xomelanie Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 Characters: 5,024 My life almost ended exactly where it began - in Metropolitana Hospital in Caracas, Venezuela. From the day I was born, most of my time was spent within the cold walls of a hospital room. It took multiple tests to figure out what was wrong with me: why I would not eat, why I was always sick. Intravenous fluids were the only things keeping me alive. Although I do not recall this experience, it is something that followed me for the rest of my life. Every time my grandmother visits, she tells the story in Spanish, “I would place you in the bathtub with flour in to distract you while I attempted to sneak a spoonful of food in your mouth. I did everything for you to be able to survive and I am so grateful you are alive. You will never understand that feeling.” I hug her and smile, “Thanks to you, grandma, I am fine now.” When I was two, my parents desperately took me to Boston Children’s Hospital and discovered my severe lactose, sugar and gluten intolerance. After undergoing extensive treatments, I finally began to enjoy a normal childhood. While my health continued to improve, my grandmother’s medical issues worsened. My grandma suffered from life-threatening melanomas on her face, leaving her disfigured from multiple surgeries. She rarely goes outside and never joins us on vacations because the sun is her worst enemy. Luckily at that time, I began an internship with Dermatology Associates of Tallahassee. I learned about Photodynamic Therapy to rid patients of precancerous lesions. Immediately on my way home that day, it hit me. I told my grandmother about the treatment and her visit could not come soon enough. I had the privilege of performing the procedure on her. Her eyes lit up as she watched me in scrubs, applying the medicine on her face gently, and holding her hand during the procedure. A tear came down her face as she thanked me. In that moment, I realized the feeling she described to me and I searched for a way to find this feeling over and over. I dedicated my college years to studying medicine and trying to figure out which career would be best for me. Recalling my frequent visits to the dermatologist, it was Physician Assistant whom I spent my visits with. It was through her that I first heard of the profession. Not only did she treat my acne but she was there for me when I experienced a sudden loss of hair. The doctor diagnosed it as alopecia areata, but she gave me the support I needed when the painful needles were inserted into my scalp. Upon my many visits I always felt a greater and more personal connection with the PA than the physician, she provided me with the same quality of care as I hope to give a patient. Looking to gain more insight into this career, a dermatology PA I observed, allowed me to witness patients’ joy as their skin cancers were removed in just a few minutes. As I observed the procedure, I was impressed by the vast amount of responsibility and independence a PA could have. It was heart-warming to observe the relationships that are formed and how much his patients truly appreciated him. Both of these PAs showed me the kind of practitioner I want to be: one that is supportive, caring and knowledgeable. After learning about the physician assistant role, I wanted to get more experience in patient care. Passion and perseverance led me to be chosen as a Clinical Assisting Student at Dermatology Associates for Angela Franz, PA-C. Entrusted by the team of doctors, she supervises the Cosmetic Center, providing photodynamic therapy for precancerous lesions, lasers for various skin conditions such as rosacea, Botox and many other treatments that allow patients to regain their confidence. I assess these patients, give options for treatment and refer back to the PA. I am able to witness the autonomy she possesses but also the assistance that is provided by the doctors in the practice if needed. It brings me joy to see these patients’ conditions and self-image improve simultaneously and I find passion in spreading awareness on skin care and skin cancer prevention. Also working as a Patient Care Assistant at Tallahassee Memorial, I assist patients with daily activities, ones that are no longer as effortless as they once were. Watching one of my patients be able to walk again, while another recover from a quadruple bypass surgery, makes my job incredibly rewarding. Every patient I cared for instilled in me the values of care and compassion and how important these are to the well-being of patients. They motivated me to study harder, to serve more compassionately and to work relentlessly. All of these experiences, the patients I had the pleasure to care for and the physician assistants I worked closely with, shaped me into who I am today. These combined reaffirmed my passion for helping others and my love for knowledge and left me with supreme confidence and immense joy in the path I chose as an aspiring physician assistant. I am confident that one day I will be changing the lives of others as mine once was. *(with the same determination and resilience as my grandmother did for me?) *I am confident that I will treat every patient the same way my grandmother did for me, with relentless effort and compassion. * Am i missing why I want to be a PA specifically? * Should I add in about learning abotu diff fields and that is the attractice aspect of PA, just add in how now I can notice derm conditions on my pts at hospital or notice heart medications in my derm pt files, plus ive shadowed orthopedis and plastic surgery... * NEED TO CUT DOWN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbg616 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 Good draft, I think it is good how you tied in your personal experiences with the derm PA which sparked your interest. Since your character count is above 5K, I would revise your 4th paragraph. You talk about what you do there, but would assume you have already included that in your experiences Characters: 5,024 My life almost ended exactly where it began - in Metropolitana Hospital in Caracas, Venezuela. From the day I was born, most of my time was spent within the cold walls of a hospital room. It took multiple tests to figure out what was wrong with me: why I would not eat, why I was always sick. Intravenous fluids were the only things keeping me alive. Although I do not recall this experience, it is something that followed me for the rest of my life. Every time my grandmother visits, she tells the story in Spanish, “I would place you in the bathtub with flour in to distract you while I attempted to sneak a spoonful of food in your mouth. I did everything for you to be able to survive and I am so grateful you are alive. You will never understand that feeling.” I hug her and smile, “Thanks to you, grandma, I am fine now.” When I was two, my parents desperately took me to Boston Children’s Hospital and discovered my severe lactose, sugar and gluten intolerance. After undergoing extensive treatments, I finally began to enjoy a normal childhood. While my health continued to improve, my grandmother’s medical issues worsened. My grandma suffered from life-threatening melanomas on her face, leaving her disfigured from multiple surgeries. She rarely goes outside and never joins us on vacations because the sun is her worst enemy. Luckily at that time, I began an internship with Dermatology Associates of Tallahassee. I learned about Photodynamic Therapy to rid patients of precancerous lesions. Immediately on my way home that day, it hit me. I told my grandmother about the treatment and her visit could not come soon enough. I had the privilege of performing the procedure on her. Her eyes lit up as she watched me in scrubs, applying the medicine on her face gently, and holding her hand during the procedure. A tear came down her face as she thanked me. In that moment, I realized the feeling she described to me and I searched for a way to find this feeling over and over. I dedicated my college years to studying medicine and trying to figure out which career would be best for me. Recalling my frequent visits to the dermatologist, it was Physician Assistant whom I spent my visits with. It was through her that I first heard of the profession. Not only did she treat my acne but she was there for me when I experienced a sudden loss of hair. The doctor diagnosed it as alopecia areata, but she gave me the support I needed when the painful needles were inserted into my scalp. Upon my many visits I always felt a greater and more personal connection with the PA than the physician, she provided me with the same quality of care as I hope to give a patient. Looking to gain more insight into this career, a dermatology PA I observed, allowed me to witness patients’ joy as their skin cancers were removed in just a few minutes. As I observed the procedure, I was impressed by the vast amount of responsibility and independence a PA could have. It was heart-warming to observe the relationships that are formed and how much his patients truly appreciated him. Both of these PAs showed me the kind of practitioner I want to be: one that is supportive, caring and knowledgeable. After learning about the physician assistant role, I wanted to get more experience in patient care. Passion and perseverance led me to be chosen as a Clinical Assisting Student at Dermatology Associates for Angela Franz, PA-C. Entrusted by the team of doctors, she supervises the Cosmetic Center, providing photodynamic therapy for precancerous lesions, lasers for various skin conditions such as rosacea, Botox and many other treatments that allow patients to regain their confidence. I assess these patients, give options for treatment and refer back to the PA. I am able to witness the autonomy she possesses but also the assistance that is provided by the doctors in the practice if needed. It brings me joy to see these patients’ conditions and self-image improve simultaneously and I find passion in spreading awareness on skin care and skin cancer prevention. Also working as a Patient Care Assistant at Tallahassee Memorial, I assist patients with daily activities, ones that are no longer as effortless as they once were. Watching one of my patients be able to walk again, while another recover from a quadruple bypass surgery, makes my job incredibly rewarding. Every patient I cared for instilled in me the values of care and compassion and how important these are to the well-being of patients. They motivated me to study harder, to serve more compassionately and to work relentlessly. All of these experiences, the patients I had the pleasure to care for and the physician assistants I worked closely with, shaped me into who I am today. These combined reaffirmed my passion for helping others and my love for knowledge and left me with supreme confidence and immense joy in the path I chose as an aspiring physician assistant. I am confident that one day I will be changing the lives of others as mine once was. *(with the same determination and resilience as my grandmother did for me?) *I am confident that I will treat every patient the same way my grandmother did for me, with relentless effort and compassion. * Am i missing why I want to be a PA specifically? * Should I add in about learning abotu diff fields and that is the attractice aspect of PA, just add in how now I can notice derm conditions on my pts at hospital or notice heart medications in my derm pt files, plus ive shadowed orthopedis and plastic surgery... * NEED TO CUT DOWN page on CASPA? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbg616 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 Sorry, I tried to quote a line in reference to what I was talking about and it took the whole thing. Still getting used to this forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xomelanie Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 Thanks for your input! Yes im thinking thats the one to cut down too! Any advice on what to cut out or what is most important to keep? I definitely want to keep what I do in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffee Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 While my health continued to improve, my grandmother’s medical issues worsened. My grandma suffered from life-threatening melanomas on her face, leaving her disfigured from multiple surgeries. She rarely goes outside and never joins us on vacations because the sun is her worst enemy (I know this sentence is intended to add a bit of an emotional/personal perspective, but I think everything else does well to convey your relationship with her. Also, I assume that the people reading your statement would know how life-threatening melanomas would affect a patient. So this can be taken out if you need to cut down - takes out 90 characters). Luckily at that time, I began an internship with Dermatology Associates of Tallahassee. I learned about Photodynamic Therapy to rid patients of precancerous lesions. Immediately on my way home that day, it hit me. I told my grandmother about the treatment and her visit could not come soon enough. I had the privilege of performing the procedure on her. Her eyes lit up as she watched me in scrubs, applying the medicine on her face gently, and holding her hand during the procedure. A tear came down her face as she thanked me. In that moment, I realized the feeling she described to me and I searched for a way to find this feeling over and over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xomelanie Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 Thank you for your input! I'm assuming everything else is okay then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afloo Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Characters: 5,024 My life almost ended exactly where it began - in Metropolitana Hospital in Caracas, Venezuela. From the day I was born, most of my time was spent within the cold walls of a hospital room. It took multiple tests to figure out what was wrong with me: why I would not eat, why I was always sick. Intravenous fluids were the only things keeping me alive. Although I do not recall this experience, it is something that followed me for the rest of my life. Every time my grandmother visits, she tells the story in Spanish, “I would place you in the bathtub with flour in it to distract you while I attempted to sneak a spoonful of food in your mouth. I did everything for you to be able to survive and I am so grateful you are alive. You will never understand that feeling.” I hug her and smile, “Thanks to you, grandma, I am fine now.” When I was two, my parents desperately took me to Boston Children’s Hospital and discovered my severe lactose, sugar and gluten intolerance. After undergoing extensive treatments, I finally began to enjoy a normal childhood. While my health continued to improve, my grandmother’s medical issues worsened. My grandma suffered from life-threatening melanomas on her face, leaving her disfigured from multiple surgeries. She rarely goes outside and never joins us on vacations because the sun is her worst enemy. Luckily at that time, I began an internship with Dermatology Associates of Tallahassee. I learned about Photodynamic Therapy to rid patients of precancerous lesions. Immediately on my way home that day, it hit me. I told my grandmother about the treatment and her visit could not come soon enough. I had the privilege of performing the procedure on her. Her eyes lit up as she watched me in scrubs, applying the medicine on her face gently, and holding her hand during the procedure. A tear came down her face as she thanked me. In that moment, I realized the feeling she described to me and I searched for a way to find this feeling over and over. I dedicated my college years to studying medicine and trying to figure out which career would be best for me. Recalling my frequent visits to the dermatologist, it was the Physician Assistant (lower case) whom I spent my visits with. It was through her that I first heard of the profession. Not only did she treat my acne but she was there for me when I experienced a sudden loss of hair. The doctor diagnosed it as alopecia areata, but she gave me the support I needed when the painful needles were inserted into my scalp. Upon my many visits I always felt a greater and more personal connection with the PA than the physician, she provided me with the same quality of care as I hope to give a patients. Looking to gain more insight into this career, a dermatology PA I observed ( I observed a dermatology PA) , which allowed me to witness patients’ joy as their skin cancers were removed in just a few minutes. As I observed the procedure, I was impressed by the vast amount of responsibility and independence a PA could have. It was heart-warming to observe the relationships that are formed and how much his patients truly appreciated him. Both of these PAs showed me the kind of practitioner I want to be: one that is supportive, caring and knowledgeable. After learning about the physician assistant role, I wanted to get more experience in patient care. Passion and perseverance led me to be chosen as a Clinical Assisting Student at Dermatology Associates for Angela Franz, PA-C. Entrusted by the team of doctors, she supervises the Cosmetic Center, providing photodynamic therapy for precancerous lesions, lasers for various skin conditions such as rosacea, Botox and many other treatments that allow patients to regain their confidence. I assess these patients, give options for treatment and refer back to the PA. I am able to witness the autonomy she possesses but also the assistance that is provided by the doctors in the practice if needed. It brings me joy to see these patients’ conditions and self-image improve simultaneously and I find passion in spreading awareness on skin care and skin cancer prevention. Also working as a Patient Care Assistant at Tallahassee Memorial, I assist patients with daily activities, ones that are no longer as effortless as they once were ( maybe to cut down, you don't need to explain the role of a PCA?). Watching one of my patients be able to walk again, while another recover from a quadruple bypass surgery, makes my job incredibly rewarding. Every patient I cared for instilled in me the values of care and compassion and how important these are to the well-being of patients. They motivated me to study harder, to serve more compassionately and to work relentlessly. All of these experiences, the patients I had the pleasure to care for and the physician assistants I worked closely with, shaped me into who I am today. These combined reaffirmed my passion for helping others and my love for knowledge and left me with supreme confidence and immense joy in the path I chose as an aspiring physician assistant. I am confident that one day I will be changing the lives of others as mine once was. *(with the same determination and resilience as my grandmother did for me?) *I am confident that I will treat every patient the same way my grandmother did for me, with relentless effort and compassion. I do like this sentence . you could say.. I am confident that one day I will be changing the lives of others, treating every patient the same way my grandmother treated me, with relentless effort and compassion... but I know your limited for space * Am i missing why I want to be a PA specifically? - no you explained this very well I think, if you add in about different fields you will have to cut out more and I think you do a good job explaining why PA over any other medical profession * Should I add in about learning abotu diff fields and that is the attractice aspect of PA, just add in how now I can notice derm conditions on my pts at hospital or notice heart medications in my derm pt files, plus ive shadowed orthopedis and plastic surgery... * NEED TO CUT DOWN - I could help you find more to cut out if you need .. I think your PS is very good and I like how you mention a lot of your experiences! and made it very personal. Buena Suerte chica !! you will be a great PA !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PALois Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 ----- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.