kevin.morrison Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Again, never been a great writer so no need to hold back on the criticism. Thanks everyone. -------- I will never forget the moment I realized that nothing was more important in my career than becoming a physician assistant. I was sitting in a hospital room, next my grandfather, listening to heartbreaking news being delivered with the softest of words. My grandfather, who I had taken care of over the past year and grown to love more and more with every day and every challenge, was not going to be able to recognize me when he sees me or decipher my words when I speak to him. The only comfort in that moment I shared with my broken mother and my ill grandfather was the reassurance and hope that my grandfather’s PA was able to bring my family. In those two months that I had lost my fiancé’s grandfather and my own, I had met over a dozen doctors and heard terrible news over and over; however what I remember from this time is how this PA showed that she not only cared for my grandfather’s condition but truly cared for him as a human being and my entire family. This was August of 2010. For almost all of my childhood and into my early college career, the only thing that mattered to me was athletics. Being the youngest in a family of nine, I quickly formed an extremely competitive nature, which was translated to athletics. Throughout grade school and into high school, I was the captain of every team I played on, from soccer to basketball to baseball. Despite my father being a doctor and my oldest sister following in his footsteps, I was encouraged to pursue my passion for sports and was never pushed toward a career in medicine. Little did I know, and without my father’s help, medicine would become a part of me even before I graduated high school. During March of my senior year, I was working in the Dominican Republic, rebuilding a church and working in a local middle school. I spent one night during my trip with a pitcher (Victor) from the local baseball team who introduced me to his lifestyle and forever opened my eyes to what truly needing something meant. Victor’s neighborhood was ravished with malnourished kids no older than 3 to 4 years old and adults with relatively common conditions that had become completely debilitating due to a lack of medical care in his area. This night in a small village in the Dominican Republic revealed to me that there was more to this world than sports. I had been blessed with gifts and abilities that should be focused on the something more, rather than on myself. At this point in my life, I knew I wanted to pursue a career in health care, but was not entirely sure where that would lead me. I continued to play two years of baseball at the collegiate level, winning a Pennsylvania state championship my freshmen year, before deciding to pursue a degree in Athletic Training from Temple University. It was here at Temple University where I truly fell in love with the medical field. In my first year in the program, I was introduced to evidence based medicine and have grown to understand and admire the importance of this approach to medicine. This encouraged me to submit a grant application to carry out my own research at Temple. Furthermore, my clinical work with the Temple football team has pushed my boundaries as a professional and has given me the opportunity to hone my skills. Additionally, my approach to the athletes has lead me to remember the value of not just treating a patient’s chief complaint but treating the whole athlete, truly making them important as a person. I have grown in professionalism, maturity and knowledge during my time at Temple, but I feel I am limiting my potential in the medical field. I realized that I pursued athletic training for my own enjoyment but my heart is no longer for myself, it is for those who need, not just medicine, but a health care provider that truly cares for them. I spent some time trying find exactly I wanted to do in the medical field. This included observing practices with physical therapists, occupational therapists, doctors and then finally a physician assistant. During my time shadowing and talking with this physician assistant in the emergency room, I realized that she had the perfect job; she was able to practice medicine without many of the added distraction and was able to build a stronger relationship with her patients. After this experience, I spent much of my time researching the career of a physician assistant to make sure it sincerely matched who I was. It did not take me long to realize that my journey that began with my trip to the Dominican Republic, continued on to my time playing baseball and up until my experience at Temple, all led to the calling to be a physician assistant. It wasn’t much longer after I made this initial realization that I found myself in the hospital with my grandfather on a weekly basis. It was then, in August of 2010, in a room at Abington Memorial Hospital with my mother, my ill grandfather and this physician assistant that I decided nothing was more important in my career than being a physician assistant. Since that time I have dedicated a majority of my free time from school to better myself and bring me closer to becoming a physician assistant. Whether that has been working my school schedule to insure I have the classes I need or taking an accelerated EMT class over the summer to gain more experience, I have had my full heart and devotion to this calling. I know now, not only what I want to be, but also who I want to be. I am fully dedicated to becoming the preeminent physician assistant I can be, not only for me but for my future patients who deserve a medical professional who cares about them and their health as much as they do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin.morrison Posted October 16, 2011 Author Share Posted October 16, 2011 Again, never been a great writer so no need to hold back on the criticism. Thanks everyone. -------- I will never forget the moment I realized that nothing was more important in my career than becoming a physician assistant. I was sitting in a hospital room, next my grandfather, listening to heartbreaking news being delivered with the softest of words. My grandfather, who I had taken care of over the past year and grown to love more and more with every day and every challenge, was not going to be able to recognize me when he sees me or decipher my words when I speak to him. The only comfort in that moment I shared with my broken mother and my ill grandfather was the reassurance and hope that my grandfather’s PA was able to bring my family. In those two months that I had lost my fiancé’s grandfather and my own, I had met over a dozen doctors and heard terrible news over and over; however what I remember from this time is how this PA showed that she not only cared for my grandfather’s condition but truly cared for him as a human being and my entire family. This was August of 2010. For almost all of my childhood and into my early college career, the only thing that mattered to me was athletics. Being the youngest in a family of nine, I quickly formed an extremely competitive nature, which was translated to athletics. Throughout grade school and into high school, I was the captain of every team I played on, from soccer to basketball to baseball. Despite my father being a doctor and my oldest sister following in his footsteps, I was encouraged to pursue my passion for sports and was never pushed toward a career in medicine. Little did I know, and without my father’s help, medicine would become a part of me even before I graduated high school. During March of my senior year, I was working in the Dominican Republic, rebuilding a church and working in a local middle school. I spent one night during my trip with a pitcher (Victor) from the local baseball team who introduced me to his lifestyle and forever opened my eyes to what truly needing something meant. Victor’s neighborhood was ravished with malnourished kids no older than 3 to 4 years old and adults with relatively common conditions that had become completely debilitating due to a lack of medical care in his area. This night in a small village in the Dominican Republic revealed to me that there was more to this world than sports. I had been blessed with gifts and abilities that should be focused on the something more, rather than on myself. At this point in my life, I knew I wanted to pursue a career in health care, but was not entirely sure where that would lead me. I continued to play two years of baseball at the collegiate level, winning a Pennsylvania state championship my freshmen year, before deciding to pursue a degree in Athletic Training from Temple University. It was here at Temple University where I truly fell in love with the medical field. In my first year in the program, I was introduced to evidence based medicine and have grown to understand and admire the importance of this approach to medicine. This encouraged me to submit a grant application to carry out my own research at Temple. Furthermore, my clinical work with the Temple football team has pushed my boundaries as a professional and has given me the opportunity to hone my skills. Additionally, my approach to the athletes has lead me to remember the value of not just treating a patient’s chief complaint but treating the whole athlete, truly making them important as a person. I have grown in professionalism, maturity and knowledge during my time at Temple, but I feel I am limiting my potential in the medical field. I realized that I pursued athletic training for my own enjoyment but my heart is no longer for myself, it is for those who need, not just medicine, but a health care provider that truly cares for them. I spent some time trying find exactly I wanted to do in the medical field. This included observing practices with physical therapists, occupational therapists, doctors and then finally a physician assistant. During my time shadowing and talking with this physician assistant in the emergency room, I realized that she had the perfect job; she was able to practice medicine without many of the added distraction and was able to build a stronger relationship with her patients. After this experience, I spent much of my time researching the career of a physician assistant to make sure it sincerely matched who I was. It did not take me long to realize that my journey that began with my trip to the Dominican Republic, continued on to my time playing baseball and up until my experience at Temple, all led to the calling to be a physician assistant. It wasn’t much longer after I made this initial realization that I found myself in the hospital with my grandfather on a weekly basis. It was then, in August of 2010, in a room at Abington Memorial Hospital with my mother, my ill grandfather and this physician assistant that I decided nothing was more important in my career than being a physician assistant. Since that time I have dedicated a majority of my free time from school to better myself and bring me closer to becoming a physician assistant. Whether that has been working my school schedule to insure I have the classes I need or taking an accelerated EMT class over the summer to gain more experience, I have had my full heart and devotion to this calling. I know now, not only what I want to be, but also who I want to be. I am fully dedicated to becoming the preeminent physician assistant I can be, not only for me but for my future patients who deserve a medical professional who cares about them and their health as much as they do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Steve Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 I am no scholastic giant by any stretch, but I found the essay to be well written, easy to follow, and conveyed a message. I wonder if distraction should be plural in this line "...she was able to practice medicine without many of the added distraction" but not sure. Short of having a deeper pool of medical experience to pull from, I don't know how to tweak your PS to make it stand out more so I am just thinking off the cuff... There are a plethora of stories very similar to yours revolving how inspiration came from a nice PA during a family member's illness. You put a strong emphasis on your sports background and I'd love to see that fade a bit and maybe bring out more revolving around your community attachment ie: volunteerism. Any luck on getting that EMT or finding a job using it? That would help support your PS a bit. Outside of that PA being extra nice in your opinion, where else did you get your motivation to be a PA? How do YOU differentiate being a PA versus being an MD/DO/NP? I can put you in touch with motivating individuals in any number of career paths that would totally sell you on the idea of being what they are because of their charismatic personality. Where are you separating the fluff from the reality? Another way to put it...how much do you know about the PA profession besides there are nice people doing it? Can you somehow show the reader that you have something to contribute to the PA profession beyond wanting to be a "preeminent" PA? No one applies to PA school overtly wanting to do a mediocre job. Over all though, I found your PS to be an easy read, flowing well, and I had the impression it was heartfelt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Steve Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 I am no scholastic giant by any stretch, but I found the essay to be well written, easy to follow, and conveyed a message. I wonder if distraction should be plural in this line "...she was able to practice medicine without many of the added distraction" but not sure. Short of having a deeper pool of medical experience to pull from, I don't know how to tweak your PS to make it stand out more so I am just thinking off the cuff... There are a plethora of stories very similar to yours revolving how inspiration came from a nice PA during a family member's illness. You put a strong emphasis on your sports background and I'd love to see that fade a bit and maybe bring out more revolving around your community attachment ie: volunteerism. Any luck on getting that EMT or finding a job using it? That would help support your PS a bit. Outside of that PA being extra nice in your opinion, where else did you get your motivation to be a PA? How do YOU differentiate being a PA versus being an MD/DO/NP? I can put you in touch with motivating individuals in any number of career paths that would totally sell you on the idea of being what they are because of their charismatic personality. Where are you separating the fluff from the reality? Another way to put it...how much do you know about the PA profession besides there are nice people doing it? Can you somehow show the reader that you have something to contribute to the PA profession beyond wanting to be a "preeminent" PA? No one applies to PA school overtly wanting to do a mediocre job. Over all though, I found your PS to be an easy read, flowing well, and I had the impression it was heartfelt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin.morrison Posted October 16, 2011 Author Share Posted October 16, 2011 Thank you very much for taking the time to read and critique my PS for me and I think you are absolutely right. I am going to add more about my EMT work (as a volunteer) and work on portraying my knowledge of the profession. Thanks again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin.morrison Posted October 16, 2011 Author Share Posted October 16, 2011 Thank you very much for taking the time to read and critique my PS for me and I think you are absolutely right. I am going to add more about my EMT work (as a volunteer) and work on portraying my knowledge of the profession. Thanks again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Steve Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I would defiantly re work the verbage to let the reader know you finished EMT school and are gaining experience, even if it's on a volunteer basis. The way your statement currently reads I was under the impression the course was either still in progress or you didn't succeed. Don't need to go into any great details of extreme calls or anything crazy like that....just that you're having a blast and learning tons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Steve Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 I would defiantly re work the verbage to let the reader know you finished EMT school and are gaining experience, even if it's on a volunteer basis. The way your statement currently reads I was under the impression the course was either still in progress or you didn't succeed. Don't need to go into any great details of extreme calls or anything crazy like that....just that you're having a blast and learning tons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lgl003 Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 "At this point in my life, I knew I wanted to pursue a career in health care, but was not entirely sure where that would lead me"- change the first "this" to "that" because it is in the past. "I spent some time trying find exactly I wanted to do in the medical field"- insert "to" between "trying" and "find" and insert "what" between "exactly" and "I" "During my time shadowing and talking with this physician assistant in the emergency room..."- change "this" to "a" "...she was able to practice medicine without many of the added distraction..."- make distraction plural and specify what distractions you are talking about "...I have had my full heart and devotion to this calling..."- might sound better as "I have put my full heart and devotion into this calling" Other than these minor errors, your paper was really a joy to read and will definitely make you stand out from other applicants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lgl003 Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 "At this point in my life, I knew I wanted to pursue a career in health care, but was not entirely sure where that would lead me"- change the first "this" to "that" because it is in the past. "I spent some time trying find exactly I wanted to do in the medical field"- insert "to" between "trying" and "find" and insert "what" between "exactly" and "I" "During my time shadowing and talking with this physician assistant in the emergency room..."- change "this" to "a" "...she was able to practice medicine without many of the added distraction..."- make distraction plural and specify what distractions you are talking about "...I have had my full heart and devotion to this calling..."- might sound better as "I have put my full heart and devotion into this calling" Other than these minor errors, your paper was really a joy to read and will definitely make you stand out from other applicants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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