1st Draft, need serious advice!

[lsllvan2]

         As a child, I always dreamt of a career that would enable me to care for others. As I transitioned into young adulthood, I realized that would career would be in the medical field. Throughout high school, my favorite classes were always in the science discipline, especially Anatomy.

         I first learned about the physician assistant profession when I began researching careers in the medical field during my freshman year of college. There were so many positives about the PA profession that I was instantly interested. Not only could I diagnose and treat patients, but I could also change specialties if I ever decided to. Also, by working as a team with a doctor, tough diagnoses could be discussed to give the patient the best form of treatment. While shadowing at Faith Family Medical, I really saw the positive relationships between nurse practitioners, PA’s, and physicians. They would perform their daily duties independently, but if a question arose, there was no hesitation to ask others for advice. As the PA that I shadowed told me that it is always better to say I don’t know than to give information that may be incorrect. 

         I believe that my education and other life experiences have prepared me for a life as a PA. Working at a pediatric clinic provided me with invaluable knowledge of the patient-provider relationship. The clinic also provided me with a good foundation in symptom presentation, treatments, and diagnoses. Having physicians and nurse practitioners that were willing to explain diagnoses and treatments enabled me to learn even more. Working at the clinic has also allowed me to improve my communication skills with patients. Communication is key to providing good care. My job consists of calling the patient back, recording their chief complaint, and then recording their vitals. All of this requires excellent communication between myself and the patient. I have to make sure I’m writing down the information the patient is giving me correctly. This allows the provider to get a preliminary idea of why the patient is being seen. 

         With the new healthcare reform being put in place, more patients that ever will be seeing providers. It is important to me that the provider-patient relationship remain intact. When there is trust between a patient and a provider, care is more accurate and meaningful. As a PA, it would be important to create a healthy and caring environment for patients because this is what keeps the relationship going. After seeing how the PA functions on a daily basis, I know this is something that I want to do.

[IDrunner11]

Ok serious advice -

It is really generic and not personal enough.

You need examples, experiences, details, what makes you stand out as a potential PA in the future?

[NathanLe]

Agree with Idrunner. Right now it's white rice - adcoms are looking for that cajun spice. Don't lie or feel the need to boast too much, but give them a reason to want to meet you after reading 25 other essays that day. Get personal and specific.

[lsllvan2]

Thank you I will definitely work on it. 

[lsllvan2]

I was sitting on the couch with my boyfriend and some of his friends one day when he suddenly began to seize violently. I immediately knew what was happening and tried to get him on his side. One of his friends dialed 911 while we moved the furniture away from him so he wouldn’t injure himself. This experience really enforced my desire to enter into a medical profession. I have always dreamt of a career that would enable me to care for others. As I transitioned into young adulthood, I realized that would career would be in the medical field. Throughout high school, my favorite classes were always in the science discipline, especially Anatomy. I was fascinated, and I couldn’t get enough of it. 

        I first learned about the physician assistant profession when I began researching careers in the medical field during my freshman year of college. There were so many positives about the PA profession that I was instantly interested. Not only could I diagnose and treat patients, but I could also change specialties if I ever decided to. Also, by working as a team with a doctor, tough diagnoses could be discussed to give the patient the best form of treatment. While shadowing at Faith Family Medical, I really saw the positive relationships between nurse practitioners, PA’s, and physicians. They would perform their daily duties independently, but if a question arose, there was no hesitation to ask others for advice. As the PA that I shadowed told me that it is always better to say I don’t know than to give information that may be incorrect. 

      I believe that my education and other life experiences have prepared me for a life as a PA. Working at a pediatric clinic provided me with invaluable knowledge of the patient-provider relationship. The clinic also provided me with a good foundation in symptom presentation, treatments, and diagnoses. Having physicians and nurse practitioners that were willing to explain diagnoses and treatments enabled me to learn even more. Working at the clinic has also allowed me to improve my communication skills with patients. Communication is key to providing good care. My job consists of calling the patient back, recording their chief complaint, and then recording their vitals. All of this requires excellent communication between myself and the patient. I have to make sure I’m writing down the information the patient is giving me correctly. This allows the provider to get a preliminary idea of why the patient is being seen. My education, while tough at times, was very rewarding. I managed to graduate with honors despite a few rough courses. 

      With the new healthcare reform being put in place, more patients that ever will be seeing providers. It is important to me that the provider-patient relationship remain intact. When there is trust between a patient and a provider, care is more accurate and meaningful. As a PA, it would be important to create a healthy and caring environment for patients because this is what keeps the relationship going. While I was shadowing one day, there was a patient who was following up after seeing her cardiologist. She insisted on hearing the results from the PA even though the cardiologist had already explained everything to her. She told me it was because she trusted her provider. To the patient, the PA was the only person who could adequately provide care for her because she was seeing the whole picture, not just one part of her body. After seeing how a PA functions on a daily basis, I know this is something that I want to do. 

[AZ-Buckeye]

The first paragraph is a good start, it held my attention. Alot of the essay is describing qualities and/or characteristics. Remember your audience are PAs. They know this information, what they dont know is "you". I would personalize it more to your experiences and read other essays as examples.  Share with them information that describes "why" you want to be a PA, this was not very evident when reading your essay. The essay did not seem to flow very well, presented as somewhat sporatic. The essay should make you stand out from others and written so they want to meet you, when reading this it was very generic. I hope this helps

[IDrunner11]

Agree with AZ-Buckeye. The first paragraph is a good start but it needs a lot more work. I suggest you read a few of the personal statements that are posted on the forums some are really good others need work; pay attention to the feedback given and you will see what makes a personal statement strong and what doesn't.

 

I wrote mine about 4 times and what helped me was reading a book about how to get accepted to PA school. The personal statement section gives you examples of successful ones and others that are just too vague.