Please Provide input

[frenchy]

My grandfather was a cop, my father was a cop and my brotherwas a cop. Growing up in a family likethat, it was obvious that serving others was my legacy. Like most little boys, I wanted to be justlike my dad. I played cops and robbers,constantly asked to see his gun and handcuffs and wanted to play with thelights and sirens every time he drove a cruiser home. This all changed suddenly one day when I was10 years old, my father had committed suicide. In an instant I went from being the son of intact couple in a seemingly normalfamily to being a child of a single mother with the stigma of suicide hangingover our heads.

I knew that things at home were not normal and that to growand mature I would have to get out on my own. I knew that due to my immaturity and lack of financial resources collegewas not an option. I joined the Navy andleft for Boot Camp just 6 weeks after graduation. My initial plan was to do my initialenlistment and then get out of the Navy. I ended up staying the Navy serving for 21 years and caring for Sailorand Marines that were also serving the country.

In high school I had taken some health occupations classesand wanted to further explore medicine as a possible career field. I decided to be a Hospital Corpsman in the Navy. I knew the military would provide training,an opportunity to begin working in the medical field quickly and the maturityand discipline I was looking for. Iworked various assignments from labor and delivery at a fixed medical facilityto serving with Marine Corps infantry units in Iraq.

I was able to work alongside many different health careprofessionals. I used these opportunitiesto explore many of the various of health care professions. I read about the professions, observed thesecareers first hand and spoke with the professionals about the advantages anddisadvantages of each of these positions. I realized that becoming a Physician Assistant was the correct choicefor me. I like the flexibility of the PAcareer allows along with being part of a health care team.

Knowing what I wanted, it was time for me to begin to put aplan into action. I started working onmy bachelor's degree. I was still onactive duty and the father of two young children. Being a full time student was impossible. I took night classes while juggling 6 monthdeployments, pre-deployment training, working 40 to 60 hours a week, a wife andtwo kids. I completed my bachelor'sdegree and then began taking classes working towards completing theprerequisites for PA school.

While volunteering as a youth leader in my church, Ichaperoned a group of teens to summer camp at Word of Life in upstate NewYork. During the week at camp I met agentleman on the staff of Word of Life that was organizing health care teams todeveloping countries around the world. Six weeks later I joined a team traveling to Venezuela to provide healthcare to natives along the Orinoco River. Sleeping in a hammock strung between two posts in the back of theclinic, working long hours and being separated from my family made this a verychallenging week. However, seeing thesmiling faces of the people and their gratitude towards the team for helpingthem made it a very rewarding week.

This opportunity came as my retirement from the Navy wasapproaching. I had been searching fordirection as to what to do after retiring from the Navy. After this trip I was offered a position withWord of Life coordinating the health care teams. Since my first trip, I have been on 12 ofthese trips to 9 different countries. Icontinue working in this position to this day and providing care to thestudents at the Bible Institute and summer camps.

It is my desire to become a PA for two main reasons. First, I live in the Adirondacks of upstateNew York. This is a medicallyunderserved area. I want to work inprimary care in this area to increase access to care. Second, I want to be able to offer more tothe people I care for on the international health care teams.

Knowing what my goal is I have not allowed any obstacles tostand in my way. I may have gone aboutthis differently than some, but I also know that this is my journey and eachstep has been for a purpose. I haveseveral hurdles in front of me before the finish line. Based on my perseverance in the past, I amconfident that I will be able to get over those hurdles. I know that I have not gotten here on my ownand I will be able to finish on my own. I have the backing of the people I work for, my wife and my kids. How can I fail? Now All I need is for one chance. I need one chance to be accepted to PA schooland continue in my life of service. Thisis your chance to become part of this adventure. Despite the challenges I have never stoppedlearning, enduring and growing toward my goal of becoming a PA and I will neverstop until I have reached this goal.

[Howezer]

I think the narrative reveals many positive qualities about you, and will give the reader a connection to you. It may be beneficial to give more about why PA is your choice, and what a PA is. I picked out that you see the career as flexible, and you want to serve people. The two main reasons for wanting to be a PA are a little confusing to me. You say you want to offer care in your local area, but also care for international teams? I probably just don't have a full understanding of the local vs international, but may help to be more descriptive there.

[scparker]

Try to stick to professional language in your statement, like replacing "cop" with "police officer." It sounds a little too casual. Besides that, very moving!