Ps

[bpulayya]

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to look at my PS. Please give me honest feedback.

 

 

A faint knocking at my door jolted me from my once peaceful sleep. My mother, trembling in the doorway, explained she was taking my father to the hospital. Her usual steady composure was absent and uneasiness overcame her as she explained my father was feeling discomfort in his arm. She began to assure me that it was no emergency; just a precaution. Obscured by my denials, I said my goodbyes and without giving much of a second thought, I drifted back to sleep. Hours later, I received a troubling phone call. My father’s condition was not minor and, in fact, he had suffered a major heart attack. Through my mother’s sobs and whimpers, I could only understand that he was being air lifted to a hospital that was better equipped to save his life. I rushed to the hospital only to find him in the Intensive Care Unit. My eyes fixated on his heart monitor—the steady beats provided me little comfort. My father was fighting for each and every breath, and all I could do was idly watch. For weeks, his condition remained stagnant, and that hospital bed continued to be his prison. A routine tracheostomy was performed, and it was then that my father passed away. His suffering ended, and he was finally at peace.

There was no greater pain than losing my father, and as I was coming to grips with my loss, tragedy struck yet again. A month before my first semester of college, my own health began to deteriorate. I was in constant, debilitating pain. I often fell to my knees in agony. It felt like my insides were being torn out. After countless tests, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. My condition was severe enough that my doctors recommended a Colectomy. However, reluctant to go through surgery, my doctors put me on a treatment plan, which required me to take twenty-three pills a day.

Hopeful that my recovery was going well, I attended my first day of school—which ended with two paramedics hovering over me. I had passed out on campus, which led to subsequent visits to the hospital. My health was again deteriorating, which resulted in me having to withdraw from my courses. This disease had ravaged both my body and mind. I was merely a fragment of my former self; unrecognizable by loved ones. My body was weak, having lost thirty pounds in only a month, and my mind grew weary having lost hope of leading a normal life. After countless struggles, I was finally able to come to terms with my condition. I grew tired of the constraints Ulcerative Colitis placed on my life, and I became stronger. I was determined to live a great life and not simply live to get through the long days.

I re-enrolled in college, and with my UC in remission, I started over. My life was back on track, until one evening during a Remicaid infusion where I experienced difficulties breathing and my body was then filled with Benadryl to combat the effects of the allergic reaction. Surgery was now my only option.

My illness had not only provided me with inner strength, but also a newfound interest in the medical field. Initially I had hopes of becoming a physician, but the years taken away from me by my disease had made that goal difficult. Time was precious and I wanted to begin working without much of a delay. I began taking courses that could be universally applied, and within the heath field, at the University of Florida.

It was at UF where I was exposed to a profession I was not aware of previously. Physician Assistant was not a commonly talked about profession and after discovering it, I was intrigued. I decided to immerse myself in the field and I spent time shadowing a PA in the emergency room and a bone marrow transplant unit. I found it invigorating that they had the ability to freely practice medicine across different specialties. I saw how the PA connected to the patients and within an instant I knew this was my calling.

As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” This statement truly resonated with me, and so, with a fire in my heart, I began my journey to becoming a PA. I wanted to inspire others, as I had been, and so I volunteered within my community. I had the opportunity to educate the residents of Alachua County about the risk, consequences, and improvements they could make in their lives to ensure a healthy heart. My own struggles and loss helped me connect with people on deeper level than most. As a Physician Assistant I would celebrate my patient’s triumphs, and console them in their suffering. There would be no greater honor then to serve my community and gave back to the world, which has given me so much.

[bpulayya]

cough cough

[Corpsman2PA]

Need a cough suppressant?

So you want to be a PA because you heard about it on campus and shadowed for a bit? I'm not knocking your reasons (we all have our own), it just comes across superficial to me. You paint a good "trial and triumph" story within your statement, with some minor grammar issues, but overall I think you're close. I'm getting the vibe that you didn't do too hot in school and are accounting for that here? I feel like you're showing us that you have the potential and drive to be a PA, but there is no demonstrated evidence to back it up. That would be my only advice. How do we know you really would be good with patients? Have you ever actually celebrated a patient's triumph, and consoled them in their suffering? You dont have to be a PA to do that. At any rate, it is a personal statement and yours is personal so take any advice with a grain of salt.

[bpulayya]

@ Corpsman2PA, thanks for your input, I will definitely make some changes to my PS.

[patachok]

I feel that your PS is definitely very personal and at some point heartbreaking... which is good.

I somewhat agree with the previous post. Your weakness is lack of direct health care experience, which is obviously a big minus. Also, if I were you, I would not say you wanted to become a doctor, but then decided otherwise because of the time commitment. Definitely omit that, ADCOMs do not like reading that. You are not here to tell us why you did not become a doctor, but rather why you want to become a PA.

 

Make sure you mention what a PA is and what they do. In your PS you not only have to sell yourself, but also make sure you show ADCOMs you know what PA is and what they do.

Make your essay stronger by integrating all the points of criticism from different people. Like I told many people before: write, read, show to some people (writing center, adviser in school), then rewrite, reread, do that again, and again. Only then your essay will acquire the needed shape.

Good luck!