Third Draft, a complete transformation! What do you think?

[langer11089]

Okay, so I have revised my essay a few times now and as it has progressed, it has changed quite a bit. I've tried to add more personal experience into it so that the readers get a better sense of who I am as a person? I'm interested in your opinions on whether or not I paint a clear enough picture of myself through this essay.

 

I'm also still wondering about the second to last paragraph I have written...to me it seems like it's find of hanging out there, not very attached to the flow of the rest of the essay. However I still think it's important. Any suggestions?

 

It's about 500 characters over the limit, so it still needs to be trimmed a bit.

 

Thanks in advance!

 

 

Unlike some, I cannot say that I have always aspired to be a physician assistant (PA). Throughout my life, I have worked and volunteered in many different fields in a variety of settings, but each experience always revolved around my love for and desires to help others. It is through this career exploration that I have learned what aspects of a career are most important to me. Having learned the history of the PA profession, extensively explored the career, and shadowed various PAs, it is clear to me that this is the career that I want to be a part of for the rest of my life.

 

As a young child, I had my heart set on becoming a veterinarian. As a teenager in high school, my interest in veterinary medicine stood strong so I volunteered at a local animal hospital. There I learned the power of compassion and empathy. Most importantly, though, was that I learned to be patient and to work with others. I continue to rely on these traits today as I train and soon work as a certified nursing assistant (CNA). My desire to be a veterinarian continued into my first year of college when I interned at the Animal Rescue League’s Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic. It was here that I learned basic medical skills such as how to suture wounds, conduct comprehensive physical exams, and splint limbs. I quickly learned the importance of precision, a steady hand, and dependability because I was the sole intern responsible for the well-being of these animals. I was required to think quickly when assessing the injured animals because, for some, each second that passed was a matter of life and death. One thing that was lacking, though, was the patient-health care provider interaction that I very much enjoy.

 

I loved every opportunity that I had to work with animals in a medical setting, but my focus on veterinary medicine shifted while studying abroad in Spain during the spring of my sophomore year. My host father was a urologist, so I shadowed and sometimes even assisted him with patients. One particular case that I was able to assist with had an immense impact on me and my future. An 11 year-old gypsy boy was brought into the hospital by his father because he attempted to circumcise himself in order to appease his 12 year-old gypsy girlfriend. As I conversed with the boy in Spanish, I was able to gain his trust which was imperative for my host father to be able to clean and bandage him. When the bandaging was completed, the gypsy boy refused to let go of my hand. I took comfort in knowing that I was able to positively impact the life of a young child. Working with the gypsy community opened my eyes to extreme amounts of poverty while it brought to light the possibility of a career in health care.

 

A year passed and I found myself at the hospital sitting at my grandmother’s side as she battled the potentially lethal bacteria known as Clostridium difficile. A woman, who I later learned was a PA, caught my attention when she stopped in the room just to say hi to my grandmother. As she stood at the side of the hospital bed holding my grandmother’s hand, she talked to her like a person, not a patient. Her witty, yet respectful personality brought a smile to my grandmother’s face. This woman possessed not only medical knowledge and skills, but also the ability to relate and be sensitive to my grandmother’s illness. These personal qualities exemplify what a PA is. Although my grandmother never recovered, her final days in the hospital were more enjoyable because of the caring, kindhearted nature of the PA. I now take my grandmother’s passing as a sign that led me down a path I may have never been made aware of.

Since that day, I have aspired to be a PA who cares for patients with a loving heart and a smile on her face. As I began shadowing various PAs, commonalities were apparent. They were hard-working and empathetic, but very light-hearted people. In general, PAs are very likeable people. Exposure to such a variety of specialties during my shadow experiences ignited my interest in primary care. However, I love that PAs have a certain amount of mobility to move among different specialties. To me, this is one of the main factors that led me to choose the PA profession over other health care careers.

 

To begin a new path with the ultimate goal of becoming a PA, I became certified as an emergency medical technician (EMT-B). While acquiring the medical skills necessary, I became very comfortable with working alongside fellow health care providers. Learning how to communicate calmly and effectively with patients are skills that will undoubtedly assist me in my future endeavors as a PA. After doing multiple ride-alongs in the ambulance, though, I realized that I desired a more constant flow of patients; consequently, I sought out certification as a nurse’s aide (CNA). My previous education, certifications, and shadow experiences will undoubtedly help me care for patients while training and working as a CNA at Harmar Village Care Center.

 

The research I have done on the PA profession, my shadowing experiences, and the conversations I have had with other PAs assure me that this is the perfect career for me. Through my work and volunteer experiences, I have come to foster traits that characterize a physician assistant. My education at Wheaton College provided me with an excellent foundation in biology, including human anatomy and physiology. Attending PA school will continue to build on this foundation as it prepares me to succeed as a PA and ultimately succeed in life while positively impacting the lives of others.

[langer11089]

Okay, so I have revised my essay a few times now and as it has progressed, it has changed quite a bit. I've tried to add more personal experience into it so that the readers get a better sense of who I am as a person? I'm interested in your opinions on whether or not I paint a clear enough picture of myself through this essay.

 

I'm also still wondering about the second to last paragraph I have written...to me it seems like it's find of hanging out there, not very attached to the flow of the rest of the essay. However I still think it's important. Any suggestions?

 

It's about 500 characters over the limit, so it still needs to be trimmed a bit.

 

Thanks in advance!

 

 

Unlike some, I cannot say that I have always aspired to be a physician assistant (PA). Throughout my life, I have worked and volunteered in many different fields in a variety of settings, but each experience always revolved around my love for and desires to help others. It is through this career exploration that I have learned what aspects of a career are most important to me. Having learned the history of the PA profession, extensively explored the career, and shadowed various PAs, it is clear to me that this is the career that I want to be a part of for the rest of my life.

 

As a young child, I had my heart set on becoming a veterinarian. As a teenager in high school, my interest in veterinary medicine stood strong so I volunteered at a local animal hospital. There I learned the power of compassion and empathy. Most importantly, though, was that I learned to be patient and to work with others. I continue to rely on these traits today as I train and soon work as a certified nursing assistant (CNA). My desire to be a veterinarian continued into my first year of college when I interned at the Animal Rescue League’s Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic. It was here that I learned basic medical skills such as how to suture wounds, conduct comprehensive physical exams, and splint limbs. I quickly learned the importance of precision, a steady hand, and dependability because I was the sole intern responsible for the well-being of these animals. I was required to think quickly when assessing the injured animals because, for some, each second that passed was a matter of life and death. One thing that was lacking, though, was the patient-health care provider interaction that I very much enjoy.

 

I loved every opportunity that I had to work with animals in a medical setting, but my focus on veterinary medicine shifted while studying abroad in Spain during the spring of my sophomore year. My host father was a urologist, so I shadowed and sometimes even assisted him with patients. One particular case that I was able to assist with had an immense impact on me and my future. An 11 year-old gypsy boy was brought into the hospital by his father because he attempted to circumcise himself in order to appease his 12 year-old gypsy girlfriend. As I conversed with the boy in Spanish, I was able to gain his trust which was imperative for my host father to be able to clean and bandage him. When the bandaging was completed, the gypsy boy refused to let go of my hand. I took comfort in knowing that I was able to positively impact the life of a young child. Working with the gypsy community opened my eyes to extreme amounts of poverty while it brought to light the possibility of a career in health care.

 

A year passed and I found myself at the hospital sitting at my grandmother’s side as she battled the potentially lethal bacteria known as Clostridium difficile. A woman, who I later learned was a PA, caught my attention when she stopped in the room just to say hi to my grandmother. As she stood at the side of the hospital bed holding my grandmother’s hand, she talked to her like a person, not a patient. Her witty, yet respectful personality brought a smile to my grandmother’s face. This woman possessed not only medical knowledge and skills, but also the ability to relate and be sensitive to my grandmother’s illness. These personal qualities exemplify what a PA is. Although my grandmother never recovered, her final days in the hospital were more enjoyable because of the caring, kindhearted nature of the PA. I now take my grandmother’s passing as a sign that led me down a path I may have never been made aware of.

Since that day, I have aspired to be a PA who cares for patients with a loving heart and a smile on her face. As I began shadowing various PAs, commonalities were apparent. They were hard-working and empathetic, but very light-hearted people. In general, PAs are very likeable people. Exposure to such a variety of specialties during my shadow experiences ignited my interest in primary care. However, I love that PAs have a certain amount of mobility to move among different specialties. To me, this is one of the main factors that led me to choose the PA profession over other health care careers.

 

To begin a new path with the ultimate goal of becoming a PA, I became certified as an emergency medical technician (EMT-B). While acquiring the medical skills necessary, I became very comfortable with working alongside fellow health care providers. Learning how to communicate calmly and effectively with patients are skills that will undoubtedly assist me in my future endeavors as a PA. After doing multiple ride-alongs in the ambulance, though, I realized that I desired a more constant flow of patients; consequently, I sought out certification as a nurse’s aide (CNA). My previous education, certifications, and shadow experiences will undoubtedly help me care for patients while training and working as a CNA at Harmar Village Care Center.

 

The research I have done on the PA profession, my shadowing experiences, and the conversations I have had with other PAs assure me that this is the perfect career for me. Through my work and volunteer experiences, I have come to foster traits that characterize a physician assistant. My education at Wheaton College provided me with an excellent foundation in biology, including human anatomy and physiology. Attending PA school will continue to build on this foundation as it prepares me to succeed as a PA and ultimately succeed in life while positively impacting the lives of others.

[langer11089]

Okay, so I have revised my essay a few times now and as it has progressed, it has changed quite a bit. I've tried to add more personal experience into it so that the readers get a better sense of who I am as a person? I'm interested in your opinions on whether or not I paint a clear enough picture of myself through this essay.

 

I'm also still wondering about the second to last paragraph I have written...to me it seems like it's find of hanging out there, not very attached to the flow of the rest of the essay. However I still think it's important. Any suggestions?

 

It's about 500 characters over the limit, so it still needs to be trimmed a bit.

 

Thanks in advance!

 

 

Unlike some, I cannot say that I have always aspired to be a physician assistant (PA). Throughout my life, I have worked and volunteered in many different fields in a variety of settings, but each experience always revolved around my love for and desires to help others. It is through this career exploration that I have learned what aspects of a career are most important to me. Having learned the history of the PA profession, extensively explored the career, and shadowed various PAs, it is clear to me that this is the career that I want to be a part of for the rest of my life.

 

As a young child, I had my heart set on becoming a veterinarian. As a teenager in high school, my interest in veterinary medicine stood strong so I volunteered at a local animal hospital. There I learned the power of compassion and empathy. Most importantly, though, was that I learned to be patient and to work with others. I continue to rely on these traits today as I train and soon work as a certified nursing assistant (CNA). My desire to be a veterinarian continued into my first year of college when I interned at the Animal Rescue League’s Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic. It was here that I learned basic medical skills such as how to suture wounds, conduct comprehensive physical exams, and splint limbs. I quickly learned the importance of precision, a steady hand, and dependability because I was the sole intern responsible for the well-being of these animals. I was required to think quickly when assessing the injured animals because, for some, each second that passed was a matter of life and death. One thing that was lacking, though, was the patient-health care provider interaction that I very much enjoy.

 

I loved every opportunity that I had to work with animals in a medical setting, but my focus on veterinary medicine shifted while studying abroad in Spain during the spring of my sophomore year. My host father was a urologist, so I shadowed and sometimes even assisted him with patients. One particular case that I was able to assist with had an immense impact on me and my future. An 11 year-old gypsy boy was brought into the hospital by his father because he attempted to circumcise himself in order to appease his 12 year-old gypsy girlfriend. As I conversed with the boy in Spanish, I was able to gain his trust which was imperative for my host father to be able to clean and bandage him. When the bandaging was completed, the gypsy boy refused to let go of my hand. I took comfort in knowing that I was able to positively impact the life of a young child. Working with the gypsy community opened my eyes to extreme amounts of poverty while it brought to light the possibility of a career in health care.

 

A year passed and I found myself at the hospital sitting at my grandmother’s side as she battled the potentially lethal bacteria known as Clostridium difficile. A woman, who I later learned was a PA, caught my attention when she stopped in the room just to say hi to my grandmother. As she stood at the side of the hospital bed holding my grandmother’s hand, she talked to her like a person, not a patient. Her witty, yet respectful personality brought a smile to my grandmother’s face. This woman possessed not only medical knowledge and skills, but also the ability to relate and be sensitive to my grandmother’s illness. These personal qualities exemplify what a PA is. Although my grandmother never recovered, her final days in the hospital were more enjoyable because of the caring, kindhearted nature of the PA. I now take my grandmother’s passing as a sign that led me down a path I may have never been made aware of.

Since that day, I have aspired to be a PA who cares for patients with a loving heart and a smile on her face. As I began shadowing various PAs, commonalities were apparent. They were hard-working and empathetic, but very light-hearted people. In general, PAs are very likeable people. Exposure to such a variety of specialties during my shadow experiences ignited my interest in primary care. However, I love that PAs have a certain amount of mobility to move among different specialties. To me, this is one of the main factors that led me to choose the PA profession over other health care careers.

 

To begin a new path with the ultimate goal of becoming a PA, I became certified as an emergency medical technician (EMT-B). While acquiring the medical skills necessary, I became very comfortable with working alongside fellow health care providers. Learning how to communicate calmly and effectively with patients are skills that will undoubtedly assist me in my future endeavors as a PA. After doing multiple ride-alongs in the ambulance, though, I realized that I desired a more constant flow of patients; consequently, I sought out certification as a nurse’s aide (CNA). My previous education, certifications, and shadow experiences will undoubtedly help me care for patients while training and working as a CNA at Harmar Village Care Center.

 

The research I have done on the PA profession, my shadowing experiences, and the conversations I have had with other PAs assure me that this is the perfect career for me. Through my work and volunteer experiences, I have come to foster traits that characterize a physician assistant. My education at Wheaton College provided me with an excellent foundation in biology, including human anatomy and physiology. Attending PA school will continue to build on this foundation as it prepares me to succeed as a PA and ultimately succeed in life while positively impacting the lives of others.

[langer11089]

Would really love if anyone had any advice/thoughts on this! I'm trying to submit it soon, but want to make sure it is exactly as I want it before I submit it!

[langer11089]

Would really love if anyone had any advice/thoughts on this! I'm trying to submit it soon, but want to make sure it is exactly as I want it before I submit it!

[RHC81]

Okay, I'll try. But, first, my disclaimer: I am not a PA or PA student (yet), but I have spent 10+ years as a journalist in newspapers, magazines, and online. So, take my advice for what it's worth, but I yield to PAs and PA students. :smile:

 

I liked how your essay was full of personal detail but not flowery. You did use your personal experiences to highlight your path. However, it's still too long, as you said.

 

First of all - regarding the gypsy boy. There is some debate as to whether Gypsy (capitalized if referring to the traditionally nomadic Caucasian ethnic group) is an appropriate term; many members of that ethnic community find it offensive. Perhaps consider the term "Roma" or "Romani," as it is what many of that ethnicity use to self-identify. Roma or Romani is also used by the UN, the U.S. Library of Congress, and the Council of Europe.

 

Okay, my notes in blue, deletions suggested in red. :smile:

 

Unlike some, I cannot say that I have always aspired to be a physician assistant (PA) just use this on second reference, as the reader is presumably very aware of the abbreviation. Throughout my life, I have worked and volunteered in many different fields in a variety of settings, but each experience always revolved around my love for and desires to help others. It is through this career exploration that I have learned what aspects of a career are most important to me. We presume this from the next sentence. Having learned the history of the PA profession, extensively explored the career, and shadowed various PAs, it is clear to me that this is the career that I want to be a part of for the rest of my life.

As a young child, I had my heart set on becoming a veterinarian. As a teenager in high school, my interest in veterinary medicine stood strong so I volunteered at a local animal hospital. There I learned the power of compassion and empathy. Most importantly, though, was that I learned to be patient and to work with others. I continue to rely on these traits today as I train and soon work as a certified nursing assistant (CNA). This seems awkwardly stuck in here, and you mention it further down. My desire to be a veterinarian continued into my first year of college when I interned at the Animal Rescue League’s Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic. It was here that I learned basic medical skills such as how to suture wounds, conduct comprehensive physical exams, and splint limbs. I quickly learned the importance of precision, a steady hand, and dependability because I was the sole intern responsible for the well-being of these animals. I was required to think quickly when assessing the injured animals because, for some, each second that passed was a matter of life and death. One thing that was lacking , though, was the patient-health care provider interaction that I very much enjoy. This is nice, and your experience is good, but space is a premium. Let's focus on your human-patient medical work.

 

Merge this with the above paragraph. I loved every opportunity that I had to work with animals in a medical setting, but my focus on veterinary medicine shifted while studying abroad in Spain during the spring of my sophomore year. My host father was a urologist, so I shadowed and sometimes even assisted him with patients. One particular case that I was able to assist with had an immense impact on me and my future. Too wordy. "I assisted with...an 11-year-old gypsy Romani boy who was brought into the hospital by his father because he attempted to circumcise himself in order to appease his 12-year-old gypsy Romani girlfriend. As I conversed with the boy in Spanish, I was able to gain gained his trust which was imperative for my host father to be able to clean and bandage him. When the bandaging was completed, the gypsy boy refused to let go of my hand. I took comfort in knowing that I was able to positively impact the life of a young child. Working with the gypsy Romani community opened my eyes to extreme amounts of poverty while it brought to light the possibility of a career in health care.

 

A year passed and I found myself at the hospital wordy "A year later, I was sitting at my grandmother’s side as she battled the potentially lethal bacteria, known as Clostridium difficile. A woman, who I later learned was a PA, caught my attention when she stopped in the room just to say hi to my grandmother. As she wordy stood at the side of the hospital bed holding my grandmother’s hand, she and talked to her like a person, not a patient. Her witty, yet respectful, personality brought a smile to my grandmother’s face. This woman possessed not only medical knowledge and skills, but also the ability to relate and be sensitive to my grandmother’s illness. These personal qualities exemplify what a PA is. Although my grandmother never recovered, her final days in the hospital were more enjoyable because of the caring, kindhearted nature of the PA. I now take my grandmother’s passing as a sign that led me down a path I may have never been made aware of. Not to be blunt, but was this your grandmother's only interaction with that PA? This seems like a lot to get from one interaction.

Since that day, I have aspired to be a PA who cares for patients with a loving heart and a smile on her face. New paragraph here. As I began shadowing various PAs, commonalities were apparent. They were hard-working and empathetic, but very light-hearted people. In general, PAs are very likeable people. I'd avoid generalizations like this. Surely there are some cranky, surly PAs, just as in every other profession. Generalizations like this make the reader think you must not have had much exposure to a variety of PAs. Exposure to such a variety of specialties during my shadow experiences ignited my interest in primary care. However, I love that PAs have a certain amount of mobility to move among different specialties. To me, this is one of the main factors that led me to choose the PA profession over other health care careers.

 

To begin a new path with the ultimate goal wordy of becoming a PA, I became certified as an emergency medical technician (EMT-B). While acquiring the medical skills necessary, I became very comfortable with working alongside fellow health care providers. Is an EMT-B a health care "provider"? Perhaps "professional"? In the military world, medics are EMTs, but they are not referred to as providers. As a CNA, I wouldn't say I was a provider. I defer to others on this, but I generally think of providers as someone in charge of providing the care - PAs, NPs, MDs. Terminology matters, especially in medicine, so be sure of this before you use it. Learning how to communicate calmly and effectively with patients are skills that will undoubtedly assist me in my future endeavors wordy as a PA. After doing multiple ride-alongs in the ambulance, though, I realized that I desired a more constant flow of patients; consequently, I sought out certification as a nurse’s aide certified nursing assistant? (CNA). My previous education, certifications, and shadow experiences will undoubtedly help me care for patients while training and working as a CNA at Harmar Village Care Center. Is this a long-term care facility? Perhaps a quick note about this (i.e., ", a long-term care facility" or ", a hospital") for those of us not familiar with the name.

 

The research I have done on the PA profession, my shadowing experiences, and the conversations I have had with other PAs assure me that this is the perfect career for me. Through my work and volunteer experiences, I have come to foster traits that characterize a physician assistant. I like confidence, but this seems a little overconfident. Perhaps re-word? My education at Wheaton College provided me with an excellent foundation in biology, including human anatomy and physiology. Attending PA school will continue to build on this foundation as it prepares me to succeed as a PA and ultimately succeed in life wordy while positively impacting the lives of others.

[RHC81]

Okay, I'll try. But, first, my disclaimer: I am not a PA or PA student (yet), but I have spent 10+ years as a journalist in newspapers, magazines, and online. So, take my advice for what it's worth, but I yield to PAs and PA students. :smile:

 

I liked how your essay was full of personal detail but not flowery. You did use your personal experiences to highlight your path. However, it's still too long, as you said.

 

First of all - regarding the gypsy boy. There is some debate as to whether Gypsy (capitalized if referring to the traditionally nomadic Caucasian ethnic group) is an appropriate term; many members of that ethnic community find it offensive. Perhaps consider the term "Roma" or "Romani," as it is what many of that ethnicity use to self-identify. Roma or Romani is also used by the UN, the U.S. Library of Congress, and the Council of Europe.

 

Okay, my notes in blue, deletions suggested in red. :smile:

 

Unlike some, I cannot say that I have always aspired to be a physician assistant (PA) just use this on second reference, as the reader is presumably very aware of the abbreviation. Throughout my life, I have worked and volunteered in many different fields in a variety of settings, but each experience always revolved around my love for and desires to help others. It is through this career exploration that I have learned what aspects of a career are most important to me. We presume this from the next sentence. Having learned the history of the PA profession, extensively explored the career, and shadowed various PAs, it is clear to me that this is the career that I want to be a part of for the rest of my life.

As a young child, I had my heart set on becoming a veterinarian. As a teenager in high school, my interest in veterinary medicine stood strong so I volunteered at a local animal hospital. There I learned the power of compassion and empathy. Most importantly, though, was that I learned to be patient and to work with others. I continue to rely on these traits today as I train and soon work as a certified nursing assistant (CNA). This seems awkwardly stuck in here, and you mention it further down. My desire to be a veterinarian continued into my first year of college when I interned at the Animal Rescue League’s Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic. It was here that I learned basic medical skills such as how to suture wounds, conduct comprehensive physical exams, and splint limbs. I quickly learned the importance of precision, a steady hand, and dependability because I was the sole intern responsible for the well-being of these animals. I was required to think quickly when assessing the injured animals because, for some, each second that passed was a matter of life and death. One thing that was lacking , though, was the patient-health care provider interaction that I very much enjoy. This is nice, and your experience is good, but space is a premium. Let's focus on your human-patient medical work.

 

Merge this with the above paragraph. I loved every opportunity that I had to work with animals in a medical setting, but my focus on veterinary medicine shifted while studying abroad in Spain during the spring of my sophomore year. My host father was a urologist, so I shadowed and sometimes even assisted him with patients. One particular case that I was able to assist with had an immense impact on me and my future. Too wordy. "I assisted with...an 11-year-old gypsy Romani boy who was brought into the hospital by his father because he attempted to circumcise himself in order to appease his 12-year-old gypsy Romani girlfriend. As I conversed with the boy in Spanish, I was able to gain gained his trust which was imperative for my host father to be able to clean and bandage him. When the bandaging was completed, the gypsy boy refused to let go of my hand. I took comfort in knowing that I was able to positively impact the life of a young child. Working with the gypsy Romani community opened my eyes to extreme amounts of poverty while it brought to light the possibility of a career in health care.

 

A year passed and I found myself at the hospital wordy "A year later, I was sitting at my grandmother’s side as she battled the potentially lethal bacteria, known as Clostridium difficile. A woman, who I later learned was a PA, caught my attention when she stopped in the room just to say hi to my grandmother. As she wordy stood at the side of the hospital bed holding my grandmother’s hand, she and talked to her like a person, not a patient. Her witty, yet respectful, personality brought a smile to my grandmother’s face. This woman possessed not only medical knowledge and skills, but also the ability to relate and be sensitive to my grandmother’s illness. These personal qualities exemplify what a PA is. Although my grandmother never recovered, her final days in the hospital were more enjoyable because of the caring, kindhearted nature of the PA. I now take my grandmother’s passing as a sign that led me down a path I may have never been made aware of. Not to be blunt, but was this your grandmother's only interaction with that PA? This seems like a lot to get from one interaction.

Since that day, I have aspired to be a PA who cares for patients with a loving heart and a smile on her face. New paragraph here. As I began shadowing various PAs, commonalities were apparent. They were hard-working and empathetic, but very light-hearted people. In general, PAs are very likeable people. I'd avoid generalizations like this. Surely there are some cranky, surly PAs, just as in every other profession. Generalizations like this make the reader think you must not have had much exposure to a variety of PAs. Exposure to such a variety of specialties during my shadow experiences ignited my interest in primary care. However, I love that PAs have a certain amount of mobility to move among different specialties. To me, this is one of the main factors that led me to choose the PA profession over other health care careers.

 

To begin a new path with the ultimate goal wordy of becoming a PA, I became certified as an emergency medical technician (EMT-B). While acquiring the medical skills necessary, I became very comfortable with working alongside fellow health care providers. Is an EMT-B a health care "provider"? Perhaps "professional"? In the military world, medics are EMTs, but they are not referred to as providers. As a CNA, I wouldn't say I was a provider. I defer to others on this, but I generally think of providers as someone in charge of providing the care - PAs, NPs, MDs. Terminology matters, especially in medicine, so be sure of this before you use it. Learning how to communicate calmly and effectively with patients are skills that will undoubtedly assist me in my future endeavors wordy as a PA. After doing multiple ride-alongs in the ambulance, though, I realized that I desired a more constant flow of patients; consequently, I sought out certification as a nurse’s aide certified nursing assistant? (CNA). My previous education, certifications, and shadow experiences will undoubtedly help me care for patients while training and working as a CNA at Harmar Village Care Center. Is this a long-term care facility? Perhaps a quick note about this (i.e., ", a long-term care facility" or ", a hospital") for those of us not familiar with the name.

 

The research I have done on the PA profession, my shadowing experiences, and the conversations I have had with other PAs assure me that this is the perfect career for me. Through my work and volunteer experiences, I have come to foster traits that characterize a physician assistant. I like confidence, but this seems a little overconfident. Perhaps re-word? My education at Wheaton College provided me with an excellent foundation in biology, including human anatomy and physiology. Attending PA school will continue to build on this foundation as it prepares me to succeed as a PA and ultimately succeed in life wordy while positively impacting the lives of others.

[langer11089]

Thanks for the comments and changes that you've suggested! They will definitely help to narrow down my essay and make it more straight forward. Is anyone able to comment or give their thoughts on the content?

 

Thanks to everyone who has helped me thus far!

[langer11089]

Thanks for the comments and changes that you've suggested! They will definitely help to narrow down my essay and make it more straight forward. Is anyone able to comment or give their thoughts on the content?

 

Thanks to everyone who has helped me thus far!

[PAtricia12]

Great essay! BUT i could not read all of it...it was too long like you stated. I will suggest you only include the most important things, the rest could be said during your interview :) *be positive*

 

Good luck!

[PAtricia12]

Great essay! BUT i could not read all of it...it was too long like you stated. I will suggest you only include the most important things, the rest could be said during your interview :) *be positive*

 

Good luck!

[langer11089]

Thanks, Patricia. I was able to narrow it down and weed out some of the unnecessary sentences. It's now down to 4500 characters (including spaces). Still looking to revise a bit more.

[langer11089]

Thanks, Patricia. I was able to narrow it down and weed out some of the unnecessary sentences. It's now down to 4500 characters (including spaces). Still looking to revise a bit more.

[PAtricia12]

Great!, what schools are you looking to apply to?

[PAtricia12]

Great!, what schools are you looking to apply to?

[langer11089]

I'm from Pittsburgh, so I'm looking to stay within a few hours from home probably. I went to school outside of Boston, though, so I love that area also. Are you in the process of applying as well or are you already in a program?

[langer11089]

I'm from Pittsburgh, so I'm looking to stay within a few hours from home probably. I went to school outside of Boston, though, so I love that area also. Are you in the process of applying as well or are you already in a program?