josephty.carter Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 It is 4890 characters. I started with motivation toward medicine then some Hx (due to academic probation) then my motivation toward PA. Do I need to take parts out and provide more examples of patient situations or shadowing experiences that motivated me? Much Thanks . I really appreciate the time. Deep coughs arose from my mother as she walked into the house. She held a prescription for her persistent illness and her raspy voice directed me to our home medical guide. We looked up the medications and correlated them with the pharmaceutical labels. She had me research bronchitis to see other home remedies and ways to promote faster healing. These situations occurred a few times throughout my high school years and each experience kindled my curiosity toward medicine. My health care interest led me to work at a fitness center my senior year. It brought me joy to help people meet their goals and keep them motivated toward a healthier lifestyle. Also, I was introduction to anatomy and physiology which further directed my path to medicine. Later, I attended college with nonspecific interests in a medical career. In my immaturity I did not shadow or research careers which I was best suited. I applied to a nursing program, the only undergraduate medical program offered, and was accepted. A short time later, my grandfather became ill and died. I could not cope with the situation. I lost sight of my valued attribute of hard work, became rebellious and lazy and my grades suffered. I was placed on academic probation. During the following semester, I withdrew from the nursing program and realized a need to reevaluate my choices and future goals. At this point I had time to reflect on my situation, actions and the consequences. Through this time of contemplation, I found I still wanted a career in medicine. After researching and talking to advisors and medical personnel, radiology was my next step. Throughout the radiology technologist program I was introduced to a number of physician assistants and physicians. Fascinated by their comprehensive practice and grasp of medical knowledge, I stood influenced toward a higher level of medical education. After completion of the associate facet of the radiology program I gained room in my schedule to take advanced science courses and shadow. I theorized completion of the courses alongside full time employment, clinical components and volunteer work would give me confidence in my ability to excel in an advanced, rigorous program. Throughout the year, in conjunction with a full schedule, I completed my baccalaureate with emphasis in computed tomography which required clinical time and a number of completed procedures. I also worked full time as a radiology technologist and shadowed physicians, nurse practitioners and physician assistants. I participated in volunteer activities and was elected for a two year term on the Arkansas Society of Radiology Technologists Board of Directors. I maintained above a 3.9 grade point average and received awards for outstanding clinical and academic work. After the yearlong process, I wanted to become a physician assistant. I learned, through my shadowing and employment, the role of physician assistant parallels with my interests in medical practice. Stricken with economic hardships and over-booked medical staff, many of our patients cannot receive the care they require. A family with a young child came into our emergency room. Even though the child had no serious ailment, the parents were still concerned. The reason for their visit was they could not be seen by their pediatrician for two weeks. These situations drive me to pursue a PA career and help meet the needs of underserved areas such as the one in which I work. The curriculum will allow me to complete my training in two years and become a valuable asset to the medical community, as I have seen shadowing. I enjoy my career as a radiology technologist but my motivation to provide holistically for patients and utilization of the broad spectrum of medicine are insurmountable. Having the skills and knowledge to fully explain a procedure and medication to a patient, easing their stress, is a great tool. I appreciate physician assistants are allowed a certain degree of autonomy and, if needed, have the assistance of a physician. Another deciding factor came from interviewing and shadowing physician assistants in multiple specialties and years of practice. Of the many questions one was more important to me, “Did they feel their ability to provide appropriate care lacked in any area because of their position or education?” All felt more than equipped to provide excellent health care to every patient they treated. In the future I hope to continue providing for an underserved area as a physician assistant and serving on my state chapter’s board of directors. I would like to pursue family practice but I am intrigued by a couple other specialties and subspecialties. Providing information for medical professionals on the Arkansas Radiology Board and participating in health fairs motivate me to help future PAs and the profession. Later, I aspire to teach, sharing my knowledge and experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
josephty.carter Posted March 2, 2012 Author Share Posted March 2, 2012 Is anybody out there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bgdog Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Josephity So far I like it but it's hard to read when there are no paragraphs or breaks in the writing. Like a big ol black word salad. I like how you completely owned that you were rebellious and lazy. When that happened, how old were you? If you were 19 or 20 and you're 27/28 now , then put that in there, because its easy for other people to see the reason why, "oh, he was only 19". "A family with a young child came into our emergency room. Even though the child had no serious ailment, the parents were still concerned. The reason for their visit was they could not be seen by their pediatrician for two weeks. " This is a very common to use the ER for a substitute for primary care, if you expound on this and perhaps give better examples it will make this more vivid. Also explain the kind of pt's you see in detail instead of "under-served" ie. "I want to continue to provide care to the migrant farm workers here in my rural community" All in all, pretty good Hope this helps, good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corpsman2PA Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Okay...where to begin. Take this advice with a grain of NaCl... I would take out all the stuff prior to when you talk about becoming a Rad Tech. It felt like I was trying to start a lawn mower, pulling the string...pulling the string....almost there...and then BOOM it takes off, but still needs a tune up. You can still incorporate some components of the Pre-Rad tech stuff later in the PS, just do it more succinctly, as in a sentence or two. The ER stuff is good, but the story about the people coming in was kind of eh...boring. Instead of highlighting just one story, you could group them all together and show how the pattern of ERs being used as PCPs for the underserved in your area is frustrating/inspiring to you as a Rad tech, etc. Also, towards the end I wouldn't talk about what you want to do AFTER becoming a PA. You're still trying to get into PA school remember? Why do they care that you want to serve on the board of directors and teach later in your career? Also, do you really expect them to buy into "Wanting to provide for the underserved drives you to be a PA" yet then explain how you'd be up for specializing/Subspecializing? It contradicts your ER family story. There's also a few word omissions that don't show up on your spell check. Ex, "I appreciate physician assistants are allowed to..." <---whats missing? I would probably urge you do a complete re-write, putting into place a balanced outline of what you want to accomplish with your PS PRIOR TO actually writing any of it down. It will give your PS more structure and better flow. Example (and this is purely an example): 1. Becoming a Rad tech a. point 1 b. point 2 2. Decision leading to PA a. example 1 b. reason 2, etc c. personal experiences, hardships. 3. Why PA for me a. point 1 b. reason 2. c. etc All of these are just opinions and take them as such. Good luck with the process. Its a fun one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bgdog Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 is anybody out there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mktalon Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 how many moles are in one grain of NaCl? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bgdog Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 I had moles in my salt once, killed em though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corpsman2PA Posted March 8, 2012 Share Posted March 8, 2012 how many moles are in one grain of NaCl? Considering Avogadro's number used to make me want guacamole, and I don't know how much a grain of salt weighs, I'll pass on this answer :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
josephty.carter Posted March 9, 2012 Author Share Posted March 9, 2012 Sorry for the absence. I was trying to figure out mktalon question for the past 4 days. ;) But seriously- 1 mol NaCl is about 58.5 grams and 1 gram is 15.43 grains so .... 1 mol is 902 grains of NaCl or 902 grains is 0.001 mol? I didn't even know one could compare grains and grams without considering density. Oh well, my answer is probably wrong. Honestly the comments really did help. bgdog- I was almost 21 at the time and it was about 5 years ago. There isn't anything on my transcripts about it and I am still in good standing. However, I wanted to explain how my GPA went from a 3.6 to a 3.1 in one semester followed by a semester of W's. I'll get on the details. It's hard to get everything in 5000 Char. So much to tell. And lastly I could not get the darn paragraphs to separate when I posted it. I assure you there are 5 separate ones. Thanks a bunch. Corpsman2PA- Very detailed and you gave me so much to work with. It was very helpful. Thank you. Is it bad I spent about 6 weeks on this already, revised it many times and now have to completely reformat? I hope it's common. I am grateful for this forum. Since your comments were a little NaCl-ly, should I take them with a grain of empirical formula C1H2O1 or even a little K+ ( don't want to mess up the Electrolytes ya know)? Thanks again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
josephty.carter Posted March 9, 2012 Author Share Posted March 9, 2012 Sorry for the absence. I was trying to figure out mktalon question for the past 4 days. ;) But seriously- 1 mol NaCl is about 58.5 grams and 1 gram is 15.43 grains so .... 1 mol is 902 grains of NaCl or 902 grains is 0.001 mol? I didn't even know one could compare grains and grams without considering density. Oh well, my answer is probably wrong. Honestly the comments really did help. bgdog- I was almost 21 at the time and it was about 5 years ago. There isn't anything on my transcripts about it and I am still in good standing. However, I wanted to explain how my GPA went from a 3.6 to a 3.1 in one semester followed by a semester of W's. I'll get on the details. It's hard to get everything in 5000 Char. So much to tell. And lastly I could not get the darn paragraphs to separate when I posted it. I assure you there are 5 separate ones. Thanks a bunch. Corpsman2PA- Very detailed and you gave me so much to work with. It was very helpful. Thank you. Is it bad I spent about 6 weeks on this already, revised it many times and now have to completely reformat? I hope it's common. I am grateful for this forum. Since your comments were a little NaCl-ly, should I take them with a grain of empirical formula C1H2O1 or even a little K+ ( don't want to mess up the Electrolytes ya know)? Thanks again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corpsman2PA Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Is it bad I spent about 6 weeks on this already, revised it many times and now have to completely reformat? I hope it's common. It will be that much better...Michelangelo didn't paint the sistine chapel over night right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corpsman2PA Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Is it bad I spent about 6 weeks on this already, revised it many times and now have to completely reformat? I hope it's common. It will be that much better...Michelangelo didn't paint the sistine chapel over night right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsRonSwanson Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I'd re-format the whole thing. Get rid of the stuff about the nursing program. They make think, "why not go back to nursing if that's what you started in?". Start out highlighting your experience and why you want to be a PA (very important for you since you started a nursing program). Briefly discuss your poor grades, what happened, and what you did to change it. Start off with all the good stuff, briefly mention some bad stuff, and finish up with some good stuff you want to do as a PA. You mention underserved populations. Expand on this. Check the grammar. It needs work, but you can shape it into a nice PS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsRonSwanson Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I'd re-format the whole thing. Get rid of the stuff about the nursing program. They make think, "why not go back to nursing if that's what you started in?". Start out highlighting your experience and why you want to be a PA (very important for you since you started a nursing program). Briefly discuss your poor grades, what happened, and what you did to change it. Start off with all the good stuff, briefly mention some bad stuff, and finish up with some good stuff you want to do as a PA. You mention underserved populations. Expand on this. Check the grammar. It needs work, but you can shape it into a nice PS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayinpino Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 Hi, i didn't read the whole thing but as I could see you have good ideas; however, you need to specify in the first paragraph your blue prints which will be in your thesis statement. for example: you put your hook like you did and then you may say two or three reasons that have drown you into the health care career of your choice. i which you understand what i am saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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