I feel like I’ve already failed

[nicolettecastilla]

Hey, I could really use some advice right now. I just started PA school a month and a half ago and I have already failed a class. I got a 64 on the first exam and a 50 on the second. I studied extremely hard for both of these tests. I spent hours and hours at the library (I still do). I have pretty bad ADHD and my medicine hasn’t been working as efficiently, but I don’t want to use that as an excuse for my failure because I honestly just feel like this is all on me and maybe I’m not intelligent enough to be here. I am terrified of failing again and than getting kicked out. If I fail now than I can’t fail again in the future and it’s only gonna get harder (Not that I am wanting to fail but it’s a huge safety net I wouldn’t have anymore.) I am still adjusting, it’s only been 1.5 months and I feel like I’ve already completely blown my chance at success. I’ve tried different ways of studying but I feel like I am having such a hard time fully conceptualizing topics/processes as well as memorizing everything to the extent it needs to be. I do everything. I get to school at 8 in the morning and don’t leave until 12 at night. I feel like such a huge idiot and disappoint. I’m so scared I am going to get kicked out over a rough start. I’d really appreciate any advice:(

[UGoLong]

31 minutes ago, nicolettecastilla said:

 

Hey, I could really use some advice right now. I just started PA school a month and a half ago and I have already failed a class. I got a 64 on the first exam and a 50 on the second. I studied extremely hard for both of these tests. I spent hours and hours at the library (I still do). I have pretty bad ADHD and my medicine hasn’t been working as efficiently, but I don’t want to use that as an excuse for my failure because I honestly just feel like this is all on me and maybe I’m not intelligent enough to be here. I am terrified of failing again and than getting kicked out. If I fail now than I can’t fail again in the future and it’s only gonna get harder (Not that I am wanting to fail but it’s a huge safety net I wouldn’t have anymore.) I am still adjusting, it’s only been 1.5 months and I feel like I’ve already completely blown my chance at success. I’ve tried different ways of studying but I feel like I am having such a hard time fully conceptualizing topics/processes as well as memorizing everything to the extent it needs to be. I do everything. I get to school at 8 in the morning and don’t leave until 12 at night. I feel like such a huge idiot and disappoint. I’m so scared I am going to get kicked out over a rough start. I’d really appreciate any advice:(

Your anxiety comes through big time in your post and is likely a big underlying issue. It's hard to succeed if a big part of your brain is screaming out that you are failing. And you seem to be putting in the study time, maybe even too much time.

You are not an idiot! I would recommend you go to the counseling center (or whatever they call it at your school) and get evaluated. And speak with your advisor. With a note from your ADHD provider, you may be able to get some accommodation as to test duration and testing location.

Best wishes.

[AbeTheBabe]

I feel like I had the most time to study for my first exam (anatomy), and I got like 70. I was pretty upset but honestly it got better from there. I didn't have issues with ADHD or anxiety though you should let your program know and work with your provider.

[pas2945]

Made an account to reply to you, hopefully I can help.

I was in the same boat at the beginning but I pulled it together. Here's what helped me the most. I looked at the "high performers" in my class and I asked myself "What are THEY doing that I'm not?" I made an effort to befriend them and ask for help. It was hard for me to swallow my pride at first but I'm SO glad I did it. I ended up finding my best friend and haven't struggled since.

I know it's still early in your program and everyone's still feeling each other out but people are more helpful and considerate than your mind thinks. I started to emulate whatever the "high performers" were doing. This included studying until midnight (without sacrificing too much sleep of course), making quizlets during class and studying them after, memorizing power points slide by slide, explaining diseases/concepts to somebody to find gaps that they missed, utilizing online practice exams (RoshReview, UWORLD, SmartyPance), and utilizing other online resources when they didn't understand something (Pance Prep Pearls, Osmosis, Ninja Nerd, YouTube videos).

A majority of the time it boils down to study habits. The sheer volume of material is NOTHING like undergrad, PA school is a whole new monster. If you are an idiot or a horrible student you wouldn't be in PA school. I can promise you that. You've obviously been doing something right up until this point in your academic career. In my case, I simply just wasn't studying enough. I studied twice as much and my grades improved tremendously. In terms of your ADHD, talk to your program and/or your school's counseling center ASAP. You may find accommodations to be helpful. Also, talk to your program advisors and professors about your struggles!! Show that you care and are taking an initiative!  Be honest about your struggles and show that you're taking responsibility for your learning. Ask them for advice and what types of students of successful. Professors are more willing to help students that truly care and have a "growth mindset".

I've attached a copy of Pance Prep Pearls v3. If you're unsure what it is, it's essentially "high yield" topics for the PANCE exam. A lot of programs build their didactic curriculum and exams around the "blueprint" PANCE topics so their students are more prepared for the PANCE.

Please message me privately if you need advice on anything.

As long as you take the steps necessary to change your study habits, everything will be alright.   

 

 

864863513_PancePrepPearls.pdf