please look over my statement!

[ckl257]

this is my fifth draft .. any criticism is appreciated! thank youuu

 

Last year, my grandmother complained of abdominal pain, nausea, and vomiting and was sent to the emergency room. This is where I encountered my first physician assistant. Only familiar with physicians and nurses, I was intrigued by her autonomy and prominent role in the emergency room. From this experience, I was open to the idea of becoming a physician assistant and began to research more on this profession.

 

Working as a clinical medical assistant at an urgent care center, on a regular day I triage on average 30 patients, and perform tasks such as drawing blood, collecting and preparing lab specimens, performing EKGs, ear irrigations, finger sticks, optical exams, and assist with IV therapy, sutures, and abscess incision and drainage. Additionally, I serve as a translator for patients, with my fluent skills in Korean and basic skills in Spanish. I enjoy my role as a medical assistant because I am able to make each patient’s experience as efficient and enjoyable as possible. Each and every patient has impacted me on my journey to becoming a physician assistant.

 

One patient in particular I recall was a Korean-speaking female patient who complained of upset stomach and vomiting. A couple days prior, she had gone to the ER for a fever and back pain and when she tried to explain her symptoms with broken English, she was given a prescription for Vicodin. I completed a urinalysis and the doctor concluded that it was pyelonephritis. Dr. --- explained to me that her upset stomach was most likely due to the strong pain medicine she was given despite her tiny frame of only 95 pounds. A little more time and concern from the professional could have saved the patient from further pain and distress. Experiences like these encourage me to become a professional who will take time with each patient to provide quality care.

 

After working with various physicians, nurse practitioners, medical assistants, certified nursing assistants, and even front desk receptionists throughout the years, I have come to realize that we all have one thing in common. We all encompass empathy and compassion towards the patients. I have realized that regardless of the degree that we possess or the number of years we went to school, we all strive for the same goal, which is to provide quality care to patients and to benefit the community. I strongly believe that I possess the motivation and compassion it takes to be a successful medical professional.

 

I have several years of past experience in other fields including dental, research, and billing. I worked as an office assistant at --- Dental School where I was able to observe the dental field. During my earlier years at ---, I worked in the scientific research side, serving as an assistant to a Chemistry professor, my roles consisting of communicating with science journals and editing her Chemistry textbook that was currently in progress. Briefly, I worked at a local hospital in Manhattan, working with claims and insurances. Through all of these experiences, I was able to gain insight into various fields while also developing strong communication and professionalism skills. However, these experiences have also affirmed my desire for direct patient care.

 

Most recently, I worked as a pharmacy technician at Walgreens Pharmacy. This was an enlightening experience because I was able to observe the pharmacy side to the medical field. Prior to this, I was the one calling in prescriptions from a medical office, but as a pharmacy technician, I was the one answering the calls and entering, filling, and dispensing prescriptions. I learned that the role of pharmacists is just as vital as physicians in providing medical care to patients. Nevertheless, I realized that I definitely craved for direct patient care and being a pharmacist would not meet my desires.

 

After years of contemplating my future, I have decided to pursue a career as a physician assistant. Working as a medical assistant with a diverse group of medical professionals, I appreciate working in a team and hope to work with a supervising physician who upholds similar values as I do. My strong science background from my undergraduate years at --- will enable me to succeed academically and my experience with patient care will support my endeavors.

 

My ultimate goal is to work in emergency medicine, either at an urgent care center or the emergency room. Sometime in the future, dermatology is also a field I would be interested in, as I have assisted Dr. --- with skincare and cosmetic procedures and found the experience very rewarding. Becoming a physician assistant would give me the flexibility to explore my interest in all of these disciplines. Ultimately, I strive to become a revered physician assistant aspiring to serve the community, especially the minorities and uninsured, hoping to make a difference.

[StudentPA]

Last year, my grandmother complained of abdominal pain, nausea, and vomiting and was sent to the emergency room. There I encountered my first physician assistant [Double check as PA may need to be capitalized in this instance.]. Her autonomy and prominent role in the emergency room intrigued me . From then on, I began to research the Physician Assistant profession [sometimes stating less means more in terms of clarity and sentence flow.].

As [it is implied from the sentence that you working. Removing the word working will save you characters.] a clinical medical assistant at an urgent care center [State the name of the urgent care center. It may have a reputation which could help you more than you know. It could also assist the board reading your P.S. in case they needed to get in touch with the establishment for any reason.], on an average [Purely word choice.] day I triage on average [Eliminate this average usage. Mentioning it in the first part of the sentence means you can eliminate the second mention and still have the sentence flow correctly.] 30 patients, and perform tasks like [shorter word. Same meaning. Also consider including.] drawing blood, collecting and preparing lab specimens, performing EKGs, ear irrigations, finger sticks, optical exams, and assist with IV therapy, sutures, and abscess incision and drainage. Also [shorter word. Same point.], I translate for patients, with my fluent skills in Korean and basic skills in Spanish. I enjoy my role as a medical assistant because I am able to make each patient’s experience as efficient and enjoyable as possible. Each and every patient has impacted me on my journey to becoming a physician assistant.

[mushmouth]

So why do you really want to be a PA?

[ckl257]

thank you! i will try to shorten the rest of my essay too

 

and for those reading, i am debating whether to take the paragraph below out because i feel it doesnt really pertain to physician assistant.. i was trying to get the point across that other experiences have led me to know for sure that i want to be a PA, but not sure if its too much since i talk about Walgreens in the paragraph after

.. any comments appreciated! thank you!

 

I have several years of past experience in other fields including dental, research, and billing. I worked as an office assistant at --- Dental School where I was able to observe the dental field. During my earlier years at ---, I worked in the scientific research side, serving as an assistant to a Chemistry professor, my roles consisting of communicating with science journals and editing her Chemistry textbook that was currently in progress. Briefly, I worked at a local hospital in Manhattan, working with claims and insurances. Through all of these experiences, I was able to gain insight into various fields while also developing strong communication and professionalism skills. However, these experiences have also affirmed my desire for direct patient care.

[ckl257]

So why do you really want to be a PA?

 

because i want to work in the medical field with patient care, serve the community, and PA specifically because of the flexibility in fields but also their autonomy .. mainly the direct patient care.. but i guess that applies to any job in the medical field... i guess i would have to add more about specifically PA since youre asking that question

[StudentPA]

You are welcome. I do have a question for you though. I know I have a habit of shortening Personal Statements, but does my shortening of your Personal Statement actually help with the sentence flow? I feel that it is important to communicate as clearly and effectively as possible.

[ckl257]

yes it definitely helps! thank you for your help.. i just submitted my personal statement so we'll see.. thanks!

[StudentPA]

Best of luck to you. By the way where did you apply to?