Narrative essay from a pharmacist's perspective

[Sandrock12]

Hi, I would appreciate any feedback on the following narrative essay: 

 

In western-central South America, a heart beats to an improbable and irregular rhythm. As the rubber earpiece of the stethoscope leaves my ears, I pass over the nervous face of a female patient as she sits impatiently. Moments later, the patient whose heart I had just listened to was now in deep conversation with the physician assistant caring for her. He calmly and confidently reassured his patient that she would receive the proper care for her arrhythmia. He was not only able to put his patient at ease, but he had somehow instilled a sense of deep respect and admiration in me. I had done my duties as a pharmacy student and reviewed this patient’s medications for any interactions, but there was something about my job that seemed incomplete and unsatisfactory to me. This patient had been at the hospital for several days. During that time, the PA had taken this patient’s physical and history, interpreted labs, prescribed medication and routinely monitored his patient for stability. Conversely, I had only seen this patient for a single day and had limited knowledge of her health. I lacked the provision to provide a longitudinal and continual level of care for her.

 

That was my first real-life encounter with a physician assistant - on medical mission trip to Cochabamba, Bolivia. I had come to Bolivia as a pharmacy student to assist the medical mission team in any medication related inquiries and recommendations, but it seems I left with a new found passion. Simply put, this is when I decided that I wanted to be more involved in patient care. This encounter was not the only time I had become intrigued by the idea of pursuing a career as a physician assistant. During my internal medicine pharmacy school rotations, I was able to interact and shadow with physicians, physician assistants and physician assistant students. Often, I as I accompanied them to see their assigned patients, I was not only able to  make medication recommendations, but I was also able to observe physicians perform a history and physical.During one occasion, I had worked collaboratively with a physician assistant student  to optimize an antibiotic regimen for a patient with an invasive fungal infection. Through this experience, I realized that PAs are trained in performing physical examinations, ordering diagnostic tests, and prescribing medications.

 

Being a pharmacist, managing medications is certainly important to me, but it was only a piece of the puzzle that comprises patient care. As a pharmacist, I am limited in my scope of practice to provide a continuum of care that includes a complete medical approach. For example, working as a pharmacist in the community, I often see patients at the later stages of their care. However, my desire is to be back upstream at the initial presentation of a patient. One particular patient that often visits my pharmacy always comes to mind. This patient suffers from hyperthyroidism. I have no problem educating her on the specifics of her medication, but to have the ability to conduct a proper physical and history as well as ordering the right labs for this patient would be increasingly gratifying for me. I’m someone who always looks at the bigger picture; in this case the holistic view on patient care is something I aspire to attain. Becoming a physician assistant will allow me to establish rapport and compassion with my patients on a higher level.

I’m confident that my experiences as a pharmacy student and pharmacist have prepared me to smoothly transition into physician assistant school. A good friend of mine once told me “knowledge is never lost, just transformed.” I believe this principle holds true for my particular situation as the knowledge I've acquired can supplement a career as a physician assistant. I’ve been able to understand and apply the concepts behind pharmacotherapy, preventative health counseling, interpreting clinical lab values as well as communicating and empathizing with patients. In addition to these important traits, I’ve also interacted with several members of the healthcare team during my clinical rotations, medical mission trips and volunteer experience. I can confidently say that these past encounters have not only prepared me for the rigorous  expectations of  physician assistant school, but they have also provided me with a vivid outlook on the role of PAs within the healthcare world.

[Sandrock12]

Any feedback is helpful :)

[Topsy]

This essay isn't bad. Considering how challenging pharmacy programs are, I understand that you don't have to go into a long spiel about how smart you are/how you can endure the rigors of a PA program.

 

But overall, I found it a bit lacking/impersonal. You mention mission trips and volunteer experience, but you only say and don't explain. Explaining makes for active/interesting reading so don't skimp! Adding a deeper explanation could really personalize it. Furthermore, on the brief glance I gave it, I was uncertain why you decided PA in particular; I guess it felt like I could replace PA with nurse or MD and the story could have the same effect.

 

Overall I would try to develop/specify/differentiate a bit more, because obviously as a Pharm student you gots the smarts (so we can assume you're in for GPA and science stuffs) but don't forget to really show the humane side of your personality.

[Sandrock12]

Thanks! I'll try and personalize it a bit more. 

[Sandrock12]

Okay, So I've made some revisions to make it more personal. Please let me know if this version is better: 

 

In western-central South America, a heart beats to an irregular rhythm. As the rubber earpiece of the stethoscope leaves my ears, I pass over the nervous face of a female patient named Patricia as she sits impatiently. Moments later, Patricia was in deep conversation with the physician assistant caring for her. He calmly and confidently reassured his patient that she would receive the proper care for her hypothyroidism and arrhythmia. He was not only able to put Patricia at ease, but he had somehow instilled a sense of deep respect and admiration in me. I had done my duties as a pharmacy student and reviewed this patient’s medications for any interactions, but there was something about my job that seemed incomplete and unsatisfactory to me. This patient had been at the hospital for several days. During that time, the PA had taken Patricia’s physical and history, interpreted labs, prescribed the proper medication and routinely monitored his patient for stability. Conversely, I had only seen this patient for a single day and had limited knowledge of her health. I lacked the provision to provide a longitudinal and continual level of care for her.

 

That was my first real-life encounter with a physician assistant - on medical mission trip to Cochabamba, Bolivia. I had come to Bolivia as a pharmacy student volunteer, but it seems I left with a new found passion for the practice of medicine. I could have easily made the safe and conservative decision to work the rest of my life as a pharmacist. The road to pharmacy had already been paved, but I know that sometimes the easiest path might not always be the right one.

 

The trip to Bolivia had not only galvanized me to pursue a career as a physician assistant, but it has specifically influenced my interest of primary care medicine in impoverished areas. During my encounter with Patricia, I had quickly learned that her living situation was in shambles as she drifted from place to place looking for temporary shelter. She didn't have a family or support group to aid her during her suffering. I’ll never forget as she broke down in tears upon learning that her clinic visit was free of charge. It’s one thing to treat patients physically, but it’s a completely different level of satisfaction when you’ve also brought some hope and joy into a patient’s life. I was able to comfort Patricia with a simple smile as I explained what her medications were being used for. I have no problem educating Patricia on her medication, but to have the ability to conduct a proper physical and history in order to identify the signs and symptoms of her hypothyroidism, as well as ordering the right labs and medication would be increasingly gratifying for me and ultimately allow me to establish rapport and compassion with my patients on a higher level.

Becoming a pharmacist was only a piece of the puzzle for me. When I worked at a community pharmacy, I often saw patients at the later stages of their care. However, my desire is to be back upstream at the initial presentation of a patient. A good friend of mine once told me “knowledge is never lost, just transformed.” I believe this principle holds true for my particular situation as the knowledge I’ve acquired can supplement a career as a physician assistant. I’ve been able to understand and apply the concepts behind pharmacotherapy, preventative health counseling, interpreting clinical lab values as well as communicating and empathizing with patients. I can confidently say that these past encounters have not only prepared me for the rigorous expectations of physician assistant school, but they have also provided me with a vivid outlook on the role of PAs within the healthcare world.

[CSCH]

To be completely honest, I preferred the first version. I'm sorry because that's probably not exactly what you wanted to hear after going through the work of revising your narrative, but I'm just one person, and I've never worked on an admissions committee, so don't take me too seriously!

 

Here's my take: I liked the first draft mostly because it seemed to flow better, which actually let more of your personality come through. Topsy was right, it did need to be a bit more personal, but I think the bulk of what you started with was really good. You're probably not too close to the 5,000 characters limit yet, so there would be room to simply add sentences or a separate paragraph. Also, although I realize she's in Bolivia, it's probably not appropriate to use Patricia's real name. Patient confidentiality is a big deal.

 

Hope that helps!!

[CSCH]

Also, I agree with Topsy again that you should explain in some way you're choosing PA and not MD/DO/NP/nurse/whatever.