Thoughts, Comments and Critique for PA Narrative Essay

[xborndaballx]

Please Describe your motivation to becoming a PA.

 

Thank you in advance for taking your time to read through my essay!

 

Growing up I didn’t always know exactly what I wanted to do with my life. But from a young age I was always in a hospital setting due to the illness of my cousin who had been diagnosed with bone marrow cancer at the age of 3. From being in and out of the hospital with him and having my family talk it about it constantly sparked a level of interested for me about the health field. I would watch as they would perform some procedures and constantly ask questions out of personal curiosity and interest as to what exactly was going on and how would it work or help him feel better. As I was getting older I became even more fascinated, I would look up all of the things that the physician and PA were talking about and serve as a translator and also help interpret lab tests for my cousin and family. Most of the time the PA was the one who came in to speak to us and was able to answer all of our questions and explain to us exactly what was going with my cousins prescriptions, procedures and prognosis in detail. Since this experience I knew that I wanted to focus on becoming a PA because of the level of knowledge, expertise and skills that they held. From what I saw first hand is that they are somewhat of a mixture between a registered nurse, whose primary role is direct patient care but aren’t allowed to partake in the diagnosis and treatment aspect as the physicians are. I liked how the PA would be able to do what the physician could do such as order labs, diagnose the patient and administer physical exams but also were the ones who were there to comfort the patients and had a more direct relationship with the patient unlike physicians. Their independent role in health care bundled with the hands on approaches as similar to a nurse was exactly what I feel I am a better fit for. As I entered college, I soon started to volunteer at Florida Hospital in Orlando, FL. Initially I wanted to shadow a PA but there was no such position available so therefore I was placed in a the case management department for a couple of months. I would be told to go to the floors and pick up patients charts to make copies. I didn’t particularly like this department because I wasn’t in direct contact with helping patients but it helped push me towards the PA career even farther. One thing I did learn through it was to read the patients charts, which I would always do and paint a mental picture as to what exactly was going on with them through the physicians progress notes. I was then transferred over to the outpatient pharmacy department where I yet again deprived of the physical contact that I was looking for with the patients. They had a program where they would go up to the floors and ask the patients for any prescriptions that needed to be filled. I would be the first to volunteer myself to get a chance to go up and interact with the patients. This experience was what reassured me that I wanted to be a PA because of how excited I would get to go up to the floors instead of sitting around in the pharmacy. Although the pharmacy wasn’t something that interested me at all, I did learn quite a bit as to what certain medications were used for and what their reactions would be if given to a patient with certain allergies or illnesses. Soon after I started to shadowing a wound care nurse in the hospital who I have learn quite a bit from. This type of experience has been the best to date for me, its not exactly the PA experience that I have been waiting for, but its something to where I am directly able to aid the nurse. Just from being in the hospital setting I have learned a good amount about how much of the population if at a disadvantage due to language barriers, health education and lack of access to health services. Senior citizens are especially those that are prone to infections and diseases due to their weakened immune systems. From this experience I’ve come to learn that many older patients develop pressure ulcers due to neglect in nursing homes where they are being turned every couple of hours are they should be. I have aided in the debriding, and measuring of the wounds. There have been many times where the nurse would be changing the dressing and cleaning the wound where I would be holding the patients hand and having a conversation with them to let them know that I cared for them as well as distracting them from the pain that they may be experiencing. Through all of this I realized that I love interacting with patients and their families and enjoy being a apart of their lives through difficult times. I feel this is what will ultimately make me a strong candidate to become a PA, I believe that not only do I possess the skills that I have obtained from the lecture halls in school but I also have the hands on experience that will help me reach my goal which is am so excited about. Dreams of one day becoming the exceptional physician assistant that I work so diligently towards are what motivate me each and everyday.

[greenmood]

I agree with PAMAC about the weakness here, but if you're set on applying this cycle there are some things you might consider changing about this PS to make the best of the situation.

 

From what I saw first hand is that they are somewhat of a mixture between a registered nurse, whose primary role is direct patient care but aren’t allowed to partake in the diagnosis and treatment aspect as the physicians are.

Two things. First is a grammar problem. This sentence doesn't make sense. Read it out loud to yourself. Actually, read the entire essay aloud into a recorder and play it back, making notes when you hear something funky. There were a lot of "cringe" moments for me when I read this. Second issue with this sentence is that it reveals a rather unsophisticated understanding of the profession. The line following it, about the PA having diagnostic responsibility and more time with the patient, is much better until you imply that doctors don't have a "direct relationship" with their patients (which is patently false). Overall, the rule of thumb is to stay completely away from criticizing another field. Find a way to say what you want to say in a totally positive way, without minimizing the role of other members of the healthcare team.

 

Initially I wanted to shadow a PA but there was no such position available [....] its not exactly the PA experience that I have been waiting for, but its something to where I am directly able to aid the nurse.

That entire paragraph is just you making excuses for not having real experience. You're drawing attention to your weakness! AHHH! And it's super negative! You call working in a pharmacy "sitting around" and actually say you didn't like doing case management. But those are your only experiences in healthcare! You should be making them sound AMAZING and waxing poetic about all that you learned. You've got to go back through this and delete all this negative comments. Talk more about how much you learned about disadvantaged populations, polypharmacy in the elderly, etc, and then bring it back to what you will bring to the PA field. It's not all about how great a fit you are for PA, but about what you're going to give back.

 

At the end, you make a claim of hands-on experience that is untrue, and leave the reader with a lasting impression that you think you're going to be awesome because you've been dreaming about it for so long. Take that junk out and focus on how much you've learned from your very real observation. You spoke about holding hands with patients - I assume you listened to them talk. What did they tell you? What did you take away from your experiences in school and life that you think will make you a provider? It's not enough to just say you'll be awesome, give us a little evidence.