PS re-write! It's slightly too long- ideas on what to slice out?

[kris_]

Hi everyone! Feedback would be appreciated- and help with any grammar errors! This is a complete re-write from my previous PS. It's currently a little too long- so if there's something you don't like or that you don't think is relevant please speak up! Any tips on how to write more concisely would be appreciated as well! I'm not in school and have been searching for a writing center to help me with my PS but have been unable to find one. Thanks for your help!!

 

 

I was first introduced to the physician assistant (PA) profession in a surgical waiting room when I was 16 years old. My twin sister, Isabelle, had been rushed into surgery after her lung collapsed. Until that moment, I had never truly been afraid. Of course, when I was a child I was afraid of the tree branch that sometimes scraped against our bedroom window. However, Isabelle had always been there to be terrified with me and this was a new kind of fear. Although I was surrounded by my family, I had never felt more alone. Then the PA rushed in. She was wearing green scrubs and a hair net and looked me right in the eye and said “She’s going to be just fine.” She came over, pulled up a chair, and introduced herself as Katherine. She explained to us what had happened and what the next steps were. She didn’t act rushed and she made us feel like an important part of Isabelle's treatment and recovery. Since that day, Isabelle’s lung has collapsed two more times. After the second time, Katherine gave my family her personal cell phone number. The third time, Katherine met us at the emergency room on a Saturday afternoon and helped to expedite Isabelle’s admissions process. Nearly nine years later, I look back and realize that Katherine’s dedication to her patients and caring demeanor are strengths that are highlighted by the PA profession. Getting to know Katherine throughout my sister’s treatment gave me insight into the impact that PAs have on their patients.

 

I started working in the medical field during my junior year of high school. At 17, I was by far the youngest optometric assistant at the small practice. However, I learned quickly and was fascinated with my new found responsibility. I worked very hard and was able to pay for my first year of college without getting a job. However, my sophomore year I decided to start working again in an effort to leave college with as little debt as possible. I started working as a research assistant at a smoking cessation clinic. One thing that I love about research is that as long as a patient meets the inclusion criteria for a study we don’t say no to anyone. This stipulation allowed me to work with people from every background, including many without medical insurance. Each patient I worked with had distinct motivations for wanting to quit smoking, varying levels of support, and different hindrances. Prior to working in clinical research I viewed illness as a problem with a distinct, scientifically proven solution. Addiction medicine opened my eyes to the diversity of each situation. Just as illness affects a patient's life, each patient's unique life story greatly influences his or her ability to overcome illness. Through my shadowing experiences, I learned that PAs often have the time to get to know patients on the level that is necessary to take all of these factors into consideration. This is not because PAs are in any way less busy than physicians. Instead, the role of a PA includes taking a full medical and social history and spending time educating their patients.

 

After graduating from college, I wanted to broaden my horizons and explore a new field of research. I was offered a research position in a family medicine clinic. I work in patient-centered research to find ways to better treat and more accurately diagnose hypertension. As a study coordinator I serve as the liaison between my research patients and the study doctor. This relationship has exposed me to clinical decision-making and the complex inner workings of a healthcare team. While I believe I am making significant contributions to healthcare, I find the limitations of clinical research to be frustrating. I often feel powerless when participants ask me questions about treatment and I’m forced to give them answers from the research protocol. I want to work in a setting where I can use my strong communication skills and compassion to counsel and educate patients. PA school will give me the clinical competency and medical education needed to address a wide variety of healthcare needs.

 

Due to the unique flexibility of the PA profession, I decided that I must shadow multiple specialties in order to fully understand the role. Thoracic surgery taught me that a PA is an invaluable resource to both patient and doctor, which further motivated me as this demonstrated the importance of collaboration. Primary care demonstrated how the PA profession plays a critical role in making high-quality healthcare affordable and accessible. Internal medicine showed me the importance of being culturally competent in today’s healthcare system. I have always dreamed of having a career that is fulfilling and significant. My decision to pursue the PA profession is built upon a solid foundation of experiences. A career as a PA will allow me to use the strengths of my character to make a difference both on a personal level with patients and on a larger scale by aiding the effort to provide high-quality and affordable healthcare.

[kris_]

Just going to poke this again since it fell so quickly =) Any feedback would be appreciated! Love it? Hate it? Put you to sleep?