First draft help! Typos, grammar mistakes, and more!

[krb6590]

Deleted

[krb6590]

buuuump 

[DiggySRNA]

I like it.  I think you have touched on everything a PS needs. A story about your self, your direct patient care experience, and what motivates you to become a PA.

Only thing missing is; what are your goals as a PA?

[krb6590]

Thank you umbPA!  I was hoping you would comment on mine since I've seen you help many others on here with solid advice.  I'm thinking that adding a new paragraph for goals as a PA would fit well between paragraphs 3 and 4, so I'll give that a shot.

[DiggySRNA]

You can condense paragraph 3 (1-2 sentences), and merge it with paragraph 4 (need to make it shorter also), and not lose what you're trying to say. This will allow you to add what your goals are as a PA as a new paragraph.