing it all again the next day. The ability to balance multiple obligations while still finding time for yourself takes practice, but is important for mental and physical health as well as success in a rigorous program. For me, the most significant tool in excelling under such stress is a strong support network. During my sophomore year in undergrad, I lost my older cousin. Never having dealt with death before, I was unable to cope with losing my best friend; eventually, I failed two semesters. Reflecting upon this, I was able to use the trust and support of my family and friends to overcome this hardship and push forward. These experiences will help me succeed in this challenging new academic path.

 

My experiences in several healthcare fields has given me a unique perspective of the process involved in patient care, from the moment they come in to after they leave. This has made me cognizant and appreciative of everyone’s role in this process. We come from several backgrounds and experiences that allow us to integrate together and ultimately provide better patient care. I am certain in my ability to translate my skills into my studies as well as future practice and become a successful PA. I am also confident that I can relate and help close the gap in available healthcare as a primary care provide

[Disciple3]

I would evaluate how your first paragraph grabs attention, it is mediocre.  Also, you need to check this over for punctiation again as I noticed quite a few mistakes that would be fixed automatically in Word.  I would not say "getting more time with patients" for a reason why you want to be a PA, as many get about the same time or less.  I think the second to last paragraph is good as it illustrates why you'd do well in school but remember to relate the paragraphs back to the prompt.  "Why do you want to be a PA?"  ask and answer how each part of this essay answers that and you'll be on the right track.

[Disciple3]

Looking at your other thread, I really liked your intro there better.  It showed what made medicine scary for you as a child and you can use this to tie into why the PA made you feel comfortable and then inspired you to pursue a career.  It is also a much more attention grabbing opening to me.  Experiences are always better.